Jul 9 smoakes commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Can I Book a Session With My Friend The Sex Worker?.
I'd be squicked out be this. It seems to me like he's saying, "you considered fucking me for free and decided you weren't into it. So now I'd like to pay you to fuck me, even though I'll know the whole time that you are absolutely not into it."
I mean, of course one always knows that a sex worker is doing it for the money rather than for lust. But in this case, he'd really really KNOW it. I can't imagine wanting to fuck someone, especially a friend, knowing that they were not into it at all.
It reminds me of years ago when a friend became a stripper, and a bunch of mutual guy friends started going to see her dance. These were all guys who shed turned down dates with, but now they got to see her naked anyway and she couldn't stop them. She said it bothered her 1000x more than the most lecherous strangers. She finally quit that club and went to a different one, and tried to keep anyone from finding out where.
Of course this woman has the option of saying no, but I have a hard time imagining a friendship lasting through, "I know you don't want to fuck me just cause you like me, but, well, how hard up are you for cash?"
More...
Feb 27 smoakes commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: The Box Under the Bed.
Yeah if she stays friends with that guy, dollars to donuts within the year he's going to be telling her that refusing to have sex with him is actually very sex negative, and also not exactly feminist.
Sep 1, 2015 smoakes commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Say the Right Thing.
So here's a question, what should we say when someone comes out to us? I mean, obviously we express love and support but what, literally, should be the first words that come out of our mouths? I have a lot of gay family members on my dad's side, but I don't think any of them ever came out to me personally; I just sort of. grew up knowing or found out when someone showed up to a wedding with their date. Same with my friends; they're just gay, they were out long before I knew them. .On my mom's side though it would be considered a fairly big deal by a lot of my relatives and if one of my cousins was gay I bet they'd choose me to come out to and I'm genuinely not sure what should be my first word.s. I'd probably be thinking something long the lines of "oh ok. Can I have some of your French fries?" But I know it would be a big deal to them so I'd. want to be supportive... I guess I could tell them I'm bi but should I start with that, seems like I'd be stealing their thunder. So, seriously, dialogue suggestions, please.
Jan 30, 2015 smoakes commented on SL Letter of the Day: Betrayal and Ball Ache.
"I don't want a kid, but I want to have sex and come inside you and I don't want to wear a condom or get a vasectomy. Instead, I want to rely on a notoriously unreliable form of birth control that is a great deal of work for you, that is easy to get wrong and sometimes doesn't work even if you get it all right, and if you do get pregnant I will hate you for it."
Of course, to be fair, a guy with this attitude would certainly never get me pregnant, so maybe he's onto something,
Jan 8, 2015 smoakes commented on SL Letter of the Day: Pro-Love, Pro-Human, Pro-Reality.
I'd find "there's a chance you might find someone, and you can be happy even if you don't" much, much more comforting than "you'll definitely find someone," because I'd know the latter was bullshit...
Dec 11, 2014 smoakes commented on SL Letter of the Day: Some Ladies Hate Their Labia—And That's Okay—Plus ALL CAPS Oral Rage!.
Female genitalia is odd-looking??? COMPARED TO WHAT???
Jul 2, 2014 smoakes commented on SL Letter of the Day: If Not Unicorns Then What?.
I wish the term unicorn had been around back when I was one... I think it would have made me a lot less willing to put up with bullcrap if I'd realized how rare and magical I was.
Mar 7, 2014 smoakes commented on SL Letter of the Day: Screamers.
A coworker of mine, a bit of an airhead, once told me angrily, "my neighbors say I'm too loud during sex, and that's none of their business!"
She honestly thought they were saying it was sinful, or improper, or something.
Soooo hard not to laugh.
Feb 10, 2014 smoakes commented on SL Letter of the Day: Seeking Stinky Feet.
Makes me a bit crazy that this guy thinks that liking smelly feet means approaching strange women and asking them to please induldge his kink. Does he think men whose kinks are breasts and vaginas do this?
Feb 10, 2014 smoakes commented on SL Letter of the Day: Seeking Stinky Feet.
12, 22-- I'm like you, I absolutely can't stand to have my feet touched. It's unusual, but not a problem, I don't think... to each their own, right? When I used to online date, I'd occasionally get approached by someone with a foot fetish and I'd let them know quickly and clearly that I wasn't their gal... and send along a picture of my feet in a pair of strappy heels to show I didn't think there was anything wrong with THEM :)