Sep 28, 2013 Frafor commented on So What You're Saying Is That No One Should Be Monogamous?.
Congratulations on such a clear approach to this subject! I like the expression “hard wired”: That explains it all! Somewhere within the structure of our cells and the way they interconnect with our brains—that of humans, I mean—there is a tendency to continue feeling naturally attracted to persons other than our “formal” significant other. Maybe what we whould review carefully, is the tendency of our social system to identify love with sex or vice versa. Maybe if we learned to separate sex, love, reproduction, fun, social gatherings, we would be able to enjoy all of those things with a higher degree of quality. However, when we mention the practical behavior that should be socially accepted, most people react negatively.

It's good to know about the “hard wiring” that would allow us all, humans, to make of our lives less demanding experiences and more enjoyable events.
Aug 18, 2011 Frafor joined My Stranger Face
Aug 18, 2011 Frafor commented on SL Letter of the Day: Arfing the Oints.
I find it difficult to see people actually getting rid of the concept of "relationship". Sex should have nothing to do (and I am absolutely serious about this) relationships or love. Sex should be a casual activity, a passing session. When we drink a good cup of coffee, we try to find what brand it is, so we can have another one, just like that. Finding IN OUR PRESENT SOCIAL CONDITIONS a sexual partner is like the major prize in a marathon and just like the "good coffee" we want to know the brand, that is, identify the partner and get a hold of him/her soon, again, anytime. Why not make it permanent? - And then we create "relationships" that eventually don't have anymore the meaning they had that first time we wanted to identify the potential partner we settled for at that moment. Honestly, it is difficult, given the kind of societies we have created, in which people relate for everything they do. You can't enter a restaurant full of people and simply sit down with anybody and talk about the food, the place, the weather, without asking for "who the other person is". And if you "don't know" the other person, you will eat alone, with a square face, simply because "how can you simply be with strangers?" Right? -- That's how incredibly complex and difficult we have made our lives be. We can not talk to anybody unless we "know" them: names and all that conforms the "identity". -- We need, honestly, to change this. And when a thing like that needs to be done, I don't know where to start or what to suggest in order to start. But we need to revolutionize the way we treat each other in the streets. Why do we have to know the name and ID of anybody we speak with? So we can repeat the experience some other time, because we liked it so much! Right? -- Try sitting with a stranger, he or she, talk about life, not about yourself or herself or himself. Why do you have to care what the other person does? Simply talk. Try to avoid identifying WHY you or the other persons says and thinks what they say and think.-- Sex is, on the other side, a dangerous territory: you can talk without the danger of getting aids. But about sex engagement, you need certainty that none of the partners is "infected". Also, sex carries the danger of pregnancy and you need to fake it using stuff to avoid pregnancy. But it would be good to start by being open in the relationships with people. We bring our "ego" and that's why we can't talk to "strangers". -- Women have come and sat by me, starting with: "Well, who do we have here?" Most of my experiences have turned to be much better if I insist on talking about our REAL inner selves, rather than one or more of our social "ego" identities. The first thing I avoid is my name: the guy at the window table, the girl at the counter. -- I know this is difficult, but we don need to make an effort to forget our social id's and let more our real inner selves talk to each other, especially with "strangers" but very much so with our daily human contacts.
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