TheLurker
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Dec 1, 2016 TheLurker commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: We Will Never Get Closure On CLOSURE.
FWIW I regard these kinds of relationship post-mortems as being a part of bargaining - in an alternate universe, if I had done XYZ other thing, we'd still be together.

That said, it really, really does hurt to be dumped suddenly and without explanation. And allegedly it's a hallmark of borderline personality disorder relationships. The LW needs to focus on taking care of himself and accept that there may not be real reasons for the breakup, but that doesn't make it any less permanent. Find a good therapist, and talk to them about you, not why your relationship ended. You'll feel better.
Aug 21, 2016 TheLurker commented on The New Ben-Hur: Same Chariot Race, Way More Jesus!.
@2: Yup. When it comes to Ben-Hur it's gay subtext or GTFO.
Mar 8, 2016 TheLurker commented on About Those Consent Is Simple PSAs....
@28: I'm looking at the NISVS right now. On page 18, it says that over their lifetimes, 18% of women are victims of rape, and on page 19, it says that 4.8% of men, lifetime, are "made to penetrate" others. Even if we just look at lifetime stats of unwanted sexual contact in general, it's a 2:1 ratio. (source: http://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pd…)

I do think it's questionable to separate out "made to penetrate" from "rape." But the math you're suggesting doesn't work.
Mar 8, 2016 TheLurker commented on About Those Consent Is Simple PSAs....
I'm a fan of dirty talk as consent-ask.

For example:

"I really want to grope your balls/come on your tits/shove my giant silicone dick in your ass right now."
"Oh, that sounds so hot..."/"Oh, it's hot that you want to do that, but how about if we did it through this hole in a sheet instead?"/"I'm not really feeling it right now, but thanks."/*silence or drunken gibberish is not consent.*

Easy enough! Doesn't kill the mood! Lets you be sure you're not being a rapist!
Feb 11, 2016 TheLurker commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Using "Crazy" Like That Is So Gay, Dan, Really Lame.
I think the best argument against using the word "crazy" to describe people's actions is that usually, it's not an accurate assessment of what's actually going on.

"Absurd," "irrational," "manipulative," "abusive," "hurtful," "self-serving," -- these might be accurate.

But "crazy" is just lazy hyperbole.
Feb 5, 2016 TheLurker commented on Sorry, CDC, but "Not Drinking" Is Definitely Not a Form of Birth Control.
So where's the analogous CDC infographic telling men that their risk of raping people goes up when they drink? Or killing people? Or getting STIs?

This is such patriarchal bullshit.
Nov 20, 2015 TheLurker commented on What Can You Do With Steve King's Gun?.
.... @4, I do want to take guns away from law-abiding citizens. Guns are designed to kill things at a distance, and often accidentally kill kids, or fall into the hands of the criminals folks are trying to protect themselves against. Guns make it really easy for someone feeling sad to make a really permanent decision really quickly. Or people in an argument with their significant other.

So yeah. Take the guns away from everybody. They're not worth the risk.
Jul 21, 2015 TheLurker commented on Glasgow's Alt Pride Celebration Bans Drag Acts.
All of the drag performances I've attended have given off a Minstrelsy vibe. It's not just transwomen but all women's sexuality that is being targeted, and frankly, yes, it feels uncomfortable and it's often not funny. I'm not sure how you change that, but when cis*-men do it it seems an awful lot like punching down.

(* "Cis" is an identification I have problems with because it's not an identity you label yourself with, usually, it's something that's applied to you. If you didn't know me, you might think I was a cis-woman, and I get to enjoy that privilege, but I am nonbinary.)
May 15, 2015 TheLurker commented on SL Letter of the Day: Preferences.
Depending on what else this person 'requires' - transmen? But then he'd have to give up the idea of being with a woman. But T makes things grow.....
May 5, 2015 TheLurker commented on John Oliver Takes On Standardized Tests, Citing Seattle High School Boycott.
@10 - Absolutely not. I believe 100% in a public-only system that doesn't waste its time on endless standardized tests; and I also believe that the social inequality in the US, rather than its diversity, is the source of its problems.

Honestly I object to the suggestion that diversity is at the root of educational problems. It's disturbingly close to arguing that America should shut its borders even tighter than it already has.