Yeah, it's a copy of that.

Helenka (also a Canuck)
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Bio

♥ As a Gemini, I acknowledge many dualities of which woman/child and bold/timid are but… more »

TMI

  • I hate living in Seattle or I wish I lived in Seattle
  • What's your biggest grammatical pet peeve?: Should of/Would of ... tied with Its/It's
  • Vampire or Zombie
  • What piece of art would you steal?: I might "borrow" The Joy of Life (Matisse), The Polish Rider (Rembrandt) and the gold statue of Selket (King Tut exhibit)
  • What song or movie makes you cry?: Star Trek Reboot (before opening credits).

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Apr 14 Helenka (also a Canuck) commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: She Wants a Gay FWB.
@22
I think your suggestion shows the greatest potential to work within an already established M/M relationship that has a BiM who'd like to have some sexual contact with a woman from time to time. With both men present, LW should get a bigger high without needing to worry about the ethics or sheer logistics of finding a 100% gay guy who might be interested.
Mar 23 Helenka (also a Canuck) commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Irreconcilable Differences.
Despite encouraging me to continue with the infidelity he will try to use it against me. I am just at a loss. Please don't tell me to leave him. It is just not going to happen and by the way, he thinks something bad happened to him a a kid to make him so fucked up. Nothing happened to him but I can't tell him to get over the notion he had some horrible child hood as he has too much invested in that. Whoa.
Whoa is certainly right. I get a definite "pushy bottom" vibe from the LW here. She wants what she wants but won't acknowledge what her husband wants. Or says he'll use it against her. Then says she won't leave him (not sure why? is it because the kids are in their teens?). So ... the obvious solution is for him to give in to her demand that he dominate her!?!

Also, unless she's a mind reader or grew up with him in the same house, etc., how on earth can she insist that "(N)othing happened to him"?

I think her previously-listed insecurities have pushed her to be incredibly rigid. Can this marriage be saved? Only if she gets help on her own first, fix the insecurities before proceeding on to trying to adopt a more flexible balance of power. AFAIC, though, I think they're both fucked. If the LW can't conceive of ending the marriage, then at least negotiate companionate terms and outsource your jollies.
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Feb 20 Helenka (also a Canuck) commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Come On, Snoopy.
Each of them has at least one negative quality each.
From the LW:
Look at photos on Cragislist all you want, and indulge that porn addiction you acquired as a lonely single guy—I don't care, but keep it out of the real world.
She's certainly doing some horndog shaming with the porn description.

Her husband:
No longer able to talk or text with the other woman on his personal cellphone, he's now making calls on his work line. How lovely (spoken with derisive sarcasm) that he has the kind of job (especially in this economy) where he can take the time for long personal conversations on the job. What would happen were his unauthorized calls monitored and he was caught? Depending on his seniority, etc., he might not still have that secure job that allows the LW to not have to work.
Feb 19 Helenka (also a Canuck) commented on Netflix's New Richie Rich May Be Your New WORST THING EVER.
I'm not a violent person, yet I want to join you in smacking him into the nearest black hole. That smirk is obnoxious. As is the robot maid. The script could have called for a totally cool robot pet. And, for the record, voiceover guy, it's pronounced FeBREWary, not Febuary. Ugh.
Feb 18 Helenka (also a Canuck) commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Can He Dump His Girlfriend Now?.
Okay. ::takes a big breath:: I'm going to actually return to the column. I believe that SAWN is biting off - let's say a pot roast - in one go when he should be focusing on a single mouthful. For the moment, let's forget about the lack of sex, the boring morass he's stuck in, and her clingy nature, both for financial and emotional reasons, let alone the constant manipulation. And let's forget about professing to being in love. And having two families to satisfy by getting married. Ugh to that.

What SAWN needs first of all is to get a good night's sleep. Every night ... or at least every weeknight. In whatever voice works (feh to the "tone" issue, too), he must convey to his gf that this is a non-negotiable requirement of his. He's not saying it to be difficult; it's just a matter of biology and being able to function in the real world, not coincidentally the world wherein his ability to earn a living allows her to go to school without worry.

He can present it as a win-win situation. While he's sleeping, she can do her homework. And he'll be in far better spirits after a few good sleeps. IF she cannot accede to his most minimal request, then she definitely has NO respect for him. And, then, he'll have a clearer view of whether they have any future together. From thousands of miles away, even I say NO.
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Feb 18 Helenka (also a Canuck) commented on SL Letter of the Day: Eat and Run.
The refusal to kiss is what gets to me. I'm wondering whether he's opposed to that so that he can continue to convince himself that he's really not gay; it's just that he has no other avenues for sex. Why? Because I see the eventually tragic marriage to a nice virgin girl to satisfy his family. And the Craigslist hookups will continue.

I have to agree with #14 and #15. Sad that this kid will never benefit from It Gets Better.
Feb 17 Helenka (also a Canuck) commented on Have You Seen Fifty Shades of Grey Yet?.
Ophian, I snickered through the Macleans link.

Personally, I'd rather have a root canal than watch "50 Shades". I think I'll have a rewatch this week of "Secretary" where both splendidly-engaging actors ramp up arousal and anticipation. One of my RL/FB friends posted a link about the superiority of the latter film.

Next up on my cinematic journey: Hawking and Turing.
Feb 17 Helenka (also a Canuck) commented on It’s So Warm, People Are in the Park with Flip-Flops, Shorts, and… Torso Parts!??.
You
Are
Making
Me
Cry
... as Toronto continues to be colder not only than the surface of Mars (big diff) but also the North Pole. Sigh.
Feb 16 Helenka (also a Canuck) commented on Savage Love.
Mr. Venn @ 189

How wonderful to find myself included in the cast (even with your noted misgivings). Now I'm as curious as a cat to find out more (everything) about these characters. Personally, as I love toying with all my dualities, I'd like to see what I'd be like as a "bad loser", especially after a dinner guest last week complimented me on my ability to rise above adversity and maintain a positive attitude.
Feb 15 Helenka (also a Canuck) commented on Breaking News! You Can Now Read The Stranger on Your Cell Phone.
I'm actually enjoying some of the redesign features, but then I'm using Firefox on a desktop. [A couple years ago, when my monitor died, I was using my Android to read SLOG, but only for a month.]

I prefer the comments in a new tab and press Ctrl plus the link to have the two tabs side by side. Before, I always had to resize the overlapping comment window to max. It was a pain to do every single time. The live preview is good, removing the necessity of an additional action.

However, what I believe would help in keeping discussions going is a practical format using REAL threads, each with nested replies. It would help when, now, we have to hope #167 @ MazatlanDiver (I just made that up) is still reading and will respond. Or we have to scroll through (and get entangled in) the seaweed snarl of commenters whose only interest is carrying on a semi-private dialogue/love fest/critique. When there are comments on The Morning News, they're all jumbled up. Very frustrating when the news has many stories.
 

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