Jul 19 drjones commented on The Utter Failure of the Log Cabin Republicans.
@13 to quote a Danism: Take yes for an answer.
Jul 7 drjones commented on Savage Love.
Ugh, the thing about HADs situation, and admittedly Dan is just arguing a devil's advocate position but anyway.. is that even if you can get to a point where you accept that your wife is completely incapable of monogamy for more than half an hour and you are happy with that it does not change the fact that she completely lied to you for a really long time. She had a choice to treat you like someone she loved, or even as first among many and decided not to. Repeatedly. Being in a marriage is not just about sexual access rights, it's about building a life with someone who is your very good friend, if a good friend of mine was this explicitly dishonest with me in a way that they clearly knew would upset me and just didn't give a crap I would be done with that friend. Esther Perels addition did not seem useful at all to me, I know the cultural default is not always right, but in this case Esther just bent herself into pretzels trying to accommodate the wife being a shithead.

There are other kinky fish in the sea who will treat you better, get free so you can have a chance to find them.
Jul 6 drjones commented on House Dems Boo Sanders.
@61 I don't know what you are responding to, other than some strawman you wanted to argue with. But Sanders is not beyond the pale, and neither is booing him and calling him out to his face. This is only a news story because Bernie and his remaining hardcores are sensitive little flowers who demand gentle treatment from the party that they despise.
Jul 6 drjones commented on House Dems Boo Sanders.
Don't you get it Dan? Sanders can do whatever he wants, because that's what principled politicians do. But everyone else, including you must tiptoe around him and his supporters because hearing boos make them have a sad.
Jul 6 drjones commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Taking a Break, Breaking a Heart, Casting a Ballot.
If I was a woman, and knew my partner had guns, even if they were generally reasonable, I would not want an honest straight-forward breakup either. Sure, you are unlikely to go crazy and murder her, her friends/family/new lover etc. but even a small chance is enough reason to treat you like you might. Disappointment and heartbreak makes some people crazy, and guns make crazy easy to act upon.
Jun 30 drjones commented on An Actually Reasonable Email From an Actually Sane Sanders Supporter.
Totally agree with the second letter. People want to think that voting is like a Yelp review, just a way to express their feelings and personal identity. But we don't just vote to make ourselves feel happy, as citizens it is our responsibility to be actively informed about politics and to vote to keep monsters out of power whether it be school board of president. I have seen no rational analysis that in any way shows hillary clinton being as much a monster as Trump, or even a monster at all.

In a democracy not getting everything that you want means that the system is working.
Jun 29 drjones commented on How I Learned To Stop Worrying About Bernie-Or-Busters and Love the Polls*.
I understand Dans frustration, ever since New York the Sanders campaign has been a walking corpse held aloft by magical thinking. As reality challenged the magic over and over again his hardcore followers became crazier, coming up with more extreme propaganda to share with each other that painted Clinton not as a moderate, or someone who was not fun enough as they had been saying but as a baby eating monster capable of any inhuman depravity. They made themselves into their own FOX news, all bias-confirming propaganda all the time.

Now, the zombie campaign still shuffles about but most of his fans have gone through the grieving process and acceptance begins to take over from rage, denial and bargaining. the ~45% support sanders was seeing in polling at his highest has eroded extremely, he has attempted to use that support as leverage, but in doing so he alienated a large number of his supporters. By waiting to strike deals he has just made his hand weaker.

I am more concerned about the future. This could be the birth of a left-wing Tea Party, a purist ideology over reality insurgent group who sets about primarying mainstream dems from the left in blue districts. That is one of the main things that is crippling the GOP right now and gave us Trump. I agree with some of Bernies policies and would like a more lefty USA but I completely disagree with the tactics and methods of his campaign, which was from the beginning more about division, celebrity and ideology than about actual governance of a nation. The whole thing was a case study in ideological bubbles and bias confirmation.
Jun 28 drjones commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Old Dirty Pics Piss Off Sex-Starved Spouse.
High-five on the name check from Dan, fellow empathy-free scolds!
Jun 22 drjones commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Target Engaged.
@65 a 'real commitment' is no more guarantee that your relationship will last than whatever a not-real-enough commitment is.

I avoided marriage for years cohabitating all the while, and the main reason in retrospect was that people attached way too much stifling baggage to the concept. Once I realized marriage could be whatever the two of us wanted it to be it was much easier to relax and enjoy it. In the end it is purely a legal arrangement, all the layers of cultural stuff around it are optional. Don't let anyone browbeat you about what a real commitment is or push you into a box LW.

Be brave, take a chance. If it works out you win, if it doesn't you learn and are wiser next time. Either way, you will be dead some day so live while you can.
Jun 21 drjones commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: New Father Wants a Threesome Right Now.
Dan's advice is reasonable, commenters advice is angry-mob level stupid. Film at 11.