commented on SL Letter of the Day: If Not Unicorns Then What?
James6 @24 has it right - Dan's original use of Unicorn was "someone who was willing to materialize, fuck you and your husband or wife, and then vanish without leaving a trace or any emotional entanglements."
Perhaps the 'junior wife/concubine/house-servant-who's-willing-to-accept-this-arrangement' combo that @4 and others describe is just as mythical a creature as the Unicorn, but for the sake of clarity, she should really be given her own name. How about Golemette?
commented on The New York Times Weighs In on the Kudzu-Like Spread of Trigger Warnings
Dan: You're wrong to assume that a writer sensitive enough to use a trigger warning for rape and sexual violence will only be writing about rape and sexual violence 'in a sensitive manner', because oftentimes it isn't merely their own writing that's part of their piece. A writer may include a trigger warning when the material they're going to discuss features quotes or descriptions from other people or source material.
There are absolutely an endless number of things that could trigger memories and emotional/anxiety responses in people and these can't be predicted, but we know that there are common themes that trigger survivors of emotional/physical/spiritual abuse, and rape and sexual abuse.
And screw Sherman Alexie if he thinks that trigger warnings are 'censorship'.
commented on It's Been A Couple of Days—How Are You Feeling About That Game of Thrones Rape Scene?
Given how rapey the books are (and child-rapey, since all of the characters are at least 5 years younger in the book than they're presented in the HBO series), it's surprising why they've felt the need to make the show so much more rapey. In the book, Daenerys' wedding night is not at all how it it's presented in the show, and the desperate sex between Jaime and Cersei at near Joffrey's corpse is fraught, but consensual.
commented on Christian School Expels Eight-Year-Old Tomboy
What no one seems to have mentioned in all of this is that when people say 'feminine', they don't mean 'female' - what they really mean is 'heteronormatively pretty'. If this girl was a petite little waif of a 'tomboy' who had a pixie haircut and wore jeans and t-shirts, then she'd meet the heteronormative criteria of femininity and 'appropriate gender presentation'. Furthermore, our unconscious recognition of another person's sex is very much determined by observing facial proportions, and in the case of this girl, her excess fat changes the proportions of her facial features and contributes to her androgynous appearance. So basically the people who are picking on her are reading her as not acceptably presenting as female because they see her as too fat and not pretty enough.
'Biblically based' culture is creepily patriarchal, and since men generally prefer long hair on females, long hair is decreed as being an element of 'biblical womanhood'.
commented on SL Letter of the Day: Butt Wiring
No one ever seems to mention this, so I will: Some people find that having something small, like a finger, in their ass is actually more uncomfortable and annoying than something larger, like a butt plug or a penis.
commented on The Fear of Being Made into a Woman
Do you really think that men who don't want to be the target of male sexual attention are going to react by suddenly feeling empathy for women who don't want to be the target of male sexual attention? Hell, no! They're going to react by repudiating any vulnerability and asserting their he-man manliness, and we all know what sorts of behaviours that entails.