TMI
- Bring It On or Stomp the Yard
- Dan Savage or Charles Mudede
- Where's your hairiest square inch?: ... my head? as it should be
- What book have you read the most?: the crying of lot 49
- What's your biggest grammatical pet peeve?: people who are uptight about grammar and don't realize how elitist that is
5:06 PM yesterday
mydriasis commented on Savage Love.
@Eirene
A straight girl making out with another girl to get the attention of a guy is no more "mocking" of lesbianism than a vanilla girl engaging in a little kink to please her man is "mocking" of BDSM.
Unless you're talking about women literally being like "LAWL LESBIANS LET'S MAKE OUT TO MAKE FUN OF THEM" which was nothing like the letter and certainly nothing I've ever heard of, seen, or even logical...
A straight girl making out with another girl to get the attention of a guy is no more "mocking" of lesbianism than a vanilla girl engaging in a little kink to please her man is "mocking" of BDSM.
Unless you're talking about women literally being like "LAWL LESBIANS LET'S MAKE OUT TO MAKE FUN OF THEM" which was nothing like the letter and certainly nothing I've ever heard of, seen, or even logical...
10:45 AM yesterday
mydriasis commented on Savage Love.
@tito
Woah woah woah woah
Ain't nobody talking about a world without blowjobs. Cutting out blowjobs and cutting out cunnilingus are two very different things in my book.
Woah woah woah woah
Ain't nobody talking about a world without blowjobs. Cutting out blowjobs and cutting out cunnilingus are two very different things in my book.
10:23 AM yesterday
mydriasis commented on Savage Love.
@Erica
"But then, I've never gotten off from penetration, so perhaps that decision was easier for me."
You think? Haha. You hit the nail on the head.
You're not losing anywhere near as much by cutting out (or cutting down on) PIV as I would be if I ever did. I've orgasmed from cunnilingus and manual but it's nowhere near the same as what it's like during sex.
"But then, I've never gotten off from penetration, so perhaps that decision was easier for me."
You think? Haha. You hit the nail on the head.
You're not losing anywhere near as much by cutting out (or cutting down on) PIV as I would be if I ever did. I've orgasmed from cunnilingus and manual but it's nowhere near the same as what it's like during sex.
10:17 AM yesterday
mydriasis commented on Savage Love.
@nocute
People can have their own ways of viewing their own sexuality. That stuff feels distinctly not-like-sex to me. It's nice. But it's not sex. Some people consider masturbation sex. I get that. But I don't feel that way personally. If I ask someone what they did last night and they say "I had sex" when really they were masturbating I wouldn't consider that super honest. But masturbation is in fact a "kind" of sex.
Lesbians don't have sex in the sense of what I consider sex for myself. I'm sure it feels like sex to them, and they think of it that way and experience it that way. But lesbian sex would be massively lacking for me (I've been with women, it's fun. But it feels distinctly different than what my brain processes as "sex" and it's more dependent on act than gender. Oral from a man feels no more like sex than oral from a woman.)
I understand that LITERALLY those things are sex. But my brain doesn't process them as the same as sex, my body doesn't experience them as the same as sex, so... I don't call them sex. It's perfectly honest for me to do so, unless the guy in question is your boyfriend/husband or something, in which case your opinion of what sex is becomes relevant in my sex life. Otherwise I think it's valid to describe things as I perceive them.
Finally, neither of us said we prefer to have only PIV, we said we don't consider foreplay as sex. I don't consider a delicious chocolate milkshake sex but if you offer me one before or after I'll gladly take it. Saying something isn't experienced as sex doesn't mean you don't like it - necessarily, although it COULD mean that.
More...
People can have their own ways of viewing their own sexuality. That stuff feels distinctly not-like-sex to me. It's nice. But it's not sex. Some people consider masturbation sex. I get that. But I don't feel that way personally. If I ask someone what they did last night and they say "I had sex" when really they were masturbating I wouldn't consider that super honest. But masturbation is in fact a "kind" of sex.
Lesbians don't have sex in the sense of what I consider sex for myself. I'm sure it feels like sex to them, and they think of it that way and experience it that way. But lesbian sex would be massively lacking for me (I've been with women, it's fun. But it feels distinctly different than what my brain processes as "sex" and it's more dependent on act than gender. Oral from a man feels no more like sex than oral from a woman.)
I understand that LITERALLY those things are sex. But my brain doesn't process them as the same as sex, my body doesn't experience them as the same as sex, so... I don't call them sex. It's perfectly honest for me to do so, unless the guy in question is your boyfriend/husband or something, in which case your opinion of what sex is becomes relevant in my sex life. Otherwise I think it's valid to describe things as I perceive them.
Finally, neither of us said we prefer to have only PIV, we said we don't consider foreplay as sex. I don't consider a delicious chocolate milkshake sex but if you offer me one before or after I'll gladly take it. Saying something isn't experienced as sex doesn't mean you don't like it - necessarily, although it COULD mean that.
8:50 AM yesterday
mydriasis commented on Savage Love.
@nocute
Okay, I'm being a bit difficult. Back in the day, that would be referred to as "we fooled around" or "we hooked up" maybe.
Okay, I'm being a bit difficult. Back in the day, that would be referred to as "we fooled around" or "we hooked up" maybe.
8:47 AM yesterday
mydriasis commented on Savage Love.
@nocute
Friend: "M, what did you do last night?
M*really had PIV*: "Hung out."
Friend: "M, what did you do last night?"
M*really had all other other things but not PIV*: "Hung out"
I'm not super into describing my sex life with people, unless they bring it up first. If I say who I hung out with, anyone who knows me will know that we had sex.
P.S. I haven't had an "everything but PIV" situation in years, and that's the way I like it.
Friend: "M, what did you do last night?
M*really had PIV*: "Hung out."
Friend: "M, what did you do last night?"
M*really had all other other things but not PIV*: "Hung out"
I'm not super into describing my sex life with people, unless they bring it up first. If I say who I hung out with, anyone who knows me will know that we had sex.
P.S. I haven't had an "everything but PIV" situation in years, and that's the way I like it.
5:16 AM yesterday
mydriasis commented on Savage Love.
@tachycardia
Amen sister.
Cunnilingus to me is a GGG thing reserved for LTRs. Giving head is fun times though even if I'd certainly never call it sex (whether it ends in orgasm or not).
Amen sister.
Cunnilingus to me is a GGG thing reserved for LTRs. Giving head is fun times though even if I'd certainly never call it sex (whether it ends in orgasm or not).
May 17
mydriasis commented on Savage Love.
@migrationist
Yeah I mean it's pretty common to view PIV that way, in the hetero world.
I certainly don't consider oral or manual sex as "sex" (for myself).
If someone said "I want to have sex with you" but really meant oral sex I would feel pretty fucking ripped off.
Yeah I mean it's pretty common to view PIV that way, in the hetero world.
I certainly don't consider oral or manual sex as "sex" (for myself).
If someone said "I want to have sex with you" but really meant oral sex I would feel pretty fucking ripped off.
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