Jul 28, 2013 Megaera commented on SL Letter of the Day: Chocolate City.
I don't know if you will come back to this thread, but just in case...

Thank you for your book. Due to serious chronic health problems, I had an extremely low libido. Also vaginal dryness which meant that the tissues were easily damaged and, once damaged, usually ended up with a yeast infection. I haven't been able to stick to the diet, but just regularly taking the fish oil you recommended has resulted in a lot less dryness, the complete end of recurrent bouts of thrush, and an increased libido. It really is amazing. Thank you again.
Jul 24, 2013 Megaera commented on Spitzer and Vitter—Clients—Get Second Chances and Public Redemption.
I actually think it is about cultural anxiety and distaste around sex. There's misogyny, yes, but I'll bet that male prostitutes with male clients get the same kind of hate.

I think it's anxiety around penetration and pollution, and the concept of penetration actually *being in itself* a pollution of the body. Because we have a screwed up attitude towards sex.

In some cultures, gay men who are strictly tops are not really considered to be gay, but those who are bottoms (ever) are considered not only gay but feminised and degraded.
Apr 19, 2013 Megaera commented on SL Letter of the Day: Mystery Bulk.
And, thinking about it, what about those artists who paint with their own faeces and urine? It always seemed to me that they were just having a laugh at the expense of the wealthy people who would buy their artwork. I imagine them being terribly serious when discussing the deeper meaning of their work with the purchaser, and then afterwards, at home, rolling about laughing: 'You might be richer than I am, but you have my crap hanging in your pretty mansion, and you even paid me a lot of money for it!"
Apr 19, 2013 Megaera commented on SL Letter of the Day: Mystery Bulk.
A friend's ex-stepfather used to collect dog-shit off the pavement and bring it back to a shed in their garden, where he would first dry it, and then grind it up in a coffee-grinder used only for that purpose. He had the idea that someday it would be a useful form of fuel... I don't know how the friend's mother put up with him for as long as she did.
Feb 3, 2013 Megaera commented on SL Letter of the Day: Independent But In Love.
I and my partner of 22 years lived separately for the first 8 years of our relationship. We spent most of our time in each other's space - weeks at a time, sometimes - but always each knew we had our own home to go to.

Neither of us ever felt entitled to criticise the other's living arrangements, whether it be housekeeping skills, staying up late, having noisy parties etc. because we didn't have to be there or put up with it if we didn't want to.

At any point, either of us could say: 'I need some headspace: I'll come back tomorrow,' and go home for a while, and the other would understand. We had a set arrangement that we would always spend Saturday afternoon and evening together, whether quietly at home together, or going out.

This all made it a lot easier when we needed to move in together for financial reasons. We were already pretty accustomed to living in each other's space, and dealing with each other's ways of doing things. Which is not to say that there were no tensions - of course there were - but it was pretty painless on the whole.
Jan 30, 2013 Megaera commented on SL Letter of the Day: Be a Little Selfish.
If it isn't a cuckold fetish, I wonder how well somebody that timid would deal with watching a stranger (to him) have rough sex with his girlfriend. If he won't hit her because he's too sensitive / anxious about hurting her, wouldn't watching someone else 'hurt' her be a bit stressful?
Jan 26, 2013 Megaera commented on SL Letter of the Day: Pop a Cap.
Reverse Polarity: It really depends on the way the guy is looking at you (for me, anyway). An admiring glance is a great ego-boost. On the other hand, a guy who looks at you as though he's assessing whether you are fit-for-purpose, or as though he's perving on you, feels absolutely vile and objectifying.
Jan 17, 2013 Megaera commented on SL Letter of the Day: Forever On the Internet.
@18: How about an ex-prostitute who is disabled and impoverished, living in a trailer, who spends most of her time and a significant part of her very limited income rescuing and caring for abused animals? Would that do you?

In some areas, at least, prostitutes have been in the front lines, educating their clients about the risks of HIV and AIDS.

The full story says that the woman in question only went into porn during a period of impoverishment, in order to support herself. What about the woman who went into prostitution because her full time job simply did not cover the costs of the medical bills for her son who had cerebral palsy?

If you're going to judge at all (and 'judge not, let ye yourselves be judged') then the time to do that is when there is universal health care, free at the point of service, and an adequate safety net for those who would otherwise fall through the cracks of society.

And while there are a lot of women who go into porn or prostitution out of sheer desperation and need, there are some - perhaps many - who do so because they *choose* to do so, and *it is their right to make that choice for their lives!* They are doing less harm - and a great deal more good - than those who work in munitions factories; those who shill for the NRA; those who continue to profit from fracking despite knowing that they are endangering the health of nearby residents; and those who profit from child slave labour, lining their pockets with the additional income they accrue abusing children in order to avoid employing adults at a living wage.

There has to be a sense of proportion here. Seriously! We should save our moral outrage for those things which are truly outrageous. Like a 12-year-old boy in the US dying of brain inflammation because his parents couldn't afford to take him to see a dentist. Now *that* is worthy of outrage. And tears.
Jan 11, 2013 Megaera commented on SL Letter of the Day: Someone Missed the Cougar Meme.
@28 I was wondering the same thing myself. And wondering why LW has such outrage about her mother's behaviour, but can't see how amazingly unethical her own is in this regard.
Jan 10, 2013 Megaera commented on SL Letter of the Day: A Hopeful Thank-You Note.
I'm sorry to pile on, Beccoid, I know you've had a lot of people give you a hard time already, but I have a couple of points to make that haven't already been made.

Speaking *as a parent,* I believe that my (gay) 13 year old daughter is entitled to privacy. As it happens, she is very open with me, so I'm pretty clear on what she is (and is not) up to. But teens have a right to privacy about their romantic and private lives just as adults do: they are not *obligated* to tell us parents anything on that level, and it would be unreasonable for us to expect it, though I do welcome it when she chooses to share.

I also think it's self-deluding for any parent to believe that their teen tells them 'everything:' it's possible, but unlikely.

Also, while it may be alienating for a teen to live at home and not be out of the closet, it would be a whole lot more alienating to live at home with parents who disapprove of and are disappointed in you (and make sure you know it and feel it) not because you have done anything wrong, but for their own philosophical reasons. It has been distressing and alienating enough for me to come out to my parents as bi as an adult. I cannot imagine how painful and uncomfortable it would be for a teen who has nowhere else to go, even if said disapproving parents are not actually abusive.

Teens are at a time of life when they are developing independence and learning to go it alone, including making their own decisions. While I want my teen to benefit from my experiences, and hope that she will come to me or her dad to talk things through, I also recognise that I am not the same person as her, so I do not necessarily know what is best for her on a romantic level. I also think that she is more likely to come to either of us when she has a problem precisely *because* she knows that we respect her and her autonomy as an individual.