in the past hour Jina commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Smacking Sense into an Ass-Smacking Father.
Fichu @26 - in my opinion? The right thing would be to say "hey, can you not do that again? I don't really appreciate it." If you think this might embarrass them in front of their friends, and assuming they're not some huge a-hole in general who laughs at things like "grab them by the pussy" and tells people to lighten up if they express disapproval, take them aside and say it. Saying nothing, or merely giving a glare, is the kind of passive aggressive thing that makes guys complain that women expect them to read their minds.

If they are of the aforementioned a-hole type, though, a good pantsing or wedgie would be an acceptable alternative.
8:24 AM Jina commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Smacking Sense into an Ass-Smacking Father.
Fichu @19 - "For instance, if a casual friend slapped your ass in a bar, would you furiously tell him not to do it again, or would you glare, move away, and not to speak to him until you'd heard sincere apologies and promises not to do such a thing again that began with him?"

I'd hope one would say something to a casual friend or even a total stranger, not just glare and move away. In my experience, people who do things like that don't think that it's wrong until someone - preferably a third party - tells them, and even then they usually shrug it off and say the other person is just overreacting. The human instinct to never admit we did something wrong is just that strong.

I agree with the rest of your post in general, but since my father is a lot like the LW's father, I had to disagree with that one. I went to Korea to visit him when I was 24, and one day he just opened the door and walked into the bathroom while I was taking a bath to tell me (not "ask," "tell") a few errands he wanted me to take care of. When I furiously told him to get out, he got annoyed and basically said "what's the big deal, I'm your father, it's not like I've never seen you in the bath, and this is important." It wasn't until my mother called him from the US to yell at him that he said he wouldn't do it again - not because he thought he'd done anything wrong (he probably still doesn't think he did anything wrong), but because our whole family made such a fuss about it and it wasn't worth the hassle for him.

10+ years later, my father is still pretty narcissistic, but he's gotten a little better about being accommodating, now that most of our family have distanced ourselves from him in order to maintain our boundaries, and he finally realized how much he'd pushed everyone away with his demands. My contact with him is fairly limited now, but that's mostly his choice and not mine (I did something he will never get over - married not just a non-Korean, but a white guy). Whenever he reaches out to me or comes to the US to visit, I accede to his requests, but otherwise I don't talk to him much. And frankly, I don't think that's a bad thing.
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2:19 PM yesterday Jina commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: The Italian Job.
@18 Harriet_by_the_bulrushes - I don't know about Aussie vernacular either, but having read more British novels than is probably healthy for me, I've seen "visiting with [person]" used as "going [somewhere] to visit [person]" many times.

@21 DonnyKlicious - I don't know about going and breaking up on arrival. I think it would be cruel if the boyfriend is looking forward to fun sexytimes, only to be blindsided when he goes to meet her at the airport. I agree that a face-to-face break-up is ideal, except when it requires the other person to go through a lot of effort to do so, since I think it's incumbent on the break-up-er to make it as easy as possible on the break-up-ee. In this case, making CIAO's boyfriend go through the anticipation of his girlfriend visiting and spending time and money to plan things and travel to the airport just seems like adding insult to injury. I completely agree with Capricornus @14, break up with him over the phone and let him decide how he wants to proceed from there, but she should totally take the trip to Italy. If he's open to still hanging out with her in Italy, it might even be a good way to end their relationship on a positive note - they can have great memories in Italy to remember the relationship, without false expectations or guilt or pressure to keep up the facade.
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Apr 27 Jina commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Getting Off Guilt-Free.
@Pridge Wessea - I don't think the LW is implying that no one has ever heard of fandom or video game porn, just that maybe *Dan* hasn't (seeing as how he doesn't seem to be a gamer, or if he is, he never mentions it) and that maybe it's something he can recommend to others in the future. I've suggested anime porn (aka hentai and its many subclasses like yaoi and yuri) on these boards before for people who are concerned about mistreatment of actors as well, since it's an option that most people who aren't into anime don't really know about.
Apr 26 Jina commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: How to Satisfy a Troglodyte.
@14 LavaGirl - I heard something about that trend too. Apparently it's called "stealthing."
Apr 26 Jina commented on Savage Love.
I read HUSBAND's letter as his wife wanting to do a test-run of a relationship with her friend without the actual risks of having an affair. HUSBAND probably feels threatened because he feels that, if the relationship goes well, she would dump HUSBAND for the friend (at the risk of sounding sexist, a lot of women are prone to believing that they are THE ONE for whom a man will change his ways and life. Hence the popularity of series like Twilight and 50 Shades of Gray). And if the friend doesn't show any signs of leaving his wife for her, it becomes "I just wanted a fling, it's not like I LOVED him or anything" and she has the safety net of her marriage to go back to.

I agree with #7 ChiTodd and #9 unknown_entity, this sounds a lot like wanting to have her cake and eating it too.
Apr 12 Jina commented on Savage Love.
EmmaLiz@41 - I was actually mostly reacting to BiDanFan's initial post @11 - "Come here so I can slap you repeatedly about the fucking face. Your question literally made me aaaarggghhh out loud. HAVE YOU NOT HEARD THE FREAKING 'B' WORD, YOU MORON?" It just seemed a bit harsh to say to someone who's young and probably has never knowingly met a bisexual person before. Again, I chose to comment because I don't think it's nice to call people names, whether it's "idiot," (which she also used; see the quote in my first post) or "moron," just because they don't know the same things that you do. Doesn't mean they're stupid, just that they're ignorant or didn't have the chance to find out. For example, my mother thought that "oral sex" meant "talking about sex" until 2004, and was shocked when she found out what it actually was. She's not stupid, she just never had any reason to think about it or be interested in it until something made her find out.

Ricardo @49 - I could be wrong about Dan believing in the existence of bisexual people, but I do distinctly remember he was very biphobic just a few years ago and people in these very comments section would criticize him for it. In his defense, he seems to have eased up a bit since then, or at least stopped pushing it. But I mostly remember this because it was the first time I had come across LGBT discrimination within the LGBT community, and it surprised me.

I did a bit of Googling, and found this opinion piece about Dan and biphobi… Here's a quote from it: "In the 2008 documentary, Bi the Way, Dan said “I meet someone who’s 19-years-old who tells me he’s bisexual and I’m like, ’Yeah, right, I doubt it. I tell them come back when you’re like 29 and we’ll see.'” That doesn't really sound like "a lot of gay people do this, but bisexuals do exist," it sounds more like "bisexuals exist, YEAH RIGHT they're just closet cases in denial." You even said it yourself - "they stop lying to themselves," emphasis on the word "lying." In other words people who claim to be bisexual are just lying to themselves, and it's just a matter of time before they come clean and pick a side. I'm not sure how that translates into not denying the existence of bisexuals?

I'm really not trying to vilify Dan or discredit him or anything, by the way. I really only brought it up to show that it's possible for someone could read Dan's column and still not understand bisexuality.
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Apr 12 Jina commented on Savage Love.
@34 BiDanFan - the Internet existed 15 years ago too. And it wasn't that long ago that even Dan didn't really think bisexual people existed. Heck, it wasn't that long ago that Dan would publish letters from women who were married to men who came out as bi, then eventually confessed that they were actually gay and "Dan, what do I do?" So even if CAC has been reading Dan for years, unless she's been reading all of the columns and comments and Dan's posts on SLOG, it's quite feasible that she never really had to think about the existence or non-existence of bisexual people, and that it was just an abstract concept to her until it came crashing into reality in the form of her previously-assumed-to-be-straight boyfriend.

Anyways, I just don't think it's nice to call people idiots because they don't have the same life experience as you, and may not know the same things as you.
Apr 12 Jina commented on Savage Love.
@21 BiDanFan - "Emma @20: "There are still plenty of people who don't believe that bi people exist." Yes. They're called idiots."

Or, sometimes, just really sheltered? I was probably about as naive as CAC was when I was 20, in that I vaguely knew about homosexuality and transgender but had never heard of bisexual. Granted, that was about 15 years ago and Internet use wasn't quite as prevalent then, but it isn't difficult for me to believe that some kids are still that sheltered, especially when you factor in different cultural and societal standards, like where you live and what your parents are like. For example, I knew a trans person in their mid-20s around that time, and that person didn't even know the word "transgender" until they came out to me. It was a secret they had kept their entire lives because they honestly thought that they were the only person in the entire world who felt like they were born into the wrong body and felt ashamed of being "weird." They were astounded when I said "so you're trans?" and did an Internet search and discovered entire websites dedicated to being trans. My point is, being ignorant is not the same as being an idiot. CAC may have been told all her life that bi is not real (especially since she's young enough to have grown up on songs like "I Kissed a Girl" and when the whole bar-curious thing was a fad), and if so, it's going to take a while for her to wrap her head around the idea that being bisexual is totally possible. Only time will tell if she's going to come around to it eventually, or if she'll be one of those deniers who shut their eyes and ears to facts.

Re SHOTDOWN, I wonder if the girlfriend is just really old-fashioned, or married really young and has only been with one guy, and is afraid to try anything different? I can easily see a 42-year-old being raised with the idea that anything but missionary is disrespectful or demeaning to women, or being scared to admit that she's not really very sexually experienced at her age. Or even that she did try it with her ex, and maybe he was really bad at it and he's her only point of reference, so she simply concluded that she's not into those things.
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Mar 22 Jina commented on Trump Doesn't Give Two Shits About His Supporters (And Neither Should You).
@62 Theophilus - I wrote out a lengthy response, then noticed that you used "we" to refer to yourself and realized who you were, which is why I'm going to stop responding now.

@63 TheMisanthrope - she may be inching her way back into the spotlight, but that doesn't mean her opinion or actions will be heavily influential or shape policy, especially with the current administration in place. I personally think it's very unlikely that she would run for president again. If nothing else, she now has a track record of losing first to a little-known junior senator, and then losing again to the most unelectable person in history. Not exactly an encouraging sign. And other than a few tweets commenting on current social issues, I've seen nothing to indicate that Chelsea is looking to get into politics. I'd be very surprised if either of them ran for anything in 2020.