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Nov 13, 2013 Corvicula1979 commented on Savage Love.
DRF @41: re Miley Cyrus. well, with "slut" there's the issue of actual sexual promiscuity, and there's the sense that someone dancing and dressing in a sexually provocative manner is called "slutty" whether or not she's actually having a lot of sex. These are somewhat different things but people often use the same word, "slut" for both, and in that sense shaming her for her dress and dancing is "slut shaming"

Personally I don't care how many sex partners she has, and I'm not morally against revealing clothing and provocative dancing. I just thought the whole thing was crass, tacky and tasteless.
Nov 13, 2013 Corvicula1979 commented on Savage Love.
Drusilla @19:
" (And along those lines, almost every person I've ever met refers to animals of indeterminate sex as "he," sometimes "it," NEVER "she.") "

- with the notable exceptions of cats. Almost everyone I know will refer to a cat whose gender is unknown to them as "she", ie, female until proven otherwise.

On the subject of straight men doing drag. I've had a couple of straight, cis male friends who enjoyed occasionally dressing as women (not, mind you, doing a drag show) - basically because they thought it might be fun to go out in a skirt and blouse, or because they like how it looks and want to wear it to, or just as a "dressing up in costume" sort of thing... the whole point dressing up in costume being to present to the world as something you aren't, in this case, as a woman. In those particular cases, I didn't feel that they were doing anything disrespectful to women, or to people who are transgender, etc etc. That's just my opinion though.
Oct 9, 2013 Corvicula1979 commented on Savage Love.
@45 - re: whether the sexual orientation of the object of a celebrity crush matters to having that crush....
I would say, on the whole, no; personally I've had celebrity crushes on women I have no reason to believe aren't straight.
As for Mr. Bergoglio; I can't agree with Dan's taste, but hey, that's what human diversity is all about.
Jul 18, 2013 Corvicula1979 commented on Sprawl Kills.
@8 " growing up in tract-house suburbia can be socially, emotionally and intellectually desolate."
@20 "Small towns, rural areas, and suburbia offer less variety and less possibility."

OTOH Depending on the age of the teen / how much freedom their parents give them, and local transit infrastructure, kids in the suburbs of big cities in theory have access to all those in-the-city things to do. I went to a semi-private school for the gifted in downtown Toronto (my point being that it was drawing kids from all over the suburbs (and exurbs). To be fair, the suburban kids' parents were clearly already fine with them commuting downtown for school, anyway - but the point is that teenagers living out in the suburbs, with a little ingenuity regarding commuter trains, have access to all that culture too. I'm in what I would call midtown/uptown, not suburbs (or, another way, it was the suburbs of the 1920s)... but one of my highschool besties, and the one who got *me* started going to goth nightclubs when we were both underage, was quite suburban.

FWIW I don't know if Toronto qualifies as a "big city" by US standards but it's (a) the biggest we got and (b) extraordinarily diverse, both in the multicultural sense and in the subcultural sense. Pop. is 2.79 million in the city, 5.5 million in the greater urban sprawl. According to Wiki, pop density - I think for the city proper, is 4,149/km2 (Also according to Wiki, the overall agglomeration of urban sprawl is 5th largest in N America, after only Mexico City, New York, LA and Chicago and their respective sprawls)

@10's comment about school size: when I was there, my school was transitioning from 75 students in each grade level to 100 students (and it was 6 years - a bit complicated but in short, it was middle and high school) - so moving from a total of 450 to a total of 600. Though as I said above, highly urban setting. Damn small by the standards of city public school. And there really was not severe bullying (YMMV depending on the dynamics of your particular class) - people felt they couldn't come out (as LGBT etc) while there - and promptly came out at university - but I think it wasn't to do with bullying, more that the atmosphere was so stiflingly close-knit that people didn't want to rock the boat. And this was in the mid-1990's (I graduated HS in 1996) - presumably the school's atmosphere is more open now as the broader culture has shifted in general. I wasn't super OUT about being bi when I was there but neither was I hiding it, and by my senior year I was identifying as Wiccan and goth - and nobody gave me any trouble about any of it.
Mar 15, 2013 Corvicula1979 commented on We Can't Make Gay Marriage Legal Because Then Gay People Will Start Having Sex.
@71- re: innate revulsion to bitter foods: you know that there are people who have heightened sensitivity to bitter taste. I believe it is a genetic trait. Therefore we'd be less likely to overcome that revulsion - or accustom ourselves to the bitterness - because for us it is much more bitter.
off topic I know. :)
Jan 15, 2013 Corvicula1979 commented on Bigots Will Have to Fly Into Oakland and Take BART.
You all are lucky in that your IATA airport codes stand a chance of bearing some relationship to the name of the airport (JFK, LHR = London HeathRow) or the name of the city they're in (MIA, DEN, LAX). I live in the land of all IATA codes starting with Y. Specifically my "home" airports are YYZ and YTZ.

(Snipped from Wikipedia's article on IATA airport codes:
"All major airports in Canada use airport codes that begin with the letter "Y", although not all "Y" codes are Canadian. Many Canadian airports simply append a combinations of letters in the city's name to the "Y": YOW for Ottawa, YYC for Calgary, and YVR for Vancouver. Some Canadian codes are much harder to identify simply through the letters alone, particularly at two of Canada's largest airports, YUL for Montreal-Trudeau and YYZ for Toronto-Pearson.")
Dec 16, 2012 Corvicula1979 commented on The City Hall of Love.
@15, I hadn't heard about the Seahawks fans. That just makes it (a little bit) awesomer.

Totally using this as a happy pill to cheer me up after all the coverage of Sandy Hook.
Dec 7, 2012 Corvicula1979 commented on Savage Love.
Dan -
Absolutely, big props to all the straight folks who helped it happen!
I live in Canada (it's been legal up here for a few years now, as you know from personal experience!) - so those votes don't affect my life directly, but it sure made me sooooo happy on election night and the day after to see how those 4 state votes went. (And Tammy Baldwin, and on non-LGBT matters, Warren, McCaskill, and the gent who defeated Murdouch, and Rep. Tammy Duckworth....and on and on.. not to mention re-electing Obama!)
Dec 7, 2012 Corvicula1979 commented on Savage Love.
To weigh in on "is poly / monogamy an orientation?"

I don't think there is one right answer. As other commenters have said I think it might be a spectrum. I've known people who couldn't be anything other than monogamous, that's how their "wiring" ended up; and I've also known people who have to be in poly arrangements to be happy. But I think a lot of the rest of us are somewhere in between. For myself, I am capable of being in love with two people at the same time - it's happened to me; but because of jealousy issues, the problems of negotiating and scheduling time etc etc... I feel that I have to work at achieving monogamy, but I also would have to work at getting to a workable polyamory situation, and the monogamy end of things is less effort, from where I'm at. So, somewhere in the middle, a bit closer to mono.

and my second point is... reading my lengthy explanation there: for me, which way I end up living my relationships *is* a choice. But I also recognize that for some people, it really, really isn't a choice, it's how they are.
Nov 28, 2011 Corvicula1979 commented on Trans Football Player Helps Samoan Team Win Match, Break Losing Streak.
this is pretty cool, but when i saw Dan's headline (before reading the comments, and the link), my first thought was a transman in the usual north american sense, playing on a men's team. Which would be cool in a different way.