Jun 27, 2011
commented on Bisexuals
In my late 20s, I fell in love with a more-gay-than-straight man. It was the hottest, most nurturing relationship of my life. Our community of feminist-fairy gay men were much more supportive of the relationship than the largely derisive dyke "community" I tried to connect with at the time and be out to as a bisexual woman.
Those wonderful gay men became extended family to us and told me that "Stonewall meant being able to love the person you love, regardless of gender combo." By contrast, gay women told me I was "fucking the enemy" and straight women just thought I must be confused.
What I learned then was that gender identity was not enough commonality to build friendships on, (OH hi, what do you do? I'm gay) while true support WAS, and it came to me from places I didn't expect.
I have always found it perplexing how intent many gay people are to cling to one end of kinsey's scale or the other like their lives depended on it.
Frankly, as I near 60, I don't see much draw to labeling myself in any specific way. It's never proved particularly useful to me. What being bi means to me is to be able to love the PERSON I'm attracted to.