btmom
The Last U.S. Colony
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There are a lot of things I love and care about in this world, but… more »

Nov 25 btmom commented on Savage Love.
@LW3 - I feel physically and emotionally sick over the results of this election, but I worry about protesters at the inauguration - Trump and his people are not going to respect anyone's 1st Amendment rights, and you will not be safe. I think Dan has a much better idea. Make contributions, find places to volunteer if you can, but don't waste the money on a trip to DC which might also risk life and limb. It's going to be an America we don't recognize, folks, and while we need to fight that, we need to survive to do it.
Oct 26 btmom commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Mom's Boundless Boundary Issues.
As the daughter of a mother who was absurdly intrusive, controlling, AND narcissistic, I'm not convinced the described behavior quite fits in the narcissism box (but there's a lot we don't know); still, I think it goes beyond reasonable, concerned mom. LW stated that mom demands the information and doesn't take no for an answer. My mother was one of those types. I wish I had learned sooner to shut up and start lying. Because she WAS a narcissist, everything I told her was eventually used against me. Maybe LW's mom is less toxic; I hope so. (My mother passed away a few years ago which has been a big boost to my emotional health, sad to say). But it is not a moment too soon for her to start setting boundaries and also, to start planning her escape. Getting out of her parents' house may require some austerity measures, but it will pay off in many other ways.
Oct 21 btmom commented on Savage Love.
@51 - Even though I am a Democrat, I see the value of a two party system, but right now the Republicans/Teabaggers have done their best to make sure our system doesn't function at all. It's time for them to either radically reform themselves, or be replaced by a party that is willing to be the "loyal opposition" - for whom compromise is not a dirty word, and civil disagreement, decorum and basic decency are part of their values. We all know now that "abortion" was not an issue they really cared about - the issue was really segregation, but they whipped up abortion into a wedge issue because talking segregation had become a hot potato. Trump's doing the same thing with immigration but plans to stick it to the gays if he gets in office, which thank goodness, it looks like won't be happening. But in 4 years, I fully expect the Republicans to put forth a more urbane, polished version of Donald Trump. Will a candidate who uses words other than "yuge" and "tremendous" appeal to his base? We'll have to see. But like Dan, I don't find Trump the least bit funny.
For the moment, some young people are still sulking that Dan has thrown his support behind Clinton rather than Jill Stein, and that he saw the handwriting on the wall about Sanders' run before the actual convention. That sulking will pass once the election is over. Sanders can play an important role making sure that the midterms aren't a disaster, and getting young people to bring their enthusiasm where it is needed then.
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Aug 3 btmom commented on It Would Be Helpful If We Stopped Lying About How Much Hillary Clinton Lies.
Dan, thank you for calling out the BS! I know some will never listen, but someone needs to do it anyway. Maybe, over time, it will penetrate some heads. I'm not optimistic, but we should try anyway.
Jul 26 btmom commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: What Would You Do About My Awful Mum?.
I also had a narcissistic mother who refused to see that her hurtful behaviors were unacceptable. It took almost 50 years - for me to realize how thoroughly miserable she made my life. She died and my life became so much better. If I had been smart enough to cut her out of my life years earlier I could have avoided years of anxiety and depression. Limit your contact to the minimum possible, and if you can, keep the holidays for yourself.
Jul 19 btmom commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: My 13-Year-Old Son Is Watching Gay Porn.
People, people - I had no trouble getting porn when I was 13 - in 1976. Don't underestimate kids.
May 12 btmom commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: I've Looked At Accidental Anal From Both Sides Now.
Okay, this is for the women who say they've been on the receiving end of accidental anal: do you actually LET the guy immediately go back to your vagina? Doesn't that result in the death infection from hell? It's not as if you had the chance to prep your butt and make it cleaner than normal. If it was me, I'd be "time out - wash up and we'll start over!"
Mar 22 btmom commented on .
Holy shite. OP, I know it sounds callous, but if you are not opposed to abortion, it IS your best option, because eighteen years anchored to this unstable liar will make your life hell. And if you decide to go forward, yes, get a good lawyer NOW.
Mar 1 btmom commented on An Anti-Gay Republican Politician Claims He Has Gay Friends.
Not all bigots and racists are Republicans, but it's usually a fair guess.
Oct 7, 2015 btmom commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: She Can't Unread That.
I write things down when I'm upset/angry, often on my computer. If I save them, I give them filenames that are misdirecting (i.e. "shopping" or "taxes") or if really toxic, I lock the file with a password. Precautions are a good thing