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Jan 25, 2015 chicago girl commented on SL Letter of the Day: Closure.
uncreative, assault requires intent, by definition. Since the LW and her boyfriend were underage, it wasn't technically legal for them to be engaging in sexual activity, but they were the same age and both consented to making out, so neither was assaulting the other. She was not aware of exactly what was happening until after, which was understandably upsetting, but she wasn't assaulted because no one intended to harm her. The getting-hit-by-a-car analogy doesn't really work here, either; it's much too extreme an example.

I've been sexually assaulted, both as a child and an adult, and I'm not minimizing her trauma (I've also been in a car accident has caused by someone else that has given me ongoing pain for years, for what it's worth). But her suffering is a very extreme reaction to what happened, and what she desperately needs is therapy. If the guy is nice, he'll apologize to her, but I'd bet he'll also be upset and deeply confused (and maybe need therapy for himself) to learn that what happened that day damaged this girl so badly.

I do think that the LW's anguish over this suggests that there's a lot more going on with her than just this incident, and she needs help.
Jan 22, 2015 chicago girl commented on SL Letter of the Day: Closure.
Obviously, this girl is traumatized, and her trauma is genuine. However, she has blown this incident wildly out of proportion and it's hurting her. She had an experience where she found out after the fact that she'd engaged in heavier sexual contact than she'd intended, which was understandably upsetting for her. But it wasn't the guy's fault - he was probably mortified by the incident - and the way she's allowing this to intrude on her life as an adult is unhealthy.

The fact that she mentions police and rape shows just how much power she's given this incident - she actually wants this guy to apologize for this, which (based on the way she relates the story) is incredibly inappropriate. It's unfortunate that she's suffered so much over this, but seven years after the fact, it's time for her to let go of this, and stop blaming this guy for her trauma. It's much likelier that it's her upbringing that's really to blame for this, and she needs to get some therapy and get to the bottom of it. If she's suffering this much over this incident, there's got to be a ton of other issues damaging other parts of her life. I think her need for an apology over something like this shows that she might be focusing on a minor trauma because the bigger ones are too painful.
Jan 8, 2015 chicago girl commented on John Kerry Addresses the French People.
The grammar was sound, and I don't think anyone expects the American Secretary of State to speak French like a damn Parisian. It's really lovely that he did this. I always remember Le Monde's headline after 9/11 - aujourd'hui nous sommes tous Americaines - as the most simple and beautiful expression of sympathy and support I've seen in this sort of context. It's nice to see Kerry responding in that vein.
Dec 17, 2014 chicago girl commented on "Rape Exceptionalism" and Protecting Law Students from "Triggers".
@36, Oh holy mother of god do you suck. There's no liberal cannibalism happening here, just some discussion.
Dec 17, 2014 chicago girl commented on "Rape Exceptionalism" and Protecting Law Students from "Triggers".
@25, as someone who has been raped, I don't think the idea of defending a rapist in a law school class exercise is beyond the pale. It actually sounds like a good exercise; no matter what may have happened to them in the past, any lawyer needs to understand and respect every defendant's right to good counsel, and mock courtroom exercises are a good way of teaching that. It sounds like the woman in @11's class did a good job of overcoming whatever discomfort she had, and it was probably a very good learning experience.

Obviously, any reasonable professor would excuse someone from an exercise like that. A student wouldn't need to offer specifics, just explain that it made them uncomfortable. But if you're going to go to fucking law school, learning the law should be a priority. If you're too fragile for your coursework, take some time off and get more therapy. Or just accept that something is going to be painful and get through it anyway. Letting triggers control your life is just plain stupid.

@33, very well said.
Dec 13, 2014 chicago girl commented on Savage Love.
@uncreative, before reading this thread the concept of "agender" was such a head-scratcher that I never made any effort to understand it. Thank you for taking the time to share your experience here; I still can't quite imagine what it feels like to be agender, but you've explained it so clearly that I understand the concept now. It's very kind of you to share so much about yourself here, and I appreciate it.
Dec 9, 2014 chicago girl commented on SL Letter of the Day: Short and Long.
@2 FTW.
Dec 2, 2014 chicago girl commented on SL Letter of the Day: His Pace, His Rules, His BS.
RUN. You're 22, take this as a learning experience and never speak to this asshole again. Don't try and fix a relationship with someone who blames every disagreement on you; anyone who does that is a dishonest prick. Just take the lessons you learned here - about your own behavior and about how it's acceptable for others to treat you - and enjoy the rest of your life.
Dec 2, 2014 chicago girl commented on Hey, Straight Men! Stop Having Gay Sex with Your Wives and Girlfriends!.
@25, we know about that already, so you're not giving us breaking news. Unfortunately, gay rights activists can be terrible people, the same as anyone else. Since this is only one gay rights activist we're talking about, it would be premature to tar all of them with the same brush.
Nov 27, 2014 chicago girl commented on Cops Shoot 12-Year-Old Boy Who Was Holding a Toy Gun—At a Playground.
@27, his behavior was out of line, but he's a kid. And the police - if the video is anything to go by - shot him fucking immediately after they pulled up just a few feet away from him. At that moment he wasn't pointing it at anyone; it doesn't look like there was anyone around. No shots had been fired. In that situation, you ask someone to put the gun down and give them an opportunity to do so. The kid's behavior was provocative, but they were still way out of line. A lot of blame falls on the dispatcher, who at a minimum should be fired for neglecting to tell the officers that the person who called it in thought the gun might very well be a toy, but the cops still overreacted.