Jun 29, 2011
joined My Stranger Face
Jun 29, 2011
commented on Bisexuals
I'm finding most of this contrary to my own experience. As a man in a committed relationship with another man for 30 years, a large number of my male friends identify as bisexual. However, a significant number of self-declared "bi" friends seem to be entirely heterosexual. It could be that they choose the bi label because, as sexual labels go, it's the most inclusive.
The big challenge is labelling. It's time that we viewed human sexual behaviour expressing a range of options based on emotional and physical need, that can change over time or based on situation. Instead of creating labels and stats like "X% of men are bisexual," we should consider statements like, "men tend to engage in same-sex sexual behaviour X% of the time." How we frame sexual behaviour has a significant impact on how we view ourselves and how others see us. It's time we stopped putting ourselves and other people into boxes. When we do, a compulsion to label ourselves as gay or straight or bi will no longer be needed.
We see the term "sexual preference" all the time, but few seem to understand its meaning. Human beings are driven to share sexual experience. Body parts and shapes are significant factors, along with unknown degress of hard-wiring and conditioning. Fear of same-sex behaviour seems to be entirely based on religious myth, after all. Putting ourselves into labelled boxes reinforces those myths. We are drawn to share sexual experience with others based on a large number of factors we shouldn't put in permanent boxes so readily.
I agree that absolute disclosure with life partners provides an critical foundation for relationship to avoid future drama. Who would want a life partner who would fear or reject part of our life experience?