clashfan
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Sep 28 clashfan commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Like a Good Neighbor.
There are agencies that will do respite care. The family should get themselves officially registered as foster parents, and then that might become an option for them.
Sep 28 clashfan commented on Savage Love.
Dude didn't hit up one or two women. He had sex with multiple women from the app. Unless he knows why he did it, he oughtn't be marrying anyone. And he certainly shouldn't be in a monogamous relationship.
Sep 21 clashfan commented on Savage Love.
I knew since I was 15 years old that I didn't want kids. I'm 44 now, and it's still true.

If the husband is unsure, or thinks he might possibly change his mind in the future--bank some sperm. If he has other concerns, he needs to talk about them with his doctor with and his wife.

This saying he wants to get a vasectomy and then dragging his feet about it is childish.
Sep 20 clashfan commented on Savage Love.
Whatever birth control they're using between themselves, she might want to stop. That's a decent reason. And her husband has agreed to it, but he's dragging his feet. The question is why? She needs to have that conversation with her husband.
Sep 15 clashfan commented on Crude Anti-Obama Stickers Seen on Lockers During Tour of Police North Precinct.
Can we not use 'pussy', 'bitch', and 'grow a pair' to call out someone for cowardice?
Sep 7 clashfan commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: The End of the Kinky Affair.
LW, do you enjoy these explorations? It sounds like you were hesitant at first, referring to it as 'degrading'. But now that you've talked about it, and done it at least once, how do you feel about it?

Knowing the answer to that might help you talk about it better with your husband.
Sep 3 clashfan commented on Shut Up About Trigger Warnings....
"my feeling is that the syllabus or textbook should describe course content without infantilizing students with the rating system you propose"

First, I didn't propose a rating system. All I said--what I am saying--is that it's not a terrible idea for professors to put a note in the syllabus that a particular reading and/or class discussion covers pretty intense material. That's it. It doesn't take a particularly empathetic person to guess that the topics of rape, sexual abuse, incest, intense violence (including racist attacks such as graphic depictions of lynchings), and some wartime experiences might fall under that umbrella.

I'm not in favor of forcing professors to do this. I'm not in favor of blanket policies around it. I'm opposed to vilifying the concept, the people who benefit from it, and the professors who choose to do it.
Sep 3 clashfan commented on Here Are 6 Reasons Why Trigger Warnings Aren't Bullshit..
@58: Again, no one wants to fucking avoid. It's knowing that it's coming, and being prepared for it. I've told the story of a professor I had who showed 'Requiem for a Dream' on the first night of class, with no warning at all and no chance to look at a syllabus. Who benefited from that?
Sep 2 clashfan commented on Shut Up About Trigger Warnings....
@48: The whole point is that the Trigger/Content Warnings are there in the syllabus. That's it, just a note that this week's reading will cover X heavy topic, and discussed in the next class session. That's all. No need for dancing to pipes or any other archaic instrument.
Aug 31 clashfan commented on Shut Up About Trigger Warnings....
I'm saying that you don't get to make that choice for them. They do. People with PTSD (or other related disorders) don't need round the clock care. They don't need to be in treatment 6 hours a day, and then maunder the rest of the day at home, trying to find some distractions. Mostly, they want to live a normal life--work, school, friends, etc.--and have a decent chance to avoid the few things that will bring on the overwhelming feelings.

Friends want to go see a war movie? The Iraq vet might sit that one out. Job opportunity at a crisis helpline? The domestic violence victim might just keep looking. But when a recovering addict gets sprung 'Requiem for a Dream' on him the first night of class, with no way to prepare, guess what? He's gonna be triggered. He's going to have a tough time getting out of it what the professor wants him to get out of it. What good does that do anyone? Seriously, what good came out of that situation?