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May 19, 2015 dreadnought07 commented on Savage Love.
Seeing statements like "no trans people/no fatties/no uglies/etc" in a dating profile will always turn me off. People who use them may feel like they're being commendably blunt, but they just come across as assholes to me.
Dec 16, 2014 dreadnought07 commented on Savage Love.
LUG = "Lesbian Until Graduation"
Apr 23, 2014 dreadnought07 commented on Bi-sexual But Hetero-Amorous.
I'm bisexual but homoromantic. I do identify as bisexual, because I use Ochs's definition, and because who knows, there may be 1 man out there in all of the universe that I do find love with someday. But I can't really imagine it. (And I do always disclose this.)

Honestly, I'll probably end up rounding up to lesbian if/when I end up in a longterm relationship. Because while I AM bisexual, it's really so much easier to round... but then there's the problem of contributing to bisexual erasure... IDK.
Dec 10, 2013 dreadnought07 commented on The Homeschool Apostates.
@135 You say that "I keep repeating that real home schooled kids are not isolated and it's like talking to a brick wall."

Not all home schooled kids are isolated, definitely! I was for a few years of my life, but later on I was put in homeschool groups like choir/drama/etc, and then later on again I went to community college & then college. A lot of my friends were the same way - for some, their parents tended to keep them away from anywhere except church & safe homeschool groups, but they did learn social skills there, and for others, they were given a broad range of experiences, like volunteering, military-auxiliary training for kids, sports, dance, etc.

Other homeschool kids I knew, though, were completely isolated. I only knew them through home-church.

My point is that there is a wide range of homeschoolers and a wide range of homeschooling experiences, and that not only are some kids completely isolated, but others are heavily controlled (only 'safe' spaces where they won't hear anything their parents don't want). When I cut my hair and went to college I became persona non grata with some homeschool families because I was a bad example to their girls (unfeminine, independent). When my parents got divorced we were instantly dropped by a looooot of people.

I just don't think you can blanket say "real home schooled kids are not isolated".
Dec 10, 2013 dreadnought07 commented on The Homeschool Apostates.
I do wonder what would happen to the unschoolers if government regulation became commonplace in all states. I had unschooling friends who didn't learn to read until they were 11 because "it didn't interest them" and their parents were big on letting kids come to knowledge at their own pace. I had other friends who were in 8th grade math at age 7. Sometimes these sorts of gaps would be contained in the same person (e.g., massively advanced in one area, massively behind in another).

Unschoolers also often give most/all control of education to their children. One of my best friends ran her own education from the age of 9 and went off to college at 16. It worked for her... but another family I knew who unschooled simply never did anything whatsoever (apart from using the older kids as free babysitters for the younger kids), and when they eventually did put the kids in school, I think the 14-year-old was at a 2nd-grade level.

I don't know entirely what I'm trying to say here, lol (it's late), except that I think unschooling would be very difficult to regulate and/or oversee. I feel like the line between "kooky eccentric hippies" and "neglectful parents" is one I'm not confident in outsiders to interpret. I'm not arguing against regulation/oversight - I like the Maine plan as outlined here - but I just don't know how well it would work in practice. (Yes, it would catch the kids who are 12 and aren't reading - but what would it do if the parents said "yup, Susan doesn't want to learn to read yet, and that's fine"?)
Dec 8, 2013 dreadnought07 commented on The Homeschool Apostates.
Just to add to my last comment, I'm not saying the spankings/soap/etc were serious abuse, just that if it had escalated I probably would have thought I deserved it, and even if I had thought it unjust I wouldn't have told anyone.
Dec 8, 2013 dreadnought07 commented on The Homeschool Apostates.
@74 I don't know how well oversight would help, tbh. Everyone I knew in the movement was raised to believe that if you ever complained about your family to any outsider, CPS would come and take you away, separate you from all your siblings, and put you in an abusive foster home. I would never EVER have told anyone that we were spanked (paddles, rods, etc) or that we got our mouths washed out with soap for talking back/sassing/etc. If the person asking came from the State, even less so.

I'm not saying more oversight would be a bad thing or shouldn't be attempted (hopefully it would discover serious cases of abuse?), but I just don't know how well it would work. CPS was the archenemy, not something it ever would have occurred to me to think was on my side.
Dec 8, 2013 dreadnought07 commented on The Homeschool Apostates.
@Dr. Z (#67) - I'm happy to answer any questions you have, though I don't claim to be representative of all Quiverfull-raised homeschoolers (our area is a hotbed of them, though, so I know a good range of experiences as well as my own).

Basicallly, Quiverfull is a hardcore religious philosophy. Not all Quiverfull people are homeschoolers, and not all homeschoolers are Quiverfull. But the two things do lend themselves to each other - if you're forsaking birth control in order to let God give you an enormous family of Christian warriors, then you also often believe that you should have absolute control over their minds and souls (to better raise them to be such warriors), and homeschooling works well for that (particularly in states without any oversight). You can simply refuse to teach your kids anything you don't want them to know.

(I didn't know LGBT people existed until I was 14 years old, for example, didn't hear the f-word until about then either, and I didn't know anything about evolution beyond "they think we are descendants of monkeys, which obviously isn't true".)

I should also say that I always knew I was loved (although I wonder what my childhood would have been like if I hadn't stayed closeted until I left home, or if I'd been a less-obedient child), I was never abused, and I adore all my siblings and can't imagine life with only a few of them. Even if having a family numbering in the double-digits is a bit overwhelming at times. ;)
Dec 8, 2013 dreadnought07 commented on The Homeschool Apostates.
I'm not in the article, but I was a homeschooled Quiverfull kid. My parents weren't abusive, and I did well academically (well, in most subjects - the entirety of my science was religious crap from Bob Jones University), but holy crap is the culture weird (patriarchy, female submission/male supremacy, warriors-for-Christ, memorizing the entire Bible, etc). I don't think I'll ever get over feeling like an alien.

(I'm also incredibly grateful that my parents have evolved a bit over the years, because as depressed as my dad is that a third of his enormous family of warriors-for-Christ have turned out to be atheists, I can't imagine how furious he'd have been in the old days. And two lesbians, to boot? God forbid.)
Oct 1, 2013 dreadnought07 commented on Jon Stewart On What Just Happened.
I squealed for Willy Wonka. :)