Jun 27, 2011
joined My Stranger Face
Jun 27, 2011
commented on Bisexuals
I've tried coming out as bi - and I was laughed at and ignored by the LGBT community. They don't believe me.
Bi people don't have a good coming-out narrative. Coming out as gay is so dramatic -- "Hey! I'm actually opposite from what you thought I was! Look, I'm dating someone from the opposite sex!" When you come out as bi, usually you don't radically alter your relationship structure, because you've already found something that works (or doesn't work). There's no "true love" story that maps exactly to your sexuality -- so you're bi, does that mean you have to have one of each to be happy?
So, I'm mostly out, but I usually don't mention anything when I'm in mixed gay-straight company because I'm tired of explaining or being avoided by gay people. Avoided. By perfectly nice people who suddenly see me as a predator or a poser or a voyeur or whatever.
So, yeah, maybe more of us should be out, but what do we get? There's already a gay rights movement, and gay people like to tell us that we're not oppressed enough for a whole movement. We don't get a dramatic coming-out party. We don't automatically get a shiny new love interest.
"You can pass." Yep, I can pass. And you'll just have to deal with it if I'm in your bar because that's where I feel comfortable, well, right up until I told you I was bi.