Jan 18, 2011
commented on SL Letter of the Day: Peace On The Side
@ Xina, #1 - I'm an example of the disabilities that Dan is talking about. When my fiance and I because involved, I was still able to do a great deal of sex, but not vaginal penetrative. So we had a good time. And I felt like there was a light at the end of the tunnel as far as finding a treatment would work.
Time has gone on. My condition has gotten worse to the point that any physical contact in the vicinity of my vulvar region is excruciatingly painful. Not only is vaginal penetration off the list, but so is pretty much everything. And knowing stuff will hurt has started making my brain pre-emptive strike by killing my libido. Although I've recently found a new doctor who's taking a whole new approach to this and seems to have seen it before, there's no telling how long I'll be with this.
Our solution has been to open up the relationship (although he's still looking for a girlfriend), especially for his side, in order for him to get some of those needs met. But if I was one of those crazy-bitch girlfriends some guys saddle themselves with, they definitely would put their foot down with "me or nothing", even if "me" was only every 3-4 months (which I feel awful about, but can't do much for). In that kind of case, the guy would totally be justified to go cheat.