commented on Savage Love
DUD, you can also couch the safe sex convo in these terms- "I don't trust the schools to give you a comprehensive education on this stuff, so we're going to have an uncomfortable conversation right now but it will be vital to you and your friend's health. And because your friends might not get this same education and might end up having questions or confiding in you one day, I'm going to tell you how both opposite and same sex couples can be safe, so you have the information for yourself and anyone in your life who you want to be safe too."
Mar 9, 2012
commented on SL Letter of the Day: Minor Dispute
@ankylosaur- You seem to be arguing that an ideal sexual relationship (healthy, happy, consensual) could indeed exist between a minor/child and an adult. I believe that is entirely possible- in an ideal world. However, we do not live in such, and while some of the aspects that are less than ideal can be addressed and improved, other very practical ones cannot.
It’s hard to argue against healthy, happy, consensual sex activities. However, if society made a “space” for these kinds of activities/relationships, it would not stop child abuse from taking place. And unfortunately, creating a “gray area” where in some contexts (healthy, happy, consensual) sex acts with young people are ok while in other other contexts (unhealthy, coercion) they are not may only make distinguishing the two harder. How do we tell the difference between a child who has consented and one who has been coerced? Can you imagine a child at their rape trial hearing arguments that they asked for it, or that they were willing then but are lying now? I am not willing to put a child through that horror just to make some "actually ok" sex acts (happy, healthy, consensual) legally ok (all adults & minors).
Teaching a child good sexual and self preservation habits still does nothing to address the power imbalance that is inherent in all adult/child relationships. Maybe this child would be empowered to say no, and then report it if the worst happened, but then the child would somehow have to prove that the rape/molestation (as opposed to a consensual act or nothing at all) occurred. Taking the hard line against any and all sex acts with minors removes this problem. And because the bottom line is that there is absolutely no need for minors and adults to engage in sex acts together, both can do without and stick with age-similar partners.
Of course the ideal of happy healthy sex acts between any consenting partners is better than our current system which does punish and cause harm to those who don’t deserve it. But when you take that ideal and try and enact it in the real world you find it is bound to another ideal- that the difference between consensual and coerced sex acts would be as plain as day and night and visible to all so there would never be any question whether someone had indeed been assaulted or not. That second ideal can never be realized, so we do what we can with our imperfect system to minimize pain. Which pain is greater, that adults and minors have to avoid sexual relations with each other, or that a child might be raped and then further harassed through a trial and then may or may not ever be believed or have justice? My personal answer to that question is “protect the kids, everyone (kids & adults) can get their rocks off another way”.
Apr 20, 2011
commented on Savage Love
sooo sick of how it seems like so many fetishes are immediately linked to mental/familial issues. lactating fetish = mommy issues? give me a break
Jan 31, 2011
commented on Dept. of Stopped Clocks
My two cents:
A) this commercial perpetuates the "men in drag" misconception about transpeople at a time when so many people still don't even know that it's a misconception. When it opens with "I'm a dude who...", that's just plain wrong. It is hard for me to conceive of a transitioning transexual who would refer to theirself by the wrong gender.
B) for those who are saying that the skit is making fun of awkward commercials, why does so much of the humor of the skit revolve around the appearance of the transexuals? why didn't they feminize their male actors or use before&after shots in which the transexuals actually transitioned into feminine appearing women? they didn't do that because if they did then the skit would actually look like just a proper commercial for a new kind of hormone therapy. watch it again, only imagine the actors looking like women instead of men in drag. suddenly there's no more humor and its just a commercial about hormones! so yes, this skit was entirely about making fun of the appearance of transexuals