cockyballsup
report this user
Apr 25 cockyballsup commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: How to Satisfy a Troglodyte.
I think some posters are reading a little too much between the lines and their maligning of the LW is not justified by the available evidence. In my experience, the lower libido partner is often perfectly satisfied with the taper in frequency, so you may well be blaming the victim here. Piling on guys who feel justified in prioritizing having lots of sex is just another kind of slut-shaming. A woman writing this letter would be considered empowered, but the man is described as entitled, incompetent, and rapey.
Apr 21 cockyballsup commented on Savage Love.
I don't know if there is any good solution for the couple with different sleep schedules. Waking up with a partner insistently frotting his dick into my back (without my making any indication of consent) irritates the hell out of me (and feels slightly assaulty), and I find the idea of sex slightly repulsive until the afternoon, when the switch flips. I can understand someone being the other way around, and nobody should be forced into sex when they find the idea distasteful, even in marriage. Maybe there is a magic in between time (say noonish) when both the LW and his wife would be in the mood.
Apr 6 cockyballsup commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: After 15 Years, Her Husband Still Looks Like A Child & She's Not Into It.
As Jade said, but it bears repeating, do ask him to grow a beard before taking drastic steps. It may just flip the switch in your mind. I know beards can totally flip my switch to on (and a baby-faced guy shaving his beard can totally flip my switch off).
Apr 2 cockyballsup commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: PrEP and Prejudice.
For the commenters assuming that it is so easy to get laid on Grindr, where do you get your data from? It is certainly not the experience of my circle, most of whom are HIV-. We are not in large cities, but I am not even sure it is the case there.
Mar 24 cockyballsup commented on Savage Love.
...just like you should ask if it matters to you that a single woman has children.
Mar 24 cockyballsup commented on Savage Love.
Not everyone who is married wears rings - that is not even true in all Western countries. Where I am from the (traditional) attitude is that rings are jewelry and thus only worn by women. So in a melting pot like the U.S. I certainly would not make assumptions based on the absence of a wedding ring on a man. If it matters to you if a man is married, ask.
Mar 24 cockyballsup commented on I, Anonymous: Stop Hawking Your Loogies on the Sidewalk.
Here in the Northeast it used to be common behavior back in the 90s when I first moved here from another country where I had never seen it. I was stunned and disgusted by what I assumed to be an American custom. However, for some (welcome, but unexplained) reason people stopped doing it, so that nowadays I almost never see it around here.
Mar 23 cockyballsup commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: How Many Flakes Does It Take to Make A Flake A Real Flake?.
Flakers of any age are usually trying to show you that they are not that intested but can't bring themselves to say the (unkind) words out loud. Having been brought up as the good boy who should live up to the highest expectations and where disappointing people is a cardinal sin, I can relate to flakers, and I have been one. At the age of 50, though, one would expect the LW to have learned the implied air quotes around repeated excuses of "sick" and "lost my phone," unless the LW is rather inexperienced with hooking/dating, which is also possible (and nothing to be ashamed of).
Mar 11 cockyballsup commented on Savage Love.
It is unethical to pretend to be available if you aren't, but a one-night stand is not, in my opinion, an implicit declaration of marital status in today's culture.

Explicitly ask about dealbreakers or shut up. Otherwise, where would it stop? Being a liberal would be considered a dealbreaker by some, but unless asked, do you really have to disclose it before you hate-fuck a Republican?
Mar 11 cockyballsup commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Should I Warn My Mom's New Girlfriend About My Mom?.
This is bad advice. I've warned one of a couple before on two occasions and, though eventually proven right both times, I've lived to regret it in both instances. He or she always immediately informs the other partner and it blows up in your face. It also temporarily pushes them closer (because now they have a common enemy, you) and delays the eventual natural resolution of the issue. And you will remain the enemy forever.

Sometimes you just have to let adults make their own mistakes. Scratch that: Always.