A place for Canadians.

Aug 21, 2013 catrin commented on Savage Love.
I had a friend in college who, due to a birth defect, was born without most of her fingers. She'd had surgeries to build functioning fingers from other bones (i.e. one of her thumbs started out as her big toe). Her hands were literally a work of art! And more to the point, she was hot, confident, and funny. We were never single at the same time, but I would have dated her in an instant if the opportunity had come up.

My guess would be that DIMI has little to no sexual experience yet (consistent with being a whiny teen) so hasn't realized yet that almost no one decides to date or fuck someone based solely on looks. In fact how good you think someone looks can be strongly influenced by whether you already want to fuck them. Chemistry lives somewhere much more complicated. On the other hand self pity is a universal turn off...
Aug 2, 2012 catrin commented on Promo Posters for Stockholm Pride.
Slight adjustment from this Swedish-speaker on the idioms:

24. Because heels are a must-have.
10. You will always be a hot topic.
21. You can have twice as much fun.
19. Because there'll be more lips to kiss.
35. Your children will know with total certainty that they were wanted.
2. You'll have no trouble getting laid.
Sep 7, 2011 catrin commented on Savage Love.
I also have dated someone with this MO (a bi woman). No longer communicate with her due to the inexplicable urge to break her face that would arise whenever she would again begin to explain in excrutiating detail how sad it was that everyone interpreted her nonconsensual emotional sadism as such instead of as a genuine effort to make a real connection and find herself. Some people just can't hear themselves.
Aug 3, 2011 catrin commented on SL Letter of the Day: Power Running Low.
You already know that if you do this, you will get caught, because you've been there and done that. You're clearly trying to do the right thing, and good on you for channelling some of that extra energy towards your husband. But it sounds like your will not to do this is slipping.

So you need to go ahead and have the conversation with your husband now, as Dan suggested.

Does your husband know about your history with this guy? If he has not been jealous or insecure about your continued association with an ex-fling, then odds are good the conversation will do no lasting damage. After all, he already knows that you are attracted to the other guy.

Engage your husband in helping you actively channel your lust towards him. Find out conclusively whether an open relationship (or a husband-approved one-time fling) is an option - don't just assume it isn't. And if you decide you cannot sleep with the other guy, tell HIM so and ask him, as your friend, to back you up. He should not ask you to sleep with him again, and if you slip up and approach him about it he should tell you no.
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Jun 9, 2011 catrin commented on Dear Street Canvassers, Stop..
Standing with TB here. I haven't seen the Seattle chuggers, but I worked for one of the better canvassing outfits in Raleigh for a few months because I couldn't get anything better as a fresh college grad in November 2008.

Maybe most of your canvassers are white, but let me tell you, most aren't middle class. 20% of the canvassers I worked for were homeless. Canvassing is the best paying job you can get around here without a permanent address. Plus, since some fraction of your coworkers really do give a shit about the issues, you can usually find someone who'll help you cash your paycheck at a real bank or let you store your good shoes in the office so they don't get stolen at night.

It isn't cushy, either. Every canvasser has a quota. Fail to meet your quota 3 days in any month, and you are fired on the spot. Even if you miss your quota because your team leader misread the damn map and set you canvassing in the middle of Tea Party turf, where you not only get insulted, but also spit on and kicked. Most canvassers make $8/hour for their work.

The kids with college degrees are put in salaried "leadership" positions with an effective wage of $5.10/hour. These folks can be required to move across the country at 1 week's notice and their own expense, according to the whim of the company. Regularly moving canvassers with college degrees is an established tactic to prevent canvassers from building up support networks they might use to resist.

So why are there so many more canvassers lately? Cause there's a lot more people without jobs, taking the best thing they can get.

Canvassers know that their organizations divert a significant fraction of the donations into executive salaries, but can't admit it or they get fired. They know you don't want to give them money. They wouldn't give themselves money if they were you. But they have got to do anything they can to get you to give, or else they don't make the rent.

Best way to get a canvasser to leave you alone is to offer them a job, or even a job lead. I would have flung my clipboard on the ground on the spot.

Otherwise, save your condescending cards and keep walking. They already know.
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Jan 5, 2011 catrin joined My Stranger Face
Jan 5, 2011 catrin commented on Savage Love.
@8 Yes, but all of it is queer porn.

I cannot recommend Crash Pad highly enough.

Many of their videos feature an active/passive or top/bottom dynamic. A very few involve cocks made of meat rather than silicon. Unfortunately if queer porn is not your thing you probably won't enjoy the site.

If you're one of Dan's lesbian or queer readers, on the other hand, and not bothered by things shaped like penises, you should take a look.
 

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