Nov 22, 2012
commented on On Audiobooks vs Regular-Type Books
I looooove my audiobooks, and mostly listen to non-fiction but I don't ever take notes when I'm reading so I guess I can't address your particular concern. I listen primarily when I'm doing projects around the house or when I'm on long road trips. When I had a commute (I work from home now) I used to listen then as well.
Jan 16, 2012
commented on Is Slaughter-Free Milk Realistic?
So even though cows produce huge amounts of greenhouse gasses and everyone is saying that the best thing we can do is reduce demand for beef and dairy, there are people who want to have even more cows -- cows who will never be slaughtered -- just so they can feel better about consuming dairy? Does anyone else think this is terribly wasteful and likely to be worse for the environment?
Personally, I would rather focus on ensuring a better quality of life and less anti-biotic use for cows versus increase the number of herds to appease a few people who aren't seeing the forest for the trees.
Oct 31, 2011
commented on Caution: Sometimes When You Close Your Account at Chase It's Not Actually Closed (How Else Are They Going to Keep Wringing Overdraft Fees Out of You?)
We used to use WAMU which was bought out by Chase. My husband had a similar comedy of (their) errors trying to close his account. I honestly can't remember what the issue was, I think it was something about closing his account but having a monthly fee or something that got applied automatically thus opening the account or something equally stupid. We had to go to the branch twice. I had to go with him to ensure he didn't rip any heads off.
I suspect that it's just easier for them to beg forgiveness with the hope of scamming a few people out of some extra money, than it is to just run their business ethically. We now have our accounts with USAA and so far, no problems at all.
Oct 27, 2011
commented on Life Coach
@Gern Blanston, you might be right that this is fake but the language settings would suggest that the person who captured the screen grab, is not american, it would have nothing to do with the profile being viewed. They don't have a separate facebook for each country.
Sep 13, 2011
commented on SL Letter of the Day: Can He Dump the Bitch(es), Make the Switch?
So HELP, the guy who opens his letter by insulting you, says he "tries not to be an asshole" but he doesn't understand why women don't just chase him around even after he tells them that's what he wants. I don't even comprehend this. So there are these women he's not pursuing who he approaches and says 'I want you to pursue me and then we can sleep together." and when they don't he decides he hates women?
Has HELP considered that while women are just as capable of casual sex and being forward and assertive, they will only do so if they feel some interest in the other person. If he feels putting any effort at all into things is a huge burden, maybe no one's going to find that appealing. Could it be, maybe...just maybe, the common thread in his fantasy isn't other people's second X chromosome, but possibly him?
Let's be honest, though, there's a strong smell of troll here. Absolutely no one who reads this column would ever ask Dan if sexuality is choice.
Aug 2, 2011
commented on SL Letter of the Day: Natural Born Hermi
I agree that monogamy isn't necessarily easy or natural.
But, I don't buy "natural" as a standard for what is right in a relationship, which is good because you know what else isn't at all natural? Pair bonded couples inviting thirds or fourths into their relationships or men who like being cuckolded or women who enjoy dressing up as teddy bears before getting it on.
The truth is that humans aren't any better at monogamish relationships than they are at monogamy, because the real problem is communication skills and respecting boundaries and dealing with all our very natural but terribly destructive jealousy. I don't know what the failure rates are for non-monogamous relationships but I bet you they are pretty close to what they are for monogamous relationships.
So while I'm all for consenting adults doing whatever they like, I think it's important to remember that it's not the monogamy or the open relationship or the occasional invited third wheel that is the deciding factor in a relationship's success, it's the people in the relationship. If open relationships were the norm and it were punishable by death to be monogamous with a single partner, there would be executions for people who simply aren't interested in adding more people to the mix.
Seriously, all I want to point out is that I really really really think we need to stop talking about what is "natural" in relationships. This is the same strawman used by homophobes to ban same sex couples from having rights and it really bothers me when we use that justification for ANYTHING having to do with consenting adults' sexual lives.
Jul 8, 2011
commented on That's Not What I'm Saying, Ross
Monogamy is as "unnatural" as threesomes, and open relationships where couples discuss who they can and can't date and as "unnatural" as bondage and golden showers. It's irrelevant what is "natural." It is natural for males to eat the young of other males. It is natural for females to have sex and get pregnant with someone she'll never see again. There are very few if any examples of non-monogamous, pair bonds in which the members of the pair are aware of and absolutely fine with the non-monogamy.
In order to have a reasonable discussion about successful relationships, we need to stop using this tired non-argument that one kind of relationship is "natural" and another kind isn't.
May 26, 2011
commented on So All Those "Nice Guys" Who Write Me at "Savage Love" Complaining About How Straight Women Only Go for Assholes and "Bad Boys"...
I would just like to add one more thing, when alleged "nice boys" feel all bent out of shape because women are attracted to alleged "assholes." I think we all get a little blinded by what happens in hookups versus what happens in long term lasting relationships.
Women get just as butt-hurt about what sort of women get fawned over at all times as men get all butt-hurt over who women will hop in the sack with, but I'll tell you what I've seen. I've seen really sweet great guys going after a few select women who have shown no interest and have a history of going after these "asshole" types. I've seen these same men ignore and reject women who don't meet insane physical ideals, all while crying in his cheerios over not getting laid.
Whatever studies might tells you about what people are most attracted to in a raw physical sense, is not really indicative of what happens when people start settling down into long term relationship. Statistically speaking, 50% of us are below average in looks yet far more than 50% of the adult population manages to have relationships of varying success, in their life. That suggests that while people closer to the "ideal" may have an easier time, most of the people getting bent out of shape about what a particular gender likes, can kindly STFU.