Jun 28, 2011
joined My Stranger Face
Jun 28, 2011
commented on Bisexuals
Dan, you are a hero for starting the It Gets Better Project. It has saved and it it will save a lot of lives. On the topic of bisexuals, I think you’re getting better but I think you’re still a bully. I have to say that this column, which really made me angry at first, may actually do some good but I’m going to call you out on a few things.
The graphic in this column is bi-phobic. A circle with a line through a symbol for bisexuals? Ok, maybe you didn't choose it, but it's there and it set me off right away and added to the ‘Oh, Dan is off on another anti-bisexual rant again’. It’s not a good way to start, neither is saying "I'm not bi-phobic" because really, that's the first sign that you are.
You make some good points in this column. Certainly coming out as bi is the first step to getting rid of bi invisibility. I'm lucky to have lived in mostly major cities where I've been around lots of out bisexuals. I've been out as bi for more than half of my life. I figured it out in college where two of my good friends identified as bi. It was easy for me to figure out my sexual orientation. I know it's not easy for everyone. I never had a ‘maybe I’m really a lesbian’ period. At 18, I knew I liked men and women and I still do at 40.
Yes, you’re right that people should come out to their partners. I don’t think that’s limited to bisexuals. A lot of us are out to our partners and families about being bisexual. I am. My partners are bi. Everyone knows everyone else is bi and they are out about it.
We don’t all necessarily ‘disappear into presumed heterosexuality’ if we end up in long-term relationships between men and women. Some of us are out and loud and fighting for gay marriage and trying to end anti-gay bullying right along side you, Dan. And you should at least recognize that, if not thank us.
The biggest problem I have with this column is that I find the tone to be condescending. The positive thing I hope that will come from this is that you'll light a fire under the butts of people who may not be out as bi. If you accomplish getting people to come out, then that’s more important than pissing some of us off along the way.