Mama Bear
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Jan 23, 2012 Mama Bear commented on If You Know Your Gay Kid Is Being Brutally Bullied At His School....
Having a transgendered son, I think parents of gay kids also fail to recognize that the stigma and internalization of the bullying is only 100x worse for LGBT kids. Being "different" already starts them out feeling more isolated, less socially supported in any way, and even more like something is "wrong" with them.

I'm 100% supportive of my son, and have helped him identify as male even when at his age he wouldn't have the power to do so. I was raised by two gay dads and am openly bisexual. He has ALL the support, love and acceptance in the world. And my son is STILL very sensitive and easy to become depressed and overwhelmed by his being "other than."

It's simply not a "normal" bullying situation in any way.

Nov 17, 2010 Mama Bear commented on Transgender Day of Remembrance.
Thanks 9 & 12. The sad thing is, even with all the love and support, my son still battles with depression pretty often. All these articles about suicides really hit home.

I don't think that people realize that being a teenager is hard enough (hormones, growing an identity, differentiating from parents, etc), to add LGBT issues to it only magnifies the situation. Then add discrimination on top of all that, and any home/friends/school dynamics.

In the BEST situation we're lucky to have "normal/straight/main-stream/conforming" kids turn out alright and not killing themselves due to stress and emotional issues.

I can't imagine a parent who wouldn't just try to love them through it and hold on tight. That's your baby for goodness sake. I wish I could take in all these teens going through tough times and love them up too!
Nov 17, 2010 Mama Bear commented on Transgender Day of Remembrance.
My youngest is transgendered. When he was around 5-6yrs old, I noticed that my little girl was drawing pictures of herself as male. So, I didn't say anything. I figured we'd ride it out a while and see if it was a phase.

Sure enough, a year later, my foster sister made the transition (female to male) and my youngest decided to announce that he wanted to as well. (I'm still grasping the pronoun usage, particularly in talking about past she/current he.)

At any rate, he's only 14yrs old now. But I figure after so many years of very consistently announcing to the world that he is a boy, I should get over my dreams of a pink frilly daughter. ;)

He's changed his identity at school, even. So I'm trying to re-train my vocabulary to honor his transition. It's harder than I thought. But when you give birth to a girl it can be hard to shift the thinking. Someone said that it wasn't just his transition, it was mine too. That's so true!
Nov 17, 2010 Mama Bear joined My Stranger Face
Nov 17, 2010 Mama Bear commented on School District Employees Call Plan To Cut Family Services "Stupid".
My only issue with Support Services is that their attitude (yes, I've had to bat a few of them down off their pedestals) of being my kids' mother, brother, sister, etc., is that they know how to raise my kid better than I do.

My kid decides not to wear socks to school. I let her see how that feels so she can learn that maybe that doesn't work out so well mid-winter. (Natural consequences are good teachers.)

Family Support Worker gives her socks and acts like I don't care for my kid. THANKS, but my kid has parents, a brother, etc., and doesn't need you to make assumptions because you think you're "helping." My kid proceeded to milk them for everything they would give her, despite my objections and demands that she return everything (because we make WAY too much money for her to be taking things from kids who actually need it).

Add that to several years of the same types of cocky attitude and behavior on their part, and I now have NO PROBLEM with the district getting rid of these people. Perhaps if everyone else would stop trying to raise my kid for me, and without my permission, I wouldn't have my authority constantly undermined. Acting like a fill-in parent is NOT helpful all the time.

If the district would do MORE to get off my toes as a parent, I would be happy to support such plans.
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