Jun 27, 2011
mergatroid in megacity
commented on Bisexuals
oh dan savage. i get where you are coming from - sorta. yes, when you are young, it's easy to use the cloak of bisexuality as an easy catchall; it allows you to explore but also to back into the safety of being all "normal." the plausible deniability of bisexuality eases a lot of the sting. i get that you see it that way.
and in later years, when relationships seem to solidify and stabilize, it's still easy to see a person in a boy/girl partnering as "straight and a person in a boy/boy or girl/girl one as "gay." it's an easy binary; a monogamous bisexual person just gets shuttled into one side or the other, and with all the baggage that surrounds the b-word, really, why bother trying to identify with it anyway? it's such a maude-awful mess.
so sure, if you still have a problem with "bisexual," i'll take the bigger mouthful. "heteroromancic/homoerotic." there, it's a bit more accurate anyway; more romantically and intellectually attracted to men, but more physically attracted to women. but that's not even it, because it's the personality more than anything, that attracts me. body aesthetics are a part of it yes, as well as internalized social roles and my own quirks and particularities - and the ever present "can this person put up with my stuff? will i put up with theirs? can we inspire and grow and push and pull and make something better than just the two of us?" that kind of thing goes above and beyond gender lines and names and social mores. for me, anyway. there are so many deliciously gray areas in and among the polarities; human sexuality can be fluid, and putting boundaries in there with names and words and labels just mucks up the works.