Would love to see you again. My performance that night wasn't great, I realize, but I'd never had sex in a car or in a semi-public place before. Obviously not my thing. Never had that problem in a bedroom—it would be great if you gave me a chance to prove it. If things are too stressful for you right now, or if you're not interested, no worries. Hope our paths cross again sometime regardless.
Jesus Christ, No. Don't say that unless you're in 7th grade.
I generally agree with Dan, but this is definitely
one of those times where his total lack of experience with women is pretty apparent. Send this godawfully long, clingy, self-conscious, overly self-deprecating, way too forced text message if you want to for sure have your phone number blocked. Kiss of death for sure.