Bio
I'm a dude, playin a dude, disguised as another dude.
TMI
- Vampire or Zombie
- God is: Imaginary
- Dicks or Vaginas
Jun 11, 2011
bakum commented on Stupid Fucking Anti-Vaccine Hippies.
bakum commented on Stupid Fucking Anti-Vaccine Hippies.
Whatever you think of big pharma, measles/mumps/rubella/etc KILLS CHILDREN IN DROVES. Big bunches of dead kids that we don't have anymore because of vaccines.. Just try to remember that because it's really freaking important.
May 25, 2011
bakum commented on Yeah. We're Feminists. Do Something About It..
bakum commented on Yeah. We're Feminists. Do Something About It..
@158 - I am and am not making unusual choices in my life.
My wife and I live an amazingly nuclear family existence. I am a high-powered technology/business consultant by day, she a stay at home mom. I spend days in boardrooms, she just sewed her first dresses. She gave up her career to become a full-time mother, both because the financials were undeniable and also because, shocking to her feminist, uber-liberal self, that's what she wanted.
But I am proud to say ~every~ Saturday is what I call Daddy day. My wife goes off somewhere on her own for about six hours and I takeover toddler patrol (identical twins, girls). We started just to give her a break, and we called it Mommy day. But now I call it Daddy day because honestly I do it more for me than for her. Because I want my girls not just to see me as the guy who makes the money (which they will) but also as a nurturing, loving father who has always been there ~with~ them, someone who was affectionate and supportive without fail. More than anything I want my girls when they grow up and begin dating (should they be straight) to expect men to be emotionally mature, decent, hardworking, honest, and kind. I do it because my own father was a difficult man to be around, and because my mother is an ardent feminist, and because I never fit in the male "box." I do it because honestly there is NO better feeling I've ever had than sitting on the floor reading to my girls and they start to climb all over me, helping me read sort of and giving me kisses. It is a joy 90% of the fathers that I know absolutely do not ever let themselves feel and I think that is a real crime.
So that sounds like I'm making it up or maybe being funny but it's all true. I like to think I'm changing the world two toddlers at a time. Also it makes every single other mother we've ever met insanely jealous which is fun.
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My wife and I live an amazingly nuclear family existence. I am a high-powered technology/business consultant by day, she a stay at home mom. I spend days in boardrooms, she just sewed her first dresses. She gave up her career to become a full-time mother, both because the financials were undeniable and also because, shocking to her feminist, uber-liberal self, that's what she wanted.
But I am proud to say ~every~ Saturday is what I call Daddy day. My wife goes off somewhere on her own for about six hours and I takeover toddler patrol (identical twins, girls). We started just to give her a break, and we called it Mommy day. But now I call it Daddy day because honestly I do it more for me than for her. Because I want my girls not just to see me as the guy who makes the money (which they will) but also as a nurturing, loving father who has always been there ~with~ them, someone who was affectionate and supportive without fail. More than anything I want my girls when they grow up and begin dating (should they be straight) to expect men to be emotionally mature, decent, hardworking, honest, and kind. I do it because my own father was a difficult man to be around, and because my mother is an ardent feminist, and because I never fit in the male "box." I do it because honestly there is NO better feeling I've ever had than sitting on the floor reading to my girls and they start to climb all over me, helping me read sort of and giving me kisses. It is a joy 90% of the fathers that I know absolutely do not ever let themselves feel and I think that is a real crime.
So that sounds like I'm making it up or maybe being funny but it's all true. I like to think I'm changing the world two toddlers at a time. Also it makes every single other mother we've ever met insanely jealous which is fun.
May 25, 2011
bakum commented on Yeah. We're Feminists. Do Something About It..
bakum commented on Yeah. We're Feminists. Do Something About It..
I think only a fool would argue that it's equally likely for similarly talented women and men to achieve success in many areas of American life. And maybe that's where Seandr's argument style falls short a little, but it seems to me he's perhaps being hyperbolic. Meaning that while certainly disparities do exist, addressing them through the lens of advancing women and not men is to miss half of the solution. Because the ~social~ forces that drive men to self-actualize through violence or success in their career or sports...at the expense of the development of every other aspect of themselves (their emotional maturity, their nurturing, etc) are forces that push men to subjugate women. In other words, without getting into the granular details, the goal should be to recognize women's achievements with equality AND to recognize men's worth through things besides their achievements. And I say hyperbolic because he's perhaps exaggerating some of the granularities to make the larger point that "Feminism" is missing something vital.
Personally I think unless men are given the space to be valuable to society for something besides how much money they make, or how much ass they can kick, that's all they are going to do. They're going to need someone to make less money and/or someone's ass to kick. And that's women. Sucks but that's as real as anything I think.
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Personally I think unless men are given the space to be valuable to society for something besides how much money they make, or how much ass they can kick, that's all they are going to do. They're going to need someone to make less money and/or someone's ass to kick. And that's women. Sucks but that's as real as anything I think.
May 25, 2011
bakum commented on Yeah. We're Feminists. Do Something About It..
bakum commented on Yeah. We're Feminists. Do Something About It..
@146 and @147, see now when I read Seandr what I hear him saying is that both men and women are trapped in a set of imposed structures and that feminism gives short attention to the both the structures that men are trapped in and the effects of same. As I think about that statement I a) agree with it and b) think of it as problematic for both men AND women. Further, I think it's a short trip to think that the structures that men are trapped in actually have a large impact on the way men treat women in this culture, and that women would have a vested interest in breaking them down. This is not, I think, all that controversial. In particular, nowhere do I read him implying that the "world is fine" or that "anyone who works hard will be fine." I mean, I think that pretty much proves the point that there's a lot of reactionary, ideology-based stuff being flung about.
May 25, 2011
bakum commented on Yeah. We're Feminists. Do Something About It..
bakum commented on Yeah. We're Feminists. Do Something About It..
@145 - So you seem to be saying Seandr is right, that feminism is about promoting women's rights instead of men's rights. I'm not saying that's wrong necessarily, but I've read him get a lot of guff over the past 24 hours on that very point.
May 25, 2011
bakum commented on Yeah. We're Feminists. Do Something About It..
bakum commented on Yeah. We're Feminists. Do Something About It..
sorry for the double post, all.
May 25, 2011
bakum commented on Yeah. We're Feminists. Do Something About It..
bakum commented on Yeah. We're Feminists. Do Something About It..
I actually tend to sympathize with a lot of what SeanDR says however for my money feminism needs to be considered in an entirely feminine context. Thinking about what Feminism is through the lens of masculine behavior/attitudes/predilections is to miss what Feminism is. It's like the difference between masculine and feminine communication. If you analyze feminine communication according to masculine point scale of course it's not going to "score well." But if you put feminine communication on a feminine index it makes perfect sense. And understand I know that "masculine" in ~this~ context implies "standard" or "normal" but that's not what I mean. I'm a man and so I'm trying to draw distinctions, but I'm an egalitarian so no value judgement is intended.
Anyhoo...maybe it would be more illustrative for the mens in the audience to think of it as Feminine-ism, rather than Feminism. Something like the promotion of the "feminine" (which we all have in us to varying degrees, both males and females) as opposed to the promotion of "women." In that way I think it is actually closer to what SeanDR means by Humanism. It just happens to originate from a context where women are sick of taking a bunch of crap from men so to "men" it sounds like an attack on men. When it's not. Generally. Andrea Dworkin aside.
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Anyhoo...maybe it would be more illustrative for the mens in the audience to think of it as Feminine-ism, rather than Feminism. Something like the promotion of the "feminine" (which we all have in us to varying degrees, both males and females) as opposed to the promotion of "women." In that way I think it is actually closer to what SeanDR means by Humanism. It just happens to originate from a context where women are sick of taking a bunch of crap from men so to "men" it sounds like an attack on men. When it's not. Generally. Andrea Dworkin aside.
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