Boything's Girl
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Boulder, CO girl temporarily exiled in Washington, DC.

Jul 24, 2016 Boything's Girl commented on How Green Is Her Bullshit: An Uncharacteristically Brief Response to the Green Party Spokesperson's Dishonest Response to My Podcast Rant.
(I'm not reading the other comments first because I don't want to be influenced.)

Dan, I nearly always agree with you and think you present your cases and opinions very well. Not this time. This was a shitty response.

The Green Party spokesperson responded to all the points in your rant – pretty convincingly – with a minimum of snark. Your follow-up response had the following fatal flaws:

1) You seem to expect the GPUS to be holding a comparable number of elected positions as Republicans or Democrats. I don't know the size of the Green Party, but I do know it has to be a TINY fraction of either of the big two. Therefore the right metric is the percentage of offices held *proportional to the size of their party*. I am guessing that even if every single solitary member of GPUS held public offic, it would still be a tiny percentage of all available offices – and a number you would still find lacking.

So are you really trying to say you think they should not put forth a presidential candidate until their party is bigger? If so, you should have just come out and said it. Instead, what it *sounded* like you were implying is that really they should never, ever enter a race if a Republican is running, because it would hurt the Democratic candidate.

2) You used the total Republican-esque diversionary tactic of strategically dropping in totally random things you disagreed with in the GPUS platform. Your original rant had nothing to do with platform. Their response had little to do with it. If you wanted to get into the issues you disagree with them about, that should have been done in another post, or at the very least, in a separate, final, "Oh and by the way…" final paragraph.

3) You also resorted to the totally TRUMP-esque habit of snark, name-calling, sarcasm, and generally sounding like a real ass, especially in comparison to the response the GPUS gave you. And then you actually say that if they would run more local candidates, you would indeed support them. Why on God's green and verdant earth would you do that? Everything you wrote here makes it sound like you hate their guts with a fiery passion.
May 26, 2016 Boything's Girl commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Help Me Out, Sloggers.
Thanks, @28! I just moved to a new city at age 46, and some things just span age gaps. I felt her pain.

However, I took so long to compose my magnum opus that apparently my sleepy head crashed into my keyboard at the end of my second to last paragraph and I wound up with inserted random letters (and a sore forehead). ^_^ The "orgsvhf" there was SUPPOSED to say, "organization that looks like it has interesting people." Derpity derp derp!
May 26, 2016 Boything's Girl commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Help Me Out, Sloggers.
Hi, there ~ I know it sucks ass (and not in the nice way) to be stuck in a work and social situation that leaves you lonely. Here are my hopefully practical suggestions for how to get out there and meet people to add to the ones already posted by other folks in this thread. Sorry if some are dupes; others were answering while I was composing this behemoth!

1) Full-time college might not be for you right now, but you might not always feel that way. Consider taking a class with transferable credits at a local community college. Or if possible, take a class for credit at the same college your friends are going to (I say "if possible" because some schools require you be accepted into a degree program to take any for-credit classes, even part time).

But even if you can't take a for-credit class (or if you don't have the time or inclination for intense schoolwork), you could take a class in their continuing education department – if not something practical and career-related, how about photography, creative writing, a foreign language, figure drawing, etc.? – something fun in which you'll find people with a common interest in a specific topic. I don't know Seattle very well, but for UW for example, it looks like the Continuing Ed campus ( is much closer to you than the main campus (although some classes are either online or at the main campus). But the best part of taking a continuing ed class is that you get full access to many of the same student benefits as full-time students! So again using UW as an example, even just as a continuing ed student, you'd get access to the dining halls, libraries, campus events, museums, and the IMA (which looks to be an athletic center with workout equipment and pool), student discounts to sporting events and shopping, access to parking, etc. (full list:…). This would make it so much easier to hang with your friends, plus meet new people! (UW's continuing ed main page:

2) Spiritually-inclined? If you're down with God, join a church of your denomination, or if you don't have one, perhaps you'd find a home in a super-liberal and totally-okay-with-LGBT-people-and-their-practices Quaker meeting. Not so down with God? Look for a Unitarian-Universalist church, or if meditation interests you, my personal recommendation: a Buddhist meditation center (full disclosure of bias: I'm a Buddhist!). The organization I have participated in for 25 years is Shambhala International, which is based on traditional Tibetan Buddhism, but Westernized and fairly secularized. Here is the Seattle center's main page:, and they also hold meditation programs nearer to you:….

3) Meetup (! Meetup is where you can find 1001 social get togethers based on nearly every demographic, activity, profession, or interest you can imagine. Bonus: Many are geared to young singles. You should have no trouble finding ones that do not require 21+.

4) Volunteer! There may be some volunteer-oriented Meetups (above), or just identify an organization that speaks to you. Some ideas include: animal rescue organizations, soup kitchens/homeless shelters, trail cleanup, even occasional office work for an orgsvhf

Sorry to be so wordy, but I wanted to give you as much info as I could, because I know what it's like to be in your situation! The best of luck to you!
Jun 28, 2015 Boything's Girl commented on Savage Love.
I'm terribly late catching up with columns, sorry.

I feel like Dan's response to NSFM was unnecessarily harsh. What is wrong with trying to understand something fom someone else's perspective? NSFM was clearly trying to open his mind, not close it. He was seeking additional information so that he could fully support and embrace the trans experience. Why should someone *wanting* to educate themselves and come on board just be told that it's none of their damn business?
Apr 28, 2015 Boything's Girl commented on I Misspoke on All In with Chris Hayes Last Night.
@10: I suspect that the 16% of non-supportive Buddhists are older, ethnic Buddhists (e.g. Chinese, Vietnamese) who are more influenced on this issue by their culture than their religion.

Anyway, I was also about to bound in here and humblebrag that we Buddhists were easily going to beat out all the other religions, but I forgot about the UUs! According to the statistics from the quoted study (…), the UUs do indeed win with a whopping 94%. After the Buddhists in second at 84%, Jews and "Unaffiliated" tie for third with 77%, and "Other Religions" round out the top 5 at 75%.
Dec 20, 2014 Boything's Girl commented on Savage Love.
Sure @101, it's wacky to be 50 and to be on husband number two? Yep, clearly I'm just burnin' through 'em willy nilly.

"Vegetarianism is a belief system"
"Vegetarians believe eating meat is wrong"
"Vegetarianism entails an implicit (and sometimes explicit) statement of moral superiority"

Yep, no blanket statements there; I can't imagine why you'd be accused of making absolute generalizations! Why, look at all the times you said "sometimes"! And all the humorous anecdotes! Poor misunderstood you.
Dec 19, 2014 Boything's Girl commented on Savage Love.
@seandr – you've never dated a vegetarian; do you even *know* any? Because you speak with great authority on how we ALL FEEL and you're pretty full of crap.

If you dislike Brussels sprouts, are you an unreasonable zealot with a morally superior belief system to which you want to convert the entire world? Well guess what, I only don't eat meat because I can't get past that it is a dead animal, like, dead road kill, and that grosses me out. Just like moldy food grosses me out, or apples with worms in them. Or Brussels spouts. And that's it. It's a preference I'm allowed to have, and I recognize it's a personal preference.

I now turn my attention to the sane people.

For @37, who doesn't want to see his/her delicious curry ruined by the last-minute addition of some poorly-thought-out freezer chicken, check out the cookbook, "The Flexitarian Table" by Peter Berley. It's been the bible of high-end meals in our mixed household, where the addition of meat isn't a last-minute afterthought and won't make you feel like your slaved-over meal has been brought down a few notches. In most cases, the meats/seafoods are not brought together until they're on the eater's plate.

And finally, nobody's mentioned this, and maybe it's rare to be as sensitive as I am, but I can actually *smell* non-vegetarians up close, like, on their skin. It comes out their pores. Especially when giving a blow job – you have the trifecta of skin, sweat, and cum all smelling/tasting like a meat-eater's. Despite being careful not to complain or decrease my frequency, I've had two husbands voluntarily become vegetarian so as to ramp up my enjoyment of the act (how selfless of them!). Both of their health and energy improved along with our sex life, so all's well that ends well ;-)
Oct 24, 2014 Boything's Girl commented on Savage Love.
Like all the minions of Dan, I am permanently conditioned to only think of santorum as that famous frothy mix. However, something about the wording of that last answer had a peculiar scene popping into my head: My partner and I are enjoying some fun anal play, when – oops! – Santorum is present! He's sitting over there in the corner in our favorite overstuffed chair, making "tsk tsk tsk" noises and looking very disapproving. What a mood killer!

Sep 15, 2014 Boything's Girl answered a bunch of weird questions about himself or herself.
Sep 15, 2014 Boything's Girl updated his or her bio.