Achieve the Four Modernizations.

Jul 16 Chase commented on Child Rape, Inc.—Still Open For Business!.
It's amazing how a few fairytales can fend off RICO.
Jul 15 Chase commented on Savage Love.
One of the nasty things about abusive relationships is that they can sneak up on you, even if you normally have good self-esteem. There are lots of messages out there about the importance of compromise and tolerating some degree of conflict and not pricing yourself out of the market by being too "demanding", and if you accommodate and compromise enough, you may find that one day you wake up and "an endless cycle of wrongs committed, apologies offered, and forgiveness granted" has turned into being taken advantage of by someone who sees every inch as a mile.
Jul 14 Chase commented on Savage Love.
@7 (and ensuing discussion): Is it possible part of the problem may be found here? "Either they have no respect for me and are boring, albeit hot, or they have great conversation, are intimidated by me, and refuse to really bring it."

Men who don't respect you are more likely to pursue you, because they're less likely to be concerned about your objections/disinterest/boundaries. Men who *do* respect you have probably been trained to be circumspect by years of listening to their female friends complain about pushy guys (ie the first group). Finding guys who are savvy enough to thread the difference is understandably challenging, especially if they're feeling (as you are) burned out on the whole dance. Those that can negotiate the terrain are of course the ones most likely to be partnered or nonmonogamous (or both). If they're still single after 40, there's a good chance it's because they either want to be or because they've been burned along the way - as EricaP says, they're tired of wearing the pants too. Expecting them to not only read the smoke signals correctly but also take the initiative (and the risk of rejection) is a pretty big ask. I don't know you or your situation, but my guess is there's going to have to be some mutual pants-wearing.

(I'm assuming that eastcoastlibrarian @7 is female; most of those who identify with the comment have been.)
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Jul 11 Chase commented on SL Letter of the Day: Nothing to Lose.
@4: treehugger is a bot who's been programmed to post like a braindamaged left-wing stereotype.
Jul 11 Chase commented on SL Letter of the Day: Nothing to Lose.
They met ONCE. Months ago. They live in different time zones and have never made any kind of relationship agreement - in fact, since CAM never mentions it, it's unlikely that they've ever even discussed it. Jumping to conclusions about this guy's behavior or obligations based on one encounter (even if it lasted a week, though she never says) seems pretty out of line on the part of both Dan and CAM.

If she doesn't want to give him the milk for free then she shouldn't - and she should talk to him about how each of them would like things to go from here - but I think "hey, how do you feel about what's going on between us?" is a much more constructive approach than "hey, I want you to stop viewing other cam girls when I'm online", which I think most people would reasonably view as weird and controlling. From someone who, let's remember, is NOT his girlfriend.
Jul 8 Chase commented on Why Are Conservatives Fighting Contraception?.
@20: Seattleblues is a pedophile.

@29: I view drone killings as mass murder and the invasion of Iraq as genocide, and unlike Hobby Lobby my opinions have some factual merit. I'm still waiting for the Supreme Cronies to recognize my right to opt out of paying for American imperialism.
Jul 8 Chase commented on Why Are Conservatives Fighting Contraception?.
Ah, the oldest conservative value: hatred of sex.

I've never understood what was so terrible about having sex for pleasure. It takes a special kind of misery to hate other people for enjoying life.
Jul 8 Chase commented on SL Letter of the Day: Call the Open Question.
It's pretty common in opening-the-relationship discussions for one partner to be gung-ho until they realize the other partner is also on board. Wouldn't surprise me if she suddenly discovered she had a double standard.
Jul 7 Chase commented on SL Letter of the Day: Call the Open Question.
I think his mistake was that he didn't respond with, "what do you mean maybe this isn't the right time - why not? When would be the right time?" They clearly need to discuss it further.
Jul 2 Chase commented on SL Letter of the Day: If Not Unicorns Then What?.
First world problems. If the unicorn-hater really finds "no shortage of women to have threesomes with", his life must be a living hell. Cry me a fucking ocean.
 
 

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