Sep 11, 2011
polygrrl commented on Lunchtime Quickie: "Going To The Store".
polygrrl commented on Lunchtime Quickie: "Going To The Store".
Wow! That is the weirdest thing I've seen all day.
I also was admiring the ass, until I realized it wasn't a real person. Then I was creeped out by the fact that I was still admiring the ass.
I also was admiring the ass, until I realized it wasn't a real person. Then I was creeped out by the fact that I was still admiring the ass.
Sep 11, 2011
polygrrl commented on SL Letter of the Day: A Lovely Problem To Have.
polygrrl commented on SL Letter of the Day: A Lovely Problem To Have.
I also get turned on by the thought of my hot husband with someone else. As it turns out, I've been able to find a poly situation that gives me opportunities for this. It works for us. You certainly don't have to act on these fantasies, but you certainly don't have to feel guilty about them, and if your BF is into the possibility (once you bring it up, which you eventually will if you guys last and the fantasy does too), it might be a fun experiment for you both.
Sep 8, 2011
polygrrl commented on Savage Love.
polygrrl commented on Savage Love.
Wow! A little blood in the water and the piranhas go wild!
Personally, I think DARE is a bit narcissistic, but not so much more than most people I've met - he at least seems to be trying to understand himself, and become aware of both the real reasons people react to him and his own motives for doing what he does.
I think he's only beginning to scratch the surface, but I think a lot of people don't even try. He should consider the criticism he has sought here, but not accepting some of it does not automatically mean he is in the wrong. And he does not at all seem to be without empathy, even though he may have a bit of a sadistic streak, what with making some people uncomfortable on purpose (at least he's aware he's doing it though, and has some remorse! How many people do it who aren't even conscious of it?)
I think he needs to find something constructive to do with his life- a purpose that will give him something to focus on besides himself. Without the need to earn a living or be responsible for someone else, most of us would become a bit narcissistic, especially if a lot of people found us attractive physically, because we'd have too much time to think about ourselves.
DARE, go find something you believe in in this world. Get a cause that will let you use your energy for something besides navel gazing and pleasure-chasing. You'll feel better. And you'll hopefully do others some good as well.
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Personally, I think DARE is a bit narcissistic, but not so much more than most people I've met - he at least seems to be trying to understand himself, and become aware of both the real reasons people react to him and his own motives for doing what he does.
I think he's only beginning to scratch the surface, but I think a lot of people don't even try. He should consider the criticism he has sought here, but not accepting some of it does not automatically mean he is in the wrong. And he does not at all seem to be without empathy, even though he may have a bit of a sadistic streak, what with making some people uncomfortable on purpose (at least he's aware he's doing it though, and has some remorse! How many people do it who aren't even conscious of it?)
I think he needs to find something constructive to do with his life- a purpose that will give him something to focus on besides himself. Without the need to earn a living or be responsible for someone else, most of us would become a bit narcissistic, especially if a lot of people found us attractive physically, because we'd have too much time to think about ourselves.
DARE, go find something you believe in in this world. Get a cause that will let you use your energy for something besides navel gazing and pleasure-chasing. You'll feel better. And you'll hopefully do others some good as well.
Sep 8, 2011
polygrrl commented on Control Tower.
polygrrl commented on Control Tower.
Great column! I've been a fan of your work for a while now, Matisse.
For people looking to find other bdsm play/relationship partners, I've been checking out www.collarme.com. There seem to be some fakes and weirdos, which is probably to be expected, but there are also a lot of really interesting (and some really hot!) people. Most are very specific about what they want, and for some asexual BDSM is just that.
For people looking to find other bdsm play/relationship partners, I've been checking out www.collarme.com. There seem to be some fakes and weirdos, which is probably to be expected, but there are also a lot of really interesting (and some really hot!) people. Most are very specific about what they want, and for some asexual BDSM is just that.
Aug 5, 2011
polygrrl commented on When Bikram Goes Badly.
polygrrl commented on When Bikram Goes Badly.
I don't know what toxins leave the body during hot yoga, but I do know that I feel completely different after I do it, and that the yoga teacher's response on the thread matches my own experiences, as well as those of many other people I've spoken with. Also, hot yoga classes are always harder for me when I've become more toxified (read: been drinking a lot lately, or eating more junky food than normal).
Personally, I'd recommend both yoga and weight training, it doesn't have to be one or the other.
@56, I agree that just going off of a faith-based point of view is naive and childish, but it's equally belief-centric to assume the position that science has somehow got all the answers. You're not presenting a logical case either, just spouted a single unsubstantiated "fact" about hives. And the fact that you are so reactive to this thread shows that a button has gotten pushed, obviously - why? That should be interesting to you, because your reaction is over-blown, which means this whole conversation is emotional for you, not mental. It means there's something you're not seeing about yourself.
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Personally, I'd recommend both yoga and weight training, it doesn't have to be one or the other.
@56, I agree that just going off of a faith-based point of view is naive and childish, but it's equally belief-centric to assume the position that science has somehow got all the answers. You're not presenting a logical case either, just spouted a single unsubstantiated "fact" about hives. And the fact that you are so reactive to this thread shows that a button has gotten pushed, obviously - why? That should be interesting to you, because your reaction is over-blown, which means this whole conversation is emotional for you, not mental. It means there's something you're not seeing about yourself.
Aug 5, 2011
polygrrl commented on SL Letter of the Day: Power Running Low.
polygrrl commented on SL Letter of the Day: Power Running Low.
I agree that you should not fuck him. Not just because you might get caught, but because it will change the relatonship you have with your husband. And I don't believe that one afternoon will do the trick anyway - the guy is too accessible, you already know the sex is good, the chances that you'd keep it up are really high once that boundary is crossed.
I also agree that you can't be friends with this guy, not even a little bit. And that you need to take the edge off the obsession by making it no longer hidden and secret - you really should tell your husband, in the kindest way possible, which I wouldn't think includes showing him your Savage Love letter.
I also like the suggestion of focusing on things that are unattractive about him. That one has really helped me a time or two, to dampen the passion a bit in inappropriate situations.
I also agree that you can't be friends with this guy, not even a little bit. And that you need to take the edge off the obsession by making it no longer hidden and secret - you really should tell your husband, in the kindest way possible, which I wouldn't think includes showing him your Savage Love letter.
I also like the suggestion of focusing on things that are unattractive about him. That one has really helped me a time or two, to dampen the passion a bit in inappropriate situations.
Aug 4, 2011
polygrrl commented on SL Letter of the Day: Name That Poon.
polygrrl commented on SL Letter of the Day: Name That Poon.
I use pussy and sometimes cunt, and I like it that they make me feel dirty ;)
But I had kind of forgotten about some other fun ones like cooch, cunny, and punani. Fun thread!
Have to agree with almost everyone here that vaclabia combines the words I already like the least, making them even worse. But it's clearly a very personal matter, and should be!
But I had kind of forgotten about some other fun ones like cooch, cunny, and punani. Fun thread!
Have to agree with almost everyone here that vaclabia combines the words I already like the least, making them even worse. But it's clearly a very personal matter, and should be!
Jul 21, 2011
polygrrl commented on Savage Love.
polygrrl commented on Savage Love.
I have been in monogamish relationships and totally understand the dilemma. On the one hand, I didn't want to help perpetuate the illusion that everyone is monogamous. But on the other, revealing the real deal is more info than is really appropriate for most.
It's (ironically!) almost easier to talk about it if you are completely poly, because there are words for it. But, there are often even fewer people that it is comfortable to talk about that with!
I've gotten so tired of being in the closet as a poly person that I've started blogging, anonymously. If anyone wants to check it out, I'm at www.polygrrl.com. Would love to hear your comments.
It's (ironically!) almost easier to talk about it if you are completely poly, because there are words for it. But, there are often even fewer people that it is comfortable to talk about that with!
I've gotten so tired of being in the closet as a poly person that I've started blogging, anonymously. If anyone wants to check it out, I'm at www.polygrrl.com. Would love to hear your comments.
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I do believe its possible to recognize sexual compatible just using intuition, and bodily response. Chemistry can sometimes be felt from across a room, without even meeting or talking to the other person.