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May 6, 2014 ravished commented on SL Letter of the Day: Don't Sext Momma!.
yay, so nice to have a bit of uplifting reading! thanks Dan and LW!
May 2, 2014 ravished commented on SL Letter of the Day: The Erotic Power of a Troublesome Word.
@36: Like. So incisive and sensitive.

I feel many other commenters treat kink (this one and kink in general) as just an extra topping, rather than somehow integral to a sub or a dom's personal identity.

I'm thinking ... if it was a 6-year relationship, I'd definitely say the BF is entrusting the LW with a vulnerable part of his sexual and personal make up; take it or risk losing him. At 6 months, well ... harder to say. It could be a test to see how far this relationship could go.
Sep 3, 2013 ravished commented on Savage Love.
BARK: go on! take the offer!
Aug 30, 2013 ravished commented on SL Letter of the Day: The Lost Boy.
Perfect, perfect response from Dan, not only for the self-hating Christian gay but for the LW. He needed a jolt from all this "I hurt for him so much" emotional bullshit that is understandable but definitely not helpful.
Aug 25, 2013 ravished commented on Jeremy Abbott's Idiotic Spin.
Under Apartheid South Africa, black people could choose to keep their heads down and to become useful lackeys by helping white bosses control other black people, in factories, the police force, in the separate "homelands" which gave the illusion of political power. They led relatively stable lives that could even have been materially and financially comfortable, as long as the Apartheid system remained in place.

So, it was not true that just because you had black skin, it meant that *in all cases*, you will lead a life of poverty and misery. It's about the choices you make in life, right? In Apartheid South Africa, you had the choice of being "African" (within the racial classification system), or you could choose to be "black" (in Steve Biko's sense of the word). And, yes, there are consequences to the choices you make in your life. You could choose to participate in the subjugation, imprisonment and murder of people like you, or you could choose to be part of the betterment of life, of liberation, of living according to your conscience.

Hate to add to the stupid; but since the stupid tried to banish the historical lesson of Apartheid to the margins of Godwin's Law, I felt I had to chip in.
Jul 3, 2013 ravished commented on It Says Right There In Deuteronomy That It's a Sin to Establish Your Own Kingdom in the Video Room.
@18: even from just 34 comments, there are already 2 or 3 (including me) who had encountered a version of this douchebag in their pasts. That's nearly 10%, a larger percentage than teh gayz in the general population. He is not just an isolated nut case ...
Jun 20, 2013 ravished commented on This Is a Big Fucking Deal: Exodus International Offs Itself.
I don't care as much about its being a "scam" or "re-branding" or not, or whether they've budged on their anti-gay views. Personally, just to hear that this particular beast has died, gave me a sort of sigh of relief, and I hadn't noticed that there were still stones clogging me up inside called "Exodus" and "ex-gay". Just to know that this thing called "Exodus" is now killed, dead, buried, will start transforming my memory in a positive way. And from what Chambers stated, it seems that he knows this to be true for many, many gay people out there.
May 31, 2013 ravished commented on Savage Love.
@mydriasis: community policing of abuse in a defined circle of support (school, neighbourhood, co-workers...) is useful and is rooted in our humane responses to fellow human beings, but I don't think the original situation points to a concern/freak out about abuse; it was the ick-factor when confronted with D/s.

Many responses has caricatured all D/s PDA as a) done for others to see; b) theatrically big; c) humiliating. Leaving aside a) and b), the actual practitioners of D/s who have written in here show that it is the opposite of c) that drives their PDA. (Some may, but not all, perhaps not even most.) This gives off a different vibe, and triggers some people's ick-radar instead of crime watch.
May 31, 2013 ravished commented on Savage Love.
The sentence "most everyone at the gym is freaked" does not necessarily report the actual situation, but could instead reflect the bias behind this person's impulse to police others' behaviour, the belief that s/he upholds a social standard transgressed by PDA with a D/s bent.

Even then, the LW didn't complain of being freaked out by abuse, but by D/s, as someone above has noted.
May 29, 2013 ravished commented on Savage Love.
Well done Dan. The hysterical policing of kink in this thread -- not tolerant reminders to "tone it down a bit", but shrill "don't FLAUNT it in my face!!!" --- is the direct result of your reducing BDSM into just something that one does.