Perhaps the ugliest truth of all is how many of us could not possible care less who is doing who anymore - or who did who two years before we met. Ugh, I am just sick of everyone complaining that they are not appreciated or respected enough when they insist I must know who they are fucking and are so hyper-defensive they feel the need to also tell me how I must feel about it when, hey, all I did was ask is to pass the salt.

@Dan Savage - all of the above having been expressed, I can sort of understand why bi-sexuals might think you are bi-phob because honestly I am confused about your having explained to more then one male caller/mailer that just because he likes to engage in the occasional encounter with another man that he is not gay and NOT bi-sexual either. He just has a little, uhm, penis fetish is all. Really??

I have been over this a dozen times in my head and I still don't get what is wrong with asking them to understand that - lucky them - they have a little room in their sexuality for both sexes? Why AREN'T they bi-sexual? I mean I didn't feel as though you were coming from a place of telling them it is okay to be 'a little bit country and a little bit rock'n'roll', but rather giving them this plausible deniability that they are completely hetro with a harmless little affinity for penises on the side. I don't recall you reenforcing that they need to come clean about this predilection to all their lovers. So understandably I am a little confused as to how to handle it if I had a boyfriend I thought was interested in the same sex.

Perhaps the ugliest truth of all is how many of us could not possible care less who is doing who anymore - or who did who two years before we met. Ugh, I am just sick of everyone complaining that they are not appreciated or respected enough when they insist I must know who they are fucking and are so hyper-defensive they feel the need to also tell me how I must feel about it when, hey, all I did was ask is to pass the salt.

@Dan Savage - all of the above having been expressed, I can sort of understand why bi-sexuals might think you are bi-phob because honestly I am confused about your having explained to more then one male caller/mailer that just because he likes to engage in the occasional encounter with another man that he is not gay and NOT bi-sexual either. He just has a little, uhm, penis fetish is all. Really??

I have been over this a dozen times in my head and I still don't get what is wrong with asking them to understand that - lucky them - they have a little room in their sexuality for both sexes? Why AREN'T they bi-sexual? I mean I didn't feel as though you were coming from a place of telling them it is okay to be 'a little bit country and a little bit rock'n'roll', but rather giving them this plausible deniability that they are completely hetro with a harmless little affinity for penises on the side. I don't recall you reenforcing that they need to come clean about this predilection to all their lovers. So understandably I am a little confused as to how to handle it if I had a boyfriend I thought was interested in the same sex.