Jan 30, 2015 Nate commented on SL Letter of the Day: Betrayal and Ball Ache.
@118 I think the charge you're making is misandry. Feminism =/= misandry, and a misandrist can no more be a feminist than a misogynist.
Jan 30, 2015 Nate commented on SL Letter of the Day: Betrayal and Ball Ache.
Wow, @90: If we're so intent on blaming this guy for his situation and making the wife out to be the REAL victim that we're writing hypothetical strawmen arguments... I think this has run its course. Whether or not you agree with the LW regarding his first issue, the pregnancy, his wife's described actions regarding the vasectomy and after are ABOMINABLE for a spouse. I particularly liked how your hypothetical LW added significantly more "historical detail" than the actual LW so as to make your "comparison" extra-special invalid.

I agree that the rape-analogy people should consider the optics of that. But so should those who have gone out of their way... like WAY out of their way... to make sure the wife is seen as the victim here.
Jan 30, 2015 Nate commented on SL Letter of the Day: Betrayal and Ball Ache.
@79 Yeah, I understand why the rape analogy bothers people in the broad strokes... I may even be bothered by it myself... but I appreciate your response.

My point was two-fold: firstly, watching person B criticize person A (with whom they already agreed) for something they themselves (person B) had done in the same thread was dumb... had to call it out. Sorry.

Second, I wonder if I took the time to sort through some of other deceit themed letters on here with the genders reversed from this one... would I find the same passion for parsing what percentage of victim the LW represented? I tend to think not. That bothers me, maybe not as much as the rape analogy but it still bothers me. People wonder why male victims stay silent, this thread does a pretty good job at showing why, and this guy was just naive with the person he married. As the husband of a male rape victim, this just hits home some. (NO, that was not to make another rape analogy for the dipstick LW... only to illustrate why I care about male victim-blaming.)

Either way, Matt, thanks for your thoughtful opinion, even if I disagree.
Jan 30, 2015 Nate commented on SL Letter of the Day: Betrayal and Ball Ache.
-63 (BiDanFan) "I'm female and I believe having 18+ years of parenthood forced upon you against your will is a violation on an equivalent level to rape. "

-70 (BiDanFan) "But I also agree with @67 about let's please stop the rape analogies. This is the one time out of the three recent instances that you've cried rape analogy where what was done to the LW without consent is in any way at a similar level."

-76 (BiDanFan) "And, since I'm not the one who's victim-blaming in this particular situation, I'm going to back off now before you really piss me off. Again."

Good, because you're not making any sense here. I don't understand why the rape analogy is the focus here. Victim-blaming is bullshit... for rape or anything else. You know, the person you're arguing with knows, and if the genders of the LW's relationship were reversed this thread would look very different.

Aug 13, 2014 Nate commented on People Suck.
I cannot even...

Zelda was herself FANTASTIC in Were the World Mine, not that it's relevant. As someone who has been through having a loved one commit suicide, I cannot imagine even Internet anonymity giving someone the feeling that it's ok to torment someone in Zelda's position.

Dec 4, 2012 Nate commented on Savage Love Episode 319.
@ Nom de Plume "Perhaps "pro-fetus" would be more accurate than "pro-life"? Where was the advocacy for Savita's life? If you were really "pro-life" wouldn't saving one life be better than saving none?"

Honestly, the hand-in-hand conservative capital punishment position is what keeps them from being "pro-life". Even Rome has its head wrapped more firmly around this issue than American evangelicals... and that's fucking saying something.
Nov 30, 2012 Nate commented on Today's Big Gay News Stories.

Today's Big Gay News Stories: There are no big news stories. SCOTUS didn't bother with it... back to the ether with the issue, for whenever they decide to play bait & switch again. This isn't even the first time it's been de facto bumped. Basically, I'll believe it when I see it... until then, I'm not sure continuing to jump at these set dates only to have them yanked without comment over and over again is the wise way to proceed.

But hey, knock yourself out.
Nov 7, 2012 Nate commented on Last Night Was a Big Fucking Deal for LGBT Americans.
@4 It does feel bigger, and last night was an unbelievable achievement. But I'll be the debbie downer and say: I live in Cali, and I still feel outside looking in.

Seriously though, amazing night on so many levels. Congratulations to to the families who got a whole lot closer to equal under the law last night!
Nov 7, 2012 Nate commented on A Big Night for Gay Marriage—and for Equality.
Last night was an amazing night for the LBGT community and the country. I'm so happy, Dan, for you and your family.

I live in CA, unfortunately. Wow, I never thought I'd say that regarding LGBT rights.