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gaga1979
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Nov 29, 2010 gaga1979 commented on Savage Love.
I really agree with the last post by Allen - that I doubt Dan's theory of people eroticizing fears in the case of most fantasies/fetishes (i.e. cuckolding, rape fantasy, etc.) Simply put, there are many common fears that people never morph into erotic notions. However, it makes perfect psychological sense to assume that these types of erotic fantasies or turn-on's have to do with one of two things, either; 1) The guilt they fundamentally hold, and finding a way around their guilt in order to be able to enjoy the act, or 2) That it is simply something that is perceived as "wrong" within our cultural upbringing of sex, and therefore becomes a turn-on because it is outside of the box and allows someone an outlet of being something other than what others (meaning society, family, religion, etc.) have 'told' us to be through the course of our upbringing and the development of our moral framework. By breaking free from those restrictions within sex, which is an easy outlet to do it (versus breaking free through a non-traditional family structure or career choice, etc.), it gives people a way to feel they have control over their own lives and choices - and are not a slave to the society and cultural institutions that were built without their input (meaning before they were even born).

I lived in Sweden for a few years in my early 20's (I am not in my early 30's) and many of these sexual things that are 'taboo' here in the US would be considered totally 'normal' in Sweden and not frowned upon at all by ANY group of people within that society.

I am a well educated and successful woman who owns her own business, holds an MBA, volunteers at the animal shelter; by any account I am a 'normal' person and a productive part of society. However, my boyfriend is huge into cuckolding, and I have a 'sex-friend' that I am allowed to do anything with - either when my bf is there or even when he is not. There are 2 other guys as well that I have sex with on a somewhat regular basis - those are always with my bf present. My bf is an extremely successful and smart guy, incredibly good-looking, unbelievably wealthy and well-educated. His reasons behind liking cuckolding derives from a few levels - he likes that it is considered 'wrong' by our social norms, and therefore turns him on. He likes the idea that other guys want me badly, and get so turned on by me, but that he ultimately 'has' me (we are very much in love and have a perfect relationship on every level, complete honesty, have fun together - all of our friends see us as the perfect couple, although they don't know about our sexual lifestyle bc to be honest they would FLIP and quite certainly judge us for it -- we plan on getting married and having a family one day in the near future - and do not plan on giving up our sexual lifestyle at any point). The biggest thing for him is that he is able to give me everything I want - this is the biggest turn-on for him. Either it be new clothes, a vacation, a car - even a bigger cock or a hotter guy - his whole thing is that he wants to make sure I get everything and anything that I want. This is my first relationship where I had I've done cuckolding, and it is by far the best thing EVER and works sooo well for us! The fact that he wants to make sure I get everything I want - that it turns him on! - even if it is me f-ing an even hotter guy than him (which is hard for us to find!! ha!) - well, in some odd ways, it makes me feel more loved than I have ever felt before! I would totally recommend that anyone who is sexually open enough to try it, do it - but the only way it can work is to be totally 100% honest about everything from the beginning, and to lay down rules from the start. For instance, my bf and I have NO rules except emotions cannot be involved with me and the other guys. I can sleep in the same bed as my main sex-friend, I can do anything sexually with him that I want, as long as I tell my bf about it (usually I do in a sexual way and he gets very turned on by it!). I have my own rules - for instance I won't do anal with anyone but my bf - and if my bf is involved or watching there is no touching between him and the other guy (my bf is straight, but sometimes the other guys try to take it to a whole other level :-)
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Nov 29, 2010 gaga1979 joined My Stranger Face
Nov 29, 2010 gaga1979 commented on Savage Love.
I really agree with the last post by Allen - that I doubt Dan's theory of people eroticizing fears in the case of most fantasies/fetishes (i.e. cuckolding, rape fantasy, etc.) Simply put, there are many common fears that people never morph into erotic notions. However, it makes perfect psychological sense to assume that these types of erotic fantasies or turn-on's have to do with one of two things, either; 1) The guilt they fundamentally hold, and finding a way around their guilt in order to be able to enjoy the act, or 2) That it is simply something that is perceived as "wrong" within our cultural upbringing of sex, and therefore becomes a turn-on because it is outside of the box and allows someone an outlet of being something other than what others (meaning society, family, religion, etc.) have 'told' us to be through the course of our upbringing and the development of our moral framework. By breaking free from those restrictions within sex, which is an easy outlet to do it (versus breaking free through a non-traditional family structure or career choice, etc.), it gives people a way to feel they have control over their own lives and choices - and are not a slave to the society and cultural institutions that were built without their input (meaning before they were even born).

I lived in Sweden for a few years in my early 20's (I am not in my early 30's) and many of these sexual things that are 'taboo' here in the US would be considered totally 'normal' in Sweden and not frowned upon at all by ANY group of people within that society.

I am a well educated and successful woman who owns her own business, holds an MBA, volunteers at the animal shelter; by any account I am a 'normal' person and a productive part of society. However, my boyfriend is huge into cuckolding, and I have a 'sex-friend' that I am allowed to do anything with - either when my bf is there or even when he is not. There are 2 other guys as well that I have sex with on a somewhat regular basis - those are always with my bf present. My bf is an extremely successful and smart guy, incredibly good-looking, unbelievably wealthy and well-educated. His reasons behind liking cuckolding derives from a few levels - he likes that it is considered 'wrong' by our social norms, and therefore turns him on. He likes the idea that other guys want me badly, and get so turned on by me, but that he ultimately 'has' me (we are very much in love and have a perfect relationship on every level, complete honesty, have fun together - all of our friends see us as the perfect couple, although they don't know about our sexual lifestyle bc to be honest they would FLIP and quite certainly judge us for it -- we plan on getting married and having a family one day in the near future - and do not plan on giving up our sexual lifestyle at any point). The biggest thing for him is that he is able to give me everything I want - this is the biggest turn-on for him. Either it be new clothes, a vacation, a car - even a bigger cock or a hotter guy - his whole thing is that he wants to make sure I get everything and anything that I want. This is my first relationship where I had I've done cuckolding, and it is by far the best thing EVER and works sooo well for us! The fact that he wants to make sure I get everything I want - that it turns him on! - even if it is me f-ing an even hotter guy than him (which is hard for us to find!! ha!) - well, in some odd ways, it makes me feel more loved than I have ever felt before! I would totally recommend that anyone who is sexually open enough to try it, do it - but the only way it can work is to be totally 100% honest about everything from the beginning, and to lay down rules from the start. For instance, my bf and I have NO rules except emotions cannot be involved with me and the other guys. I can sleep in the same bed as my main sex-friend, I can do anything sexually with him that I want, as long as I tell my bf about it (usually I do in a sexual way and he gets very turned on by it!). I have my own rules - for instance I won't do anal with anyone but my bf - and if my bf is involved or watching there is no touching between him and the other guy (my bf is straight, but sometimes the other guys try to take it to a whole other level :-)
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