Jan 8, 2012
commented on Do New Hampshire's Bigots Know That Bisexuals Can Legally Marry In All 50 States?
The religious right may want all bisexual men and women married off in opposite-sex marriages, but they don't necessarily want those bisexuals out of the closet and marching in Pride Parades--both to promote their own visibility and to show support for the LGBTQ in general. Whenever we can, we're glad to disappoint them in that way and we encourage more bis to come out, no matter what the relationship they're in, to freak their shit out some more.
As for me, I know quite a few bisexuals married to/in LTR with same-sex, trans, and genderqueer partners. We all need marriage equality but let's just say that those bis, along with lesbians and gay men, are in the most immediate need of marriage equality.
So the religious right wants to use images of out bisexuals, BDSM folks, the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence and other gender variant hotties against the whole LGBTQ. Allow same-sex marriage and you unleash the tide of pansexual pandemonium. Surprise, surprise--nothing new about that hyperbolic strategy.
The thing is, how does the creator of the above collage know with absolute certainty that the people on the left side of the photo aren't bisexual? The husband, the wife, the kids could all be bi/pansexual. Let's put some bi symbols on their t-shirts. That should start a sex panic.
Jan 8, 2012
commented on Letter from a Bisexual Plunged into "Invisible Darkness"
Hmmm . . . interesting that a bi-identified person would not find language like "same-sex marriage" inclusive. Bi the way, just so you know, for the last few year bi activists like Sheela Lambert, founder of the Bi Writers Association, have been pushing for the media and public officials to get away from the language of "gay marriage" and use "same-sex marriage" instead, so that bisexuals would be more aptly included in the movement for marriage equality and not erased.
So I guess, Shaunita, that you can blame bisexual activists for the language that the governor uses. I suppose you think bi activists have not gone far enough? Frankly, the issue of bi visibility is fraught with all kinds of semantic pitfalls, sometimes without any conscious intent. In my opinion, "marriage equality" is a great statement--by implication, it includes gender variance more than "same-sex marriage"--but I still don't think that in all cases it makes gender variant bisexuals significantly more visible. Something to work on.
Jun 26, 2011
commented on Bisexuals
Dan very badly wants his bisexual critics to acknowledge that many gay men and lesbians come out as bisexual first, then transition to gay and lesbian identities.
He seems to have no knowledge/recognition of people who come out as gay/lesbian first, then transition to bisexual, pansexual, or queer identities. Maybe he doesn't see or hear it happen because he hangs with his own gay clique--but those kind of coming out stories are pretty common in the bi community. It goes both ways, Dan.
Then there are those who engage in breeder sex after they come out gay/lesbian and they still identify as gay/lesbian. Who knows why--maybe the sexual attraction is there but not the emotional/romantic element. Or maybe the stigma of making their fluid sexuality visible through using another identity is too scary and complicated for them. Maybe dealing with the biphobia of the gay community, on top of the homophobia of the straight community, is just too darn much. So they shut up about it. Certainly, gay identified men who engage in a bit of breeder sex are not going to tell any biphobic gay friend like Dan about their feelings, because they already know how Dan feels about bisexuals. And they probably also know that Dan thinks pussy is gross--like a split open can of ham.
Wouldn't it be nice if there was no more fear and shame over who was fucking who? Wasn't that the original intention of Gay Liberation? Wouldn't it be great if gays, lesbians and bisexuals could share their stories with each other, to realize our diversity but also help each other get over the fear and shame? And then we could all take some time to listen to transgender and genderqueer people and learn from their struggles. We could finally stop fearing each other. And we could develop really enlightened leaders and spokespersons for the LGBTQ.
Then things would really get better.
Feb 5, 2011
commented on Bisexual Reluctant to Date Bisexuals
I'm a bisexual woman and I would definitely date a bi guy. The bi guys I meet tend to be the politically active ones because I'm politically active. If a bi guy marches in the streets fighting for marriage equality, ENDA, the repeal of DOMA, hate crimes against LGBTQ, etc., chances are he is pretty secure with his sexual identity and has had enough sexual experience to tell where he is on the Kinsey scale.
Plus, it's great to be with someone you don't have to explain yourself to. And he might be more open to the idea of polyamory or open relationships--or at least discussing the subject.