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Mar 31 MameSnidely commented on SL Letter of the Day: Leaving Monogamy Behind.
I think I disagree with you Dan. Girl sounds crazy. Husband deserves better. She needs to either become better with some CBT or she needs to go.
Mar 31 MameSnidely commented on What a City Gets (and Doesn't Get) When It Gives Tech Companies Tax Breaks for Building in Low-Income Areas.
@14 -- I leave very good tips for good service, often more than 20% of the bill. But the service is laughably bad more often than not -- wrong order, dinner more the 1 hour after ordering, poorly made drinks (this long island tea tastes like coffee?) Dirty tables. I could go on.

I've seen tech workers drop 30% on shitty, shitty service.
Mar 31 MameSnidely commented on What a City Gets (and Doesn't Get) When It Gives Tech Companies Tax Breaks for Building in Low-Income Areas.
Uhm, in general I don't think the tech boom has been good for San Fran, in any sense. I've lived here for two years, and more and more I think I can ascribe the problems I encounter on a daily basis are related right back to the tech industry.

Tech workers, as a rule are pretty socially awkward. The amount of socially awkward I encounter here is sometimes above and beyond what I can parse. Imagine an entire office full of that one awkward girl at the party. Sometimes it's cool but it often sucks when you are actually trying to accomplish anything.

This means social venues like clubs, restaurants, bars, concerts, etc are pretty watered down because tech is their main client. I get so much bad service here it's not funny. But tech guys don't notice, so they still get big tips, leaving places with horrible service doing the briskest business in the city!

There is a lot of elitism here. But not a lot of 'taste'.

Yes, the tech business has brought a lot of money to the bay area, but it caused a lot of the current problems because it brought a lot of people here without any infrastructure to support them. Traffic is horrible, housing is out of control (3k a month for a dumpy 'college' style apartment), there is an acute water shortage. And because things got so expensive, plenty of the more interesting cultural things to do either got so expensive that you can't afford to go (200+ dollars to go see the ballet, and that's the just-in-front-of-nosebleed-seats) or they just folded up and left.

Pay can't keep up with the rising costs.

The tech industry is trying to solve the problem by building their own housing, but that's fraught with other problems, and you've all read about the google buses.

Uncorralled tech is not a good idea for any city.
Feb 18 MameSnidely commented on Lindy West on This Garbage Video About Sex and Marriage: "We Aren't the Numbers. The Numbers Are Us.".
Uhm, historically speaking the pill was simply the first contraceptive that required nothing of the man. Cervical caps cramped the fun, same for early condoms and pessaries, etc. There seems to be a lot of confusion that pill = contraception, and everything else = Russian roulette. That's not how that works.

I agree sex is cheap these days, but not for the reasons stated.
Feb 18 MameSnidely commented on SL Letter of the Day: Time to Expunge.
@67 -- that's a good point.
Feb 18 MameSnidely commented on SL Letter of the Day: Time to Expunge.
@64 -- god forbid our personal experience EVER throw up any red flags, eh? Because if it did, people like you would never get dates. I see what you did there. This is like the bikinis are empowering argument that's so popular in the western world.

It's nice that we have theories and hypotheses that say that fantasies and pornography and all this other stuff has no negative impact, but the unfortunate reality is that none of these hypotheses (which I used to believe) have played out in experimentation. Not one of them. I read the studies and I'm afraid that they put plenty of my beliefs in the blender and hit the 'pulverize' button without an ounce of guilt.

The evidence is in fact mounting for the opposite case -- that these kinds of fantasies ARE bad news, and that pornography creates dissatisfaction in real life as well as desires that are against our own best interests (biologically speaking.)

But don't let a little science stand in the way of your soapboxing.
Feb 18 MameSnidely commented on SL Letter of the Day: Time to Expunge.
You know, I used to be on the side of the fence that fantasies were their own beast. And then my life had a major upset when I found myself as an observer in a bad situation that involved non-consent. Supposing that this guy isn't talking about a seduction scene -- she's protesting her honor, her good name, the fact that good girls 'don't', etc, etc, and he's smooth talking his way past the barriers -- and he's really talking about a rape fantasy.... I think his girlfriend has a point.

The trouble with non-consensual fantasies (the trouble with all fantasies) is that the more you fuel it, the more it takes to get the payoff. So if the girlfriend does the 'subway scene', then the next time, it will have to escalate. Pretty much every predator, and in fact, one guy that had a thing for kids that wrote to Dan said, is that the more they try to take the edge off with fake situations, the more they wanted the real thing. It's why sadists hit their partners with real whips -- they want to cause real pain. It's why masochists let them -- they want to feel real pain. The illusion does not do. While I think there are loads and loads and loads of fantasies that are safe to indulge, and I used to think this was one of them, I don't anymore.
Feb 17 MameSnidely commented on Ellen Page's Coming Out Video: "I'm Tired of Hiding, and I'm Tired of Lying by Omission".
An actor or actress coming out in Los Angeles or New York City is not.... uh... suffering. Try coming out in a small town that is very religious and get back to me, mmmk? I think it's nice that she told everyone (because somehow we didn't know before?) but it's just not something I'm going to applaud as twoo bravery.
Feb 12 MameSnidely commented on SL Letter of the Day: What a Kackass.
This is rare..... I went from "pretty sure this girl is a victim of some serious mind games" to 'yep, she's a piece o' trash."

I think I leveled up my scumbag detector. Thanks sloggers!
Feb 11 MameSnidely commented on SL Letter of the Day: What a Kackass.
@17 Venom -- I took that to mean snuggling/cuddling/mutual massage/etc. However, if it was straight on screwing for 9 hours... o.O

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