Home of the Whopper.

7:28 PM yesterday Lassie commented on Savage Love.
Dear B.E.S.T.S : U.R. gay. Or possibly what you think of as "Bi". embrace it and stop fooling yourself. its not the end of the world.

To me, "Bi" is gay gay gay. Until you reach the age you aren't attractive to young guys any more and you find some woman to marry, maybe have kids with, so you don't die alone. Or be murdered by some guy you find on the internet. There's nothing wrong with this, after a certain age. You will want a woman to take care of you in your declining year. She will want security, she will want a husband. Just be honest. You two can work out a deal and be very happy ever after. Just make sure you are financially secure, that will get you partners of any sex hassle-free.
Mar 20 Lassie commented on What I Want to Know Is Why You Hate Porn Stars.
There's a big disconnect in his brain, somehow. Maybe an STD infiltrated it.

Just because you plow, or get plowed by, strangers on film and get paid for it, just because you do it so often it's like blowing your nose, that doesn't make it a great thing. Sorry. It may be beautiful and natural and liberating and all that to you. So is moving your bowels. Your grandparents wouldn't want to see you do either on the dining room table at Thanksgiving, would they? So the problem is with you.
Jun 28, 2013 Lassie commented on I Love Television.
So where is he? On vacation? Fired?
Feb 2, 2013 Lassie commented on I Love Television.
We don't 'do' the Superbowl any more, the man of the house lost interest long ago, and I go out shopping on a Sunday anyway. The big fancy grocery store here sets up a buy-by-the-pound wing bar - 11 different kinds! Woot! Imma hitting that!
Jan 6, 2013 Lassie commented on I Love Television.
Since when was Lord Grantham a 'former chauffeur'? Am I missing something here? Nearly destitute, but HE wasn't ever a chauffeur???
Aug 17, 2012 Lassie commented on Mitt Romney Would Murder Elmo (But Might Feel Bad About It).
Bleedin' 'ell, how would I watch East Enders (even though we're 5 years behind)? Oy, sling yer hook, Mittens, wiffout EE I got nofink!
Feb 24, 2012 Lassie commented on I Love Television.
Kelly Osbourne's hair looks utterly stupid. And - She has that schtick of, after hearing Joan Rivers say something gross, her mouth falls open in (mock) shock, stunned!! - as if her ears had never heard anything so naughty in her whole entire life.
Aug 5, 2011 Lassie commented on I Love Television.
Bachelor Pad: I sincerely doubt there will be much "trying" (except for some initial token giggling) for the bachelors to get into anyone's pants.

Hillbilly Handfishin': This was one of Mike Rowe's early dirty jobs. It wasn't a money-making job, but the catfish sure looked good on the grill.

Friends With Benefits: Kill me. Kill me, now. I would rather watch Mass For Shut-ins and I am totally serious.

When Fish Attack: Tomorrow, Saturday, 8/6/11 on Discovery Channel is the awesome Killer Jellyfish, a 1/2" critter in Australia that when it stings you, you go to the hospital and live in utter agony for a month. Morphine doesn't help. However, the Australians helpfully put up big canvas fences in the water, in the swimming areas, to keep the Killer Jellyfish out. Want to swim? You go in first.
Jul 22, 2011 Lassie commented on I Love Television.
The very thought of watching 99.9% of those shows you mention, in my hot, hot, hot house, makes me want to cry. It's like TV in hell. Literally.
Mar 25, 2011 Lassie commented on I Love Television.
If one of these insects dyes its hair brown and the other dyes its hair blond - what color could their hair be to begin with???

I've been reading and semi-enjoying this column for all these years since I got my first propane powered 200 lb. 3 ft. tall PC. I laugh like a loon 9 times out of 10. Bobito shouldn't be reading it as his frustration on not 'getting it' is starting to make him cranky.
 
 

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