Apr 26 Chase commented on Savage Love.
Polyamory can be great when it works for all concerned, but frequently it's a self-righteous, passive-aggressive way for assholes to make their partners take the blame for their own selfishness.

I'm in agreement with the general consensus: there's a huge difference between "I want to have an affair but you can't object because it's just an expression of my infinite capacity for love" and "I think it would be fun for us to explore some additional sexual or romantic relationships, what do you think?"

The most important question for HUSBAND - far more important than any of Minx's questions - is "what do YOU really want?"
Apr 21 Chase commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Open Relationships Can Work (But This One Doesn't).
as the pain subsides you'll be able to recall the good times and personal growth

When the end of a relationship turns ugly (and let's face it, the ugly ones are by far the most common), it's not unusual to find that the good memories on your relationship hard drive have been overwritten and no longer exist in their original form.
Apr 12 Chase commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: How Soon Should He Bring Up His DUIs?.
Like most subjects that are potentially uncomfortable but not likely to be dealbreakers*, you can probably wait to bring it up at the point in conversation where it would be suspicious if you didn't bring it up. Like, when you're drinking at a bar and your date asks if you're okay to drive them home. Or they mention that they think driving drunk should be punished by a year in jail (as it is in Sweden).

* potential dealbreakers should be brought up before you have sex, or before you get romantically involved, depending.
Mar 29 Chase commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: PrEP and Prejudice.
Can we stop with the trying to make people feel guilty for not wanting to have sex with people they don't want to have sex with? Point out errors of fact or logic if you like, but drop it after that (like Mr. Grindr had the sense to do). Even if their reasons are irrational, it's their choice not yours, and pressuring them on it is creepy.
Mar 21 Chase commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: A Tale of Two Colleagues (She's Humping).
Having sex with A wasn't cheating, but that's not going to make coffee breaks any less awkward, especially since B clearly isn't in a place of "hey, that's cool, I'm happy to fuck someone else for a bit too".
Mar 21 Chase commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: A Tale of Two Colleagues (She's Humping).
Or maybe just stay the fuck away from Colleague B, because I doubt her reaction to "hey, so I'm sorry about that little breaking up with you and breaking your heart thing and I'd really like to get back together, but in the meantime I've been boning our mutual colleague A, just FYI, but that doesn't have to get in the way of us, right my love?" is going to be a positive one.

Then again, you should totally tell her, this might be just the thing she need to finally put you behind her once and for all and move the fuck on. She'll be grateful in the long run.
Mar 9 Chase commented on Savage Love.
@3: And here we have a rare example of someone blind to bisexual privilege.

@15, 20: Oh, no, here it is again.

@37: And still at it.

Not all straight men like women with penises. Not all straight men like flat-chested women, or tattooed women. But a straight man who likes flat-chested women or tattooed women is just as straight as a straight man who doesn't. The same goes when trans women are the subset of women in question.

Very few completely straight men like penises other than their own. There's a huge difference between having small breasts (a secondary sex characteristic), or having tattoos (not a sex trait at all), and having a penis (a primary sex characteristic). It is a completely specious analogy. But perhaps that's like explaining the difference between red and green to a colorblind person.

I'm heterosexual and male. That doesn't mean I'm attracted to anyone who wears a dress and lipstick. It means I'm attracted to people who have boobs and vaginas and, yes, XX chromosomes (as in, someone who has been under a lifetime regimen of high estrogen and low testosterone and has fully functional female genitalia). If someone with a penis wants to have sex with me, I am categorically not interested. That doesn't mean I'm transphobic, any more than it means I'm homophobic - it just means I am heterosexual. There's nothing unusual about this, in fact it's extremely common.

If you happen to be one of the people who doesn't care what sort of genitalia your sex partners have, bully for you - that means you have a broader dating pool than I do. But you don't get to tell me what I'm allowed to be attracted to, and you don't get to redefine the term heterosexual to suit your own agenda, especially since you yourself are not heterosexual.

If someone with a penis who has sex with someone else with a penis and enjoys it chooses to identify as strictly heterosexual, that's their prerogative, but plenty of people would not agree with them, for perfectly good reasons. They wouldn't be a Kinsey zero, by definition.

@21: Oh good, a dose of sanity.
Feb 16 Chase commented on Rachel Maddow: Something's Up Between Jill Stein & Putin.
@24: It's a lot easier to blame Clinton's loss on a big conspiracy between the Russians and the Greens (and the FBI, the Bernie Bros, etc) rather than examine things that could've been helped like Clinton's failure to campaign in Wisconsin or Michigan or rural Pennsylvania, the fact that Obama was playing golf the Saturday before the election because the campaign hadn't scheduled him to do anything, the fact that the campaign ignored operatives in Michigan and elsewhere who were warning them that they were in trouble, the fact that the DNC spent millions of dollars on GOTV in Chicago and New Orleans simply because they were afraid of losing the popular vote, or Clinton's failure to come up with a coherent message beyond "it's my turn", "I'm a woman", and "thank God I'm not Trump".

Clinton lost 10 times as many 2012 votes as Stein gained in Wisconsin. And people keep conveniently forgetting that Johnson was running too, about 3x stronger than Stein and pulling votes away from Trump. But I guarantee you we're never going to see Dan address that because hey, fuck reality, let's blame the Greens again for our own failings. The Russians may have done some shady shit, but they didn't make the Clinton campaign act like a bunch of arrogant morons.

How Clinton lost Michigan — and blew the…
Feb 15 Chase commented on Savage Love.
@19: it would be "taking—or rather, not taking—many for the team". And yeah, agreed agreed agreed.
Feb 15 Chase commented on Savage Love.
"Kink apps"? Which ones? If Dan is referring to Fetlife, it's neither an app nor particularly useful for dating. I assume there must be other options I'm not aware of? (AFF, also not an app but also seems more for swingers than kinksters).