Feb 13, 2011
commented on SL Letter of the Day: A Sexual Reflects On Nearly Asexual Ex
It's definitely conceivable, a priori, that an unscrupulous asexual might deceive a sexual person into a relationship in order to meet their own selfish needs.
But that said, why are we centering ALL of our debate on the subject around that particular scenario? It's like the "ticking time-bomb" argument in favour of torture - it's almost never actually happened and is not something reasonable on which to base our general policy towards torture.
Likewise, I'd like to know how many of you actually KNOW OF an asexual person; a friend of a friend for example. How many of you have actually MET one? SEEN one? Had one deceive you into a relationship? When does this actually happen? My guess is that it's probably about as likely as getting struck by f***ing lightning.
It's unfair to hinge this entire debate around the hypothetical deceptive asexual, because it's not a realistic expectation to have of any asexual. As it's been pointed out here before, asexuals are EXTREMELY rare, and unless you're trying to suggest that sociopathic or sadistic behaviour is somehow dramatically overrepresented within the asexual community, than the problem has to be rare; much rarer, in fact, than an asexual person, which is EXREMELY rare.
Yes, an asexual should disclose their orientation before or during the first or second date. To argue against that would be absurd. But, having skimmed almost this entire page, it seems no one EVER made that particular argument. So what I'm suggesting here, in the end, is that the obsession with this particular scenario which has dominated the debate here betrays an underlying, visceral desire to berate or discredit asexuality itself, by use of this straw man argument.