Mar 21 Chase commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: A Tale of Two Colleagues (She's Humping).
Having sex with A wasn't cheating, but that's not going to make coffee breaks any less awkward, especially since B clearly isn't in a place of "hey, that's cool, I'm happy to fuck someone else for a bit too".
Mar 21 Chase commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: A Tale of Two Colleagues (She's Humping).
Or maybe just stay the fuck away from Colleague B, because I doubt her reaction to "hey, so I'm sorry about that little breaking up with you and breaking your heart thing and I'd really like to get back together, but in the meantime I've been boning our mutual colleague A, just FYI, but that doesn't have to get in the way of us, right my love?" is going to be a positive one.

Then again, you should totally tell her, this might be just the thing she need to finally put you behind her once and for all and move the fuck on. She'll be grateful in the long run.
Mar 9 Chase commented on Savage Love.
@3: And here we have a rare example of someone blind to bisexual privilege.

@15, 20: Oh, no, here it is again.

@37: And still at it.

Not all straight men like women with penises. Not all straight men like flat-chested women, or tattooed women. But a straight man who likes flat-chested women or tattooed women is just as straight as a straight man who doesn't. The same goes when trans women are the subset of women in question.

Very few completely straight men like penises other than their own. There's a huge difference between having small breasts (a secondary sex characteristic), or having tattoos (not a sex trait at all), and having a penis (a primary sex characteristic). It is a completely specious analogy. But perhaps that's like explaining the difference between red and green to a colorblind person.

I'm heterosexual and male. That doesn't mean I'm attracted to anyone who wears a dress and lipstick. It means I'm attracted to people who have boobs and vaginas and, yes, XX chromosomes (as in, someone who has been under a lifetime regimen of high estrogen and low testosterone and has fully functional female genitalia). If someone with a penis wants to have sex with me, I am categorically not interested. That doesn't mean I'm transphobic, any more than it means I'm homophobic - it just means I am heterosexual. There's nothing unusual about this, in fact it's extremely common.

If you happen to be one of the people who doesn't care what sort of genitalia your sex partners have, bully for you - that means you have a broader dating pool than I do. But you don't get to tell me what I'm allowed to be attracted to, and you don't get to redefine the term heterosexual to suit your own agenda, especially since you yourself are not heterosexual.

If someone with a penis who has sex with someone else with a penis and enjoys it chooses to identify as strictly heterosexual, that's their prerogative, but plenty of people would not agree with them, for perfectly good reasons. They wouldn't be a Kinsey zero, by definition.

@21: Oh good, a dose of sanity.
Feb 16 Chase commented on Rachel Maddow: Something's Up Between Jill Stein & Putin.
@24: It's a lot easier to blame Clinton's loss on a big conspiracy between the Russians and the Greens (and the FBI, the Bernie Bros, etc) rather than examine things that could've been helped like Clinton's failure to campaign in Wisconsin or Michigan or rural Pennsylvania, the fact that Obama was playing golf the Saturday before the election because the campaign hadn't scheduled him to do anything, the fact that the campaign ignored operatives in Michigan and elsewhere who were warning them that they were in trouble, the fact that the DNC spent millions of dollars on GOTV in Chicago and New Orleans simply because they were afraid of losing the popular vote, or Clinton's failure to come up with a coherent message beyond "it's my turn", "I'm a woman", and "thank God I'm not Trump".

Clinton lost 10 times as many 2012 votes as Stein gained in Wisconsin. And people keep conveniently forgetting that Johnson was running too, about 3x stronger than Stein and pulling votes away from Trump. But I guarantee you we're never going to see Dan address that because hey, fuck reality, let's blame the Greens again for our own failings. The Russians may have done some shady shit, but they didn't make the Clinton campaign act like a bunch of arrogant morons.

How Clinton lost Michigan — and blew the…
Feb 15 Chase commented on Savage Love.
@19: it would be "taking—or rather, not taking—many for the team". And yeah, agreed agreed agreed.
Feb 15 Chase commented on Savage Love.
"Kink apps"? Which ones? If Dan is referring to Fetlife, it's neither an app nor particularly useful for dating. I assume there must be other options I'm not aware of? (AFF, also not an app but also seems more for swingers than kinksters).
Feb 14 Chase commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Facebook Stalking Pharmacist Questions His Ethics.
If someone who had seen my private medical information - name, home address, prescriptions - started trying to hit on me outside of work (in person or online, doesn't matter), I would call the fucking police and get a restraining order immediately. Even in the most innocent case, they've already proven themselves to be terrible at basic boundary management.
Feb 14 Chase commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Facebook Stalking Pharmacist Questions His Ethics.
There's this really adorable guy I've been following around my neighborhood. I just want to cut his cute little body up and keep it in my freezer so I can savor eating up every little bit. What is the protocol here?
Jan 7 Chase commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Snooper Boyfriend Keeps Snooping Through Passed Out Girlfriend's Phone.
BiDanFan got it @31 and nocutename got it @38. (I like the fish analogy. And the banana.)

Non-monogamy seems to work fine for many gay male couples, enough that it might even be more commonly practiced than monogamy. Apparently it works well for Dan (or he's trying really hard to convince himself - or Terry - that it does). But most people in the world at large aren't comfortable with the idea of a non-monogamous relationship, by temperament or otherwise, just as the majority of people wouldn't be comfortable with exchanging their heterosexual relationship for a homosexual relationship. Suggesting that an unusual solution that worked for you is likely to work for people who are different from you, in a different situation than yours, is bizarrely unhelpful.

Some non-monogamous people do seem to be color blind when it comes to monogamy. "Good communication and emotional support" *are* important - does texting a potential hookup while pretending to be monogamous, stonewalling, rejecting your partner sexually, failing to initiate yourself, and complaining about lack of sex indicate that either of those things is remotely present? No. Nor does snooping in your partner's phone or trying to catch them in the act of cheating. Non-monogamy is almost never the magic bullet for a situation like this - instead it's much more likely to turn the drama up to 11.

There's far better advice given in almost every comment in this thread. My guess is that usedtobeotter2 @5 is right: she's trying to get him to end it for her, in which case he should take the hint and GTFO. But I'm more curious about Dan's problem than the LW's. Is he feeling ornery? Is he fed up with answering questions that have obvious answers? Is he posting drunk again? Is he trolling the commenters here? Is he unhappy in his personal life? Does he need a sabbatical? Or is he just broken by the Cheetoh Nazi? I'm going to assume he was just being a smartass since this relationship sounds pretty unsalvageable. So I responded in kind.

(If you're trying to read my comment as homophobic, you may be projecting, you aren't paying attention, or you're looking for enemies you don't have.)
Jan 6 Chase commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Snooper Boyfriend Keeps Snooping Through Passed Out Girlfriend's Phone.
I mean, I've seen Dan give worse advice, but only about politics.