commented on SL Letter of the Day: Model Behavior
I'm going to disagree with some people, including Dan, about one thing. He shouldn't apologize to her, he should just stop all contact with her.
According to the letter, she says that she'd be "be very upset if [he plays] with someone else." (bottom of the sixth paragraph after the jump) They live on different continents; they've never met; but she feels like she has the right to tell him that he can only do his thing with her. Just to add salt to the wound, she feels that she should be able to play around and not have it count. She feels entitled to a relationship that's open for her and closed for him but which she claims is closed for both of them.
If they were actually in a relationship, his reaction would be a rational response to "You're not allowed to play around, and here are photos of me playing around. How dare you suggest that me playing around is me playing around?" She had many opportunities to give sane responses to things he said, responses like "we haven't met each other yet, there will be plenty of time to think of marriage after we've met" and "yes, considering that we haven't met each other yet I have bondage play with others when I get the opportunity and you should too." She chose not to say those things.
@11: The reward he gets for getting his head screwed on straight is that he DOESN'T have a date with her. She's as crazy as he is.
commented on SL Letter of the Day: Adventure Dad!
@19: Doesn't sound to me like the problem is in "details" you overlooked. It sounds to me like your problem is that your wife doesn't love you, nor even particularly like you.
And you don't need treatment for depression. Your depression is a completely rational and healthy response to the unhealthy life circumstances you're putting yourself in. It's telling you "get out of here, NOW!" You should listen to it.
None of this has anything to do with kids.
commented on SLLOTD: A Caring Loving Uncle
Well, I don't know about other people, but I remember being 14, and if I were 14 again you could threaten me with violence or you could offer to answer any of my questions, etc. - pick one. Because if you're threatening me with violence I'm sure as hell not having anything to do with you if I can possibly avoid it, and that certainly includes asking you for ANY sort of help. The whole part about the strange adult offering unsolicited advice about sex would be creepy as hell, too.
Oh, and if an adult is threatening hypothetical 14-year-old me with violence I'm probably going to talk it over with my dad. (Random threats to kill me from a strange man? Yes, I think I'm out of my 14-year-old depth here.) I'm sure that he'll be thrilled to learn that an adult male stranger is offering to buy the 14-year-old me condoms.
commented on What Do Republican Commenters Think of the Shutdown Deal?
Quite the response to my little post.
"You realize that the American revolution was led by people you derisively call "progressives" against a monarchy right?"
No, I have to admit that it never occurred to me to associate "progressive" with "slave owner" e.g. George Washington.
"you seem to be implying that a violent non-democratic imperial monarchy is better than a rebellion."
Better than THAT rebellion? That rebellion that killed over 30 million people? That rebellion that took power away from a democratically elected parliament? That rebellion that resulted in what was, in all but name, a far more violent non-democratic imperial monarchy? Oh hell yes.
And yes, people thought that the Soviet Union was progressive right up into the 30's and 40's. Hindsight is wonderful, Lenin and Stalin were very good at seeing that news didn't cross their borders, progressives then were as (rightly) suspicious of mainstream news as progressives are now, and so the progressives of the 30's didn't know what we do now. Why do you think Orwell wrote "Animal Farm" and "Nineteen Eighty-Four"? If everyone had had our modern perception of the Soviet Union since 1917, those books would hardly have been necessary.
Yes, agreed, there is very little far left in America at all. That's what I said. But, again, what left there is peaceful because it's weak. If they were somehow to gain power (NO chance of happening), one of the first things the extremists would do would be to purge the moderates.
Please do go on thinking I'm a right-wing American who watches Fox News. It's hilarious.
commented on Mormon Mom and Anti-Gay Activist Finds Out Her Own Son Is Gay...
@90: All those Gauls who were enslaved by Caesar's legions 50 years before the birth of Christ would no doubt be happy to hear that slavery would be invented by Christians, as would the various slaves of Spartacus' unsuccessful revolt who were crucified and used as milestones around the same time.
@MiscKitty: you could certainly argue that there's a pretty strong trend for relatively tolerant, mildly religious countries to become relatively tolerant irreligious countries. However, there is no such trend for irreligious countries becoming more tolerant. In 1945, the most irreligious country in the world was... Russia.
@34 Epic fail at understanding Russian politics. The head of the Russian Orthodox Church was appointed by (atheist) Vladimir Putin. His credentials are that he's cooperated with state security services all his life. "Separation of Church and State" is something that never happened in Russia - the official Church is as much an arm of the government as the police are. If Putin told the Russian Orthodox Church to fly rainbow flags from all their cathedrals, they'd fly rainbow flags from all their cathedrals. If they had any independence they wouldn't let Putin tell them who their next Patriarch was going to be.
commented on SLLOTD: Maladjusted Shits
@DRF: Asexuality isn't a highly personal top sekrit detail any more than homosexuality is. A coworker telling me that they're asexual isn't giving me TMI any more than a coworker telling me that they're gay is. Neither are analogous to a kinky coworker informing me of the details of their kinks, which probably would be TMI.
Anyway, you're not (as far as I know) asexual yourself, and I don't think they've asked you to speak for them. This whole discussion is much more about DRF than it is about asexuals. So enough.
commented on SLLOTD: Maladjusted Shits
DRF, you can't read minds so stop telling other people what their motivations are.
Your whole argument is bullshit. I like being courted by gay men - I just don't want to have sex with them. By your logic, if a gay man mistakes me for gay and asks me out, I'd be entirely within my rights to encourage his mistake right up until the end of the third date or sixth date or whenever he insists on sex, at which point I'd tell him, "Actually, I'm straight, but I do like it when you take me out for dinner." I don't do that because it would be dishonest and manipulative, in exactly the same way that an asexual person representing themselves as sexual (however passively) in order to get romance is being dishonest and manipulative.
commented on SLLOTD: Maladjusted Shits
@36 I wouldn't take Uncreative's word about dating etiquette (or anything else): that's just Uncreative's (extremely self-serving) opinion. There are lots of people who do it differently. In particular, among heterosexuals, "the person who asks out pays" is a euphemism given the extremely strong expectation that the man should be the one doing the asking-out. And, in my limited experience, as a guy, of being asked out by women, women who ask men for dates don't expect to pay any more than women who are asked out by men do.
@34 "How emotionally involved can someone get after just a few dates?"
I don't know what your teens and twenties were like, but I was perfectly capable of "falling in love" with people I'd hardly met.
"they're also big things that can turn people off to a partner who might be worth the sacrifice. First date is too early."
Shouldn't that be something the potential partner can make an informed decision on?