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John, speaker to computers
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Jan 31, 2012 John, speaker to computers commented on Ever Wanted to Hear Ira Glass Give Sex Advice?.
... So, who is this guy?

He spent so much time stammering and repeating his words that I was shocked to hear that his day job is radio - is he normally better? Based on his performance here, I have *zero* interest in looking him up, because WOW that was annoying.

Once he figured out what to say he was okay, but before then?

Who is this guy and why should I know him, again?

(yes, yes, Wikipedia. I'm not American, this is still the first I've heard of him, and WOW he has an excellent voice for mime.)
Sep 12, 2011 John, speaker to computers commented on Tattoo of the Day.
@9: "Brakes", and it's a fixie, a fixed-gear bicycle. You brake by bracing your feet against the motion of the pedals - when the pedals are stopped, the rear wheel is stopped.
Sep 1, 2011 John, speaker to computers commented on Nutter Evangelical Types In Tongues On Her Facebook Page.
@16: Possession is what happens to the UNPOPULAR kids.
Aug 9, 2011 John, speaker to computers commented on Savage Love Episode 251.
For the guy giving feedback who basically read my comment from last week: You made one super-critical mistake in your call. When the popup asks you if you want something, you do not say "no". You do not say ANYTHING. No matter what you click, you're clicking something, meaning you're telling the browser to do the action that page has set for when you click.

Which is to say, "No" means "yes" means "please run the program Mr Browser, I have told you that it is okay and you have my blessing".

The only correct response to a popup is to close the popup, and BE CAREFUL. Make sure you're not clicking on a "close" button inside the popup, that's "infect me". Make sure you're not clicking on a fake "X" button that's been placed inside the popup (like, a popup of a window that itself has a *fake* popup inside it - make sure you close the OUTER window, you don't click on the fake "inner" window.)

And, really, if a site throws popups, it is a virus-infested shithole by definition, and you should not get your porn from there. Get your porn from reliable, reputable places - or at least ones where you can clearly vet content before opening it, and where you're not getting this kind of attack.
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Aug 4, 2011 John, speaker to computers joined My Stranger Face
Aug 4, 2011 John, speaker to computers commented on Savage Love Episode 250.
For the kid who caught the virus from the porn site: I could make a joke about always practicing safe net, but that would be cruel. Instead, I have good news for you: a standard cleanup will give no indication of where the virus came from, and if your mom is the kind of person who needs to take the machine in to a tech instead of fixing it herself, the person actually doing the work is probably going to have *zero* interest in digging. So what will MOST LIKELY happen is that your mom will tell the tech that the machine has a virus, that you got it by clicking on an ad by mistake, and that she thinks you were probably surfing for porn at the time. Don't kid yourself, she knows - but you're denying it and she's pretending to believe you, and everyone is happier. The tech will wince and fix the problem, but at no point with *either one of them* know what site you were looking at unless they very specifically go looking for that information.

For the future, I've got advice for making sure this kind of thing never, ever happens again.

First: Stop using Internet Explorer. Switch to Google Chrome or Mozilla Firefox for your web browsing needs. The feature set is similar, but it's the add-ons to Chrome and Firefox that really make a difference. They look similar, they work in similar ways, and after an hour or two you won't even notice that you've changed web browsers.

Second: Install an ad-blocking plugin to your browser. This is why I suggested Firefox and Chrome, they've both got good ones. In Firefox, install "Adblock Plus" from the add-ons menu, and once you restart your browser, tell it to subscribe to "easylist". Poof, most of the malicious ads will simply disappear so you don't have to worry about clicking on them any more. Any ads that remain, you can get rid of by right-clicking on them and choosing "adblock image". Chrome's blocker is very similar.

Third: Firefox and Chrome both have what's called "private browsing mode". It's a box you clik on a menu - and once you click it, your browser records *nothing*. It doesn't record your history, it doesn't keep a local copy of the web pages you've looked at, it doesn't record which files you downloaded - and it doesn't eliminate the records from BEFORE you started Private Browsing, so there's no obvious "you cleared your history" evidence. Turn it on before you surf porn, turn it back off when you're done.

Fourth: Learn the keyboard shortcuts. They're faster than a mouse click to make a suspicious page disappear. ALT-F4 closes the program (beware "are you sure?" dialog boxes - but you'd get those by clicking the little X, too), and WindowsKey-D brings the desktop to the front ahead of all your other programs. Both of those are faster and more reliable ways of making the program disappear. However, both of them make it obvious that you just closed something - so you might want to consider having a second browser window open the tvtropes.com or some other "eats your life for hours" site, and use alt-tab to throw the other window in front of your porn window when interrupted. That way, it looks like you weren't frantically closing things when your mom came down the stairs.

Fifth: The next time you get a virus infestation that your normal scanner won't clean up, start with a program called Malware Bytes Anti-Malware. Download it, install it, let it update itself, and run it - it will stop *a lot* of this kind of thing in it's tracks. And if it doesn't, oh well - you've taken my other advice, so you have no history, no record of sites, and you weren't caught red-handed, so you're probably just fine with your machine being sent to a tech for repair.

Good luck!
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