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Feb 1, 2013 shameless commented on I Know I'm a Man So I'm Not Supposed to Have an Opinion, but I Don't See What's So Awful About Obama's Contraception Rule.
"By setting up separate insurance plans for birth control coverage, the federal government is officially endorsing the idea that reproductive health care is separate from, you know, health care. Which it isn't. Such a concession to the religious organizations further stigmatizes women and their oh-so-mysterious body parts and accepts the inaccurate premise that there's any validity to objections to basic health care on the grounds that Jesus wouldn't like it." http://www.dailykos.com/story/2013/02/01…
Dec 18, 2012 shameless commented on Dipshit Domino's Founder Sues to Block Employees From Accessing Birth Control.
It's not FREE. It's insurance coverage with no copay, insurance which employees pay into and/or receive as part of their salary. Or do you also think that your paycheck is "free money" you receive every month? Language is important, please stop repeating the bullshit line that this issue is about "free contraception". It's not. It's about gender equity in insurance coverage.
May 18, 2011 shameless commented on Control Tower.
@5: it matters in the same way that it would matter if someone who ate meat called himself a Vegan, or if someone who dated multiple people simultaneously called herself monogamous. And I'm *sure* all the people here who have a problem with my original post would *vigorously defend* the right of a person with multiple partners to call himself monogamous. After all, who gives a crap about labels? People get to describe their relationships however they want!

@4: see above. There's a difference between the rules individuals agree to within a relationship, and using words that accurately describe the nature of the relationship. If someone told me they were poly but then needed permission to date me, I consider that deception. A lie. It would be more honest and accurate if they said they were swingers, or partially monogamous, or whatever other description that doesn't imply the actual ability to be independent.
May 18, 2011 shameless commented on Control Tower.
If you have to get a partner's blessing to date another person, you're not in a truly open relationship. So-called "poly" people who need approval or need to approve before dating others are not fucking poly, they just want to enjoy the label without having to face the reality of what it means to be independent. Needing to control and possibly limit your parnter's activities is simply "monogamy lite" or some form of swinging.

Otherwise, a fine column.
Jan 12, 2011 shameless joined My Stranger Face
Jan 12, 2011 shameless commented on Savage Love.
@54 & 90 - yes, yes. Other holes in her story: If they were truly open and healthy, she wouldn't be asking Dan questions 1 or 2, she'd be working that out with her partner. She should know there aren't strict "poly rules", the rules depend on the individuals involved, like any relationship. Also, why is "girlfriends" in quotes? She's the only "real" girlfriend? And - it's not up to her whether or not her guy "squelches the romance", that is up to him (if they were truly open, that is).

That said, I've been in a healthy open relationship with a guy for 14+ years, and he's had a few good 1-3 year relationships end in heartache because the women would eventually realize they were really monogamous. No bad drama, just, "I thought I could do this but it's not for me." Still very sad for both of them, but he's honest from the start and they chose to date him anyway, so what can you do? Just saying, just because many of CaR's b/f's previous relationships ended badly it doesn't mean he/they did anything wrong. Other women's expectations aren't the couple's problem (assuming they are totally honest from the start). My guy's exes understood that even if I wasn't around, he still wouldn't be monogamous with them, so the problem wasn't about me or us, it was simply incompatibility. Sadly though, I don't think this is the case with CaR. She seems to want monogamy light/swinging, not a fully open relationship with all the trust and communication required to make it healthy and sustainable.

[sorry about the long rant]
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