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Jul 13, 2011 divine_miss_em commented on Pennsylvania Restaurant Bans Babies.
@91 See, that's the thing. Rarely to people actually come up to you and say "Hey, you, your kid is a brat and totally ruined my experience here." Threads like this bring out the whole I brought my kid places and he/she behaves well. Good for you. Either this is true, in which case you are doing well and should also be aware that many things in society aren't taken on a case by case basis (as was said upthread); or you just don't realize that a meal with little preshus isn't rainbows and butterflies for everyone else. And you should know that. You're biased, and that's ok, you should be, they're your kid, you're their parent and their advocate, but you can't expect everyone else to be that.
Jul 13, 2011 divine_miss_em commented on You Guys. No..
Why thank you, @42. I have lots of hipster acquaintances, it's really just a summary.
Jul 12, 2011 divine_miss_em commented on You Guys. No..
Well, MY ceremony was at city hall and only lasted 4 and a half minutes and then we all went to a public park while wearing stick on mustaches and carrying parasols. We had a photo booth where everyone could dress up as Abraham Lincoln. My bridesmaids and I sewed our own dresses from fabric that I designed and made on my loom, and my husband wore a vintage suit and we all wore Converse sneakers. My whole reception only cost $3.80 and we ate organically grown free-range lentils from my rooftop garden.
Jun 29, 2011 divine_miss_em commented on SL Letter of the Day: The Accidental Boyfriend.
@35. Absolutely all of this.
Jun 20, 2011 divine_miss_em commented on My Flame Is Dim?.
80. Straight girl raised in a theater, so I think that explains it.
Jun 15, 2011 divine_miss_em commented on Stupid Fucking Anti-Vaccine Hippies.
"Mississippi's high vaccine rate (99.7%) might be dangerous/bad."
Ok. first of all, vaccine rates are not the corollary you're looking for to the reasons that Mississippi has high rates of obesity, diabetes, teen pregnancy, high blood pressure, and lower education scores. Some of the reasons for this include, but are not limited to:
Mississippi is extremely rural, therefore people tend to drive more, and walk less. Also, it's hot, really, you can't understand it without being there hot for most of 7 months of the year, which, again, leads to people driving instead of walking. Even in the more tightly packed urban areas, the public transportation is abysmal, and sidewalks rarely exist outside of older neighborhoods.
It is also poor. For the most part. Really, crushingly poor. And the rich people who are there tend to use their power to do things that further disenfranchise the poor. This creates several problems. No teachers want to come to the Mississippi Delta to teach in the schools there, so they end up with whatever they can get. There isn't really any money to pay them well, or even to a standard that the rest of the country would find acceptable, hence, it's hard to get teachers to come in, even when we get the teachers, there simply isn't any money being put into the schools. School funding here (and other places, I know) comes from property taxes within a certain district, meaning the haves and have-nots are pretty starkly divided. Also, when you have this kind of poverty, you look at a lot of people using government assistance to get by, leading to them buying more processed food because it lasts longer and has more calories, so may be more filling.
Also, you have a huge church influence, especially in the African-American community, which leads to more young people keeping their sexual experimentation a secret, and young girls feeling pressured into keeping the baby if they do become pregnant.
Churches also have a bit to do with the obesity aspect, because church is a very important part of the culture (Black and white) in most of the South. Things like fish fries and cookouts reinforce the Southern food traditions. Food and family are very closely intertwined, and the kinds of food that have been passed down and have not just nutritional, but also emotional value are not exactly artery friendly.
The idea is that we are trying to totally rework decades and generations of how people think about and cook food. It has not been easy, and it will not be easy, but slowly, people are starting change a little.
YES. For anyone about to say this, most of these things are about personal choice, and what we have to do is make people here see that they need to make the healthier choices, not just for themselves, but for their children and the future. It is not easy, and there are a lot of people down here who are working to make a change, not just in people's health, but in their access to education and access to making better sexual choices (and not the abstinence-only folks either-ugh).
So, yes, things down here can get ridiculous, and there are things to be made fun of, but if you want to help, you can, or you can just sit there and laugh. That's ok too, I guess, we're used to it.
We can hope to educate people to make Mississippi a healthier place, but at least most of us won't die of measles, mumps or whooping cough while we do it.
Jun 3, 2011 divine_miss_em commented on Using the Bible to Justify Your Bigotry—It's Nothing New.
I attended Catholic high school in MS; in fact one of the first, if not the first school in MS to be integrated. The bishop at the time was "investigated" and threatened by the Sovereignty Commission. I will admit that this school's legacy is something of which I'm proud to have been a part. It's pretty racially mixed, and offers scholarships to those who want a Catholic education but do not have the money to do afford it. In MS, most of the whites who wished to keep their children away from integration send their children to private prep schools that were formed with the explicit purpose of avoiding integration. To this day, there are rarely more than 10 people of color in one of those schools at any given time; a friend of mine went to one and there were two African-American students there in her entire high school career, they were brother and sister.
May 22, 2011 divine_miss_em commented on Breaking News: Women in Pants Still Considered Subversive in Alabama.
Mississippi: at least we're not Alabama.
May 6, 2011 divine_miss_em commented on Savage Love.
Others have touched on this, and I may have missed it, 'cause damn, this is a long thread, but, while the hypothetical question posed in the first question is interesting, I think I look more at her reasons for asking it. The answer about informing a sexual partner about an abortion/pregnancy scare is one thing, and leaving aside the rape question (not that the rape question isn't important or that rape and what constitutes it shouldn't be discussed), it seems like they were both interested in each other, but since he had a girlfriend that he doesn't seem to have been willing to dump, they decided to be "friends." "Friends" with sexual tension. I wonder if part of her "freak-out" after this incident occurred was her wondering if they should tell the gf, which, if he wasn't in an open relationship, or one where he had permission, would definitely be a reason he would stop talking to her. I can see there being many many phone calls from her to him and I see that being hard to cover-up. Not that he doesn't seem like a jack-hole, but she was hanging out, presumptively alone (or at least without the gf) in such a situation that she could "easily climb into a car with him." He already knew, I think way before that point, that she was "that type of girl." The type of girl who will hang out with another girl's boyfriend with whom she has at least some sexual attraction knowingly (this is not a comment on the sex part, more a comment on the his opinion of her part).
While informing a sexual partner of a pregnancy scare can be a good thing, for all the reasons Dan lists (bullet flying by), I think that's something this girl doesn't need to hear. What she wants is this guy to talk to her again, she wants closure, and maybe to drive a wedge between him and the girlfriend (assuming she's still in the picture). He obviously wants nothing more to do with her, maybe because once he had sex with her the fun was over, maybe because he feels bad about it, maybe because the gf caught on and he wants to move on from it. Maybe he's just a douche. But the best thing for her to do right now is to forget it, forget him, and not keep running after him for attention. She is not pregnant, and, from what we know in the letter, hasn't contracted any STDs, it's time to just let that go.
Apr 13, 2011 divine_miss_em commented on SL Letter of the Day: Have At It, Gang.
Having a 15-year-old girl in the not too distant past, I will say, the way she behaved isn't that unlikely, and certainly isn't socio-psycho-pathic. She behaved like a teenager. She is likely full of convictions (half-baked or not), full of ego, with little empathy towards those who cross the lines of her convictions. It's like Cather In The Rye, adults are phonies and hypocrites, they should be called out for breaking the moral codes in society that they have set out. Now, from where I am now, it is a completely malicious act, but she's 15, and I could have told you how that was going to go down. She sent it to the people she sent it too possibly to receive validation that her dad was being a lying bastard.
That said, let mom punish her how she sees fit, agreeing with others, and judging from your letter, you have no real interest in punishing her for snooping, so much as punishing her for exposing you, which makes a big difference.
Also, as someone said earlier, leaving a record of such sensitive information on a computer easily accessed by ANYONE else is kind of saying that you don't really care about being caught. You slipped, and stopped being careful, either because you thought you never would get caught, or you didn't care if you did. Maybe you thought your wife would find it, I'm pretty sure you thought it wouldn't happen like this, but it did, so now you actually have to deal with the consequences.