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Jul 24, 2013 MarleyBarley commented on Ice In the Urinal: Classy or Trashy?.
May we please have more polling options?
A. Classy
B. Trashy
C. I'm so jealous of the ease and relative cleanliness with which penis-owners can urinate standing up, I refuse to form an opinion of the subject.
D. Sorry, zero fucks left to give today.

I'm kinda torn between options C & D, myself.
Apr 5, 2013 MarleyBarley commented on Savage Love.
On the motorcycling debate - maybe my perspective is a little more sour on them because I grew up around nurses. You don't have to hear very many stories of your mom or your older sister trying to help wash off the gravel that got embedded into someone's skin (or scrubbing off burned, dead skin) to develop a healthy appreciation of the dangers involved.

Which is not to say that I don't also appreciate the danger of fire in general and all of these metal contraptions harnessing controlled combustion to propel us through the world at superhuman speeds. If seriously and sincerely thinking about the reality of it (the ease with which something could go wrong, and the horrifying implications that could have) doesn't terrify you even a *little* bit, then either you're made of very stern stuff indeed, or you're lacking imagination and a sense of self-preservation.

My husband knew about my aversion to motorcycles specifically, and incautious driving generally, before he married me. Sappho, it isn't an abusive disregard for his sense of self-determination for me to ask him to continue to not engage in motorcycling. I'm a worrier with a gift for vivid imagination of worst-case scenarios - it would be abusive for him to be with someone like me and then ignore my concerns and do whatever silly or stupid thing struck his fancy. Just like it would be abusive for someone to marry a strictly monogamous person and then continually fuck other people.

It's not abusive to set a price of admission. It's abusive to agree to pay it, and then ignore that pledge.
Apr 3, 2013 MarleyBarley commented on Savage Love.
@20 - KDru - I have always been firmly opposed to my husband's desire to get a motorcycle - I have visions of having to go to a morgue to identify the smear of raspberry jam that used to be my spouse - but your post convinced me to give him a chance.

Right up until this line - "But the point is, avoiding overtly dangerous pastimes will not save you. Being careful and mindful of your surroundings just might."

Hahahahahahahaha. He is very absent-minded and easily distracted, I don't think that will save him.

So you're from a family of riders, you're a good person to ask - should I let him ride anyway, as long as he's carefully coated in armor? He's a mechanic/handyman, so he's always up to his elbows in dangerous stuff anyway.... It just seems like a shop accident is likely to only take a digit or a limb, whereas a road accident could just as easily cripple or kill.

And if you're willing to help my husband by trying to ease my worries but don't want to derail this thread entirely, my email is marley(underscore)soluna, at yahoo dot com.
Jan 30, 2013 MarleyBarley commented on If Your Gay Kid Is Being Bullied At School And He Begs You To Homeschool Him....
On the subject of the affordability of homeschooling -

In Ohio, we have ECOT - - which I think is also available in other states. It's a great alternative to traditional public schools - it's a combo of homeschooling plus public school. All your materials are free (they even provide computers and internet connections to those who don't already have them, and for families that provide their own connections they offer an office supply stipend to pay for ink/paper/etc). All the kids get tailored attention from their teachers. All the interaction is monitored by the teachers.

My niece graduated from the program last year, and my daughter started Kindergarten through ECOT this past fall, and we've all loved it. So, if you know someone who wishes they could homeschool but feels like it's unattainably expensive, tell them to check out ECOT.
Jan 12, 2013 MarleyBarley commented on This American Death.
@27, every tragic situation you mention has its roots in guns not being carefully secured by the adults in the situation.

My gun was *my* gun, but it lived in my father's locked gun cabinet.

I don't think there's anything inherently wrong in an older child owning a gun. I think there's something seriously wrong about any person of any age owning a gun who doesn't respect it as the deadly tool that it is and handle it in a safe manner.

I also think that gun ownership should be contingent upon completion of a seriously stringent training program and psychological evaluation.
Jan 12, 2013 MarleyBarley commented on This American Death.
@24/25 - Maybe I was an extraordinary 12-y-o, but I don't think so. I am not some gun-worshiping wacko, guns scare the ever-loving bejeezus out of me and I will never be a collector/enthusiast. But to say that tween-age kids cannot be trained to be careful around guns is simply incorrect.

I got my first - and only - gun (a 20-gauge shotgun) as a Christmas gift when I was 12 - because I had finished a gun and hunting safety course and wanted to go deer hunting with my father and brother. I live in rural SE Ohio where people who don't hunt are much more the exception than people who do. I grew up around other kids who participated in hunting. Every single one of us treated guns with the utmost respect.

My experience growing up with guns has much in common with @20's - we were taught that guns are dangerous tools, they must be kept locked away safely, they must never be left loaded, they must be stored in a separate place from the ammunition.

It is basic gun safety and common sense - the VERY FIRST thing you do when you pick up a gun is to point it in a safe direction and check to see if it's loaded, and remove all bullets/cartridges from the chamber if it IS loaded and you are not prepared to shoot at your carefully-chosen target. It is absolutely negligent and horrific that this child was allowed to hold and own a gun without having had that simple rule drilled into his/her head until it was instinct.

You touch a gun. You check the chamber. First thing, every time.
Aug 26, 2012 MarleyBarley commented on Who's Normalizing Bestiality?.
@65 ITA.

I voted that it made me want skittles. It's not that gross, but it didn't make me want to make out with a walrus, and it wasn't THAT funny (not like P-p-p-p-POWER! and POTATO CHIPS!, which only seem to get better with repeat viewing.) But it did remind that Skittles are tasty...
Jul 25, 2012 MarleyBarley commented on SL Letter of the Day: Going on Seventeen.
@14 - Fake?? My experience with actual teenagers (my oldest niece is about to turn 19) suggests otherwise. The ones who don't think they're the exception to every rule are few and far between - the attitude that "Things Will Be Different For Me!" is kinda necessary at that age, anyway. Too much realism, especially in economically depressed areas, can murder your ambition.

24/25 - aaahhhhhhhh I love that about Dan, too. Incorrect use of parentheses is one of my pet peeves.
Jul 25, 2012 MarleyBarley commented on Savage Love.
I agree that TOP's husband's selfish attitude ("I hate condoms so YOU figure out birth control!") is the primary problem. But hey, TOP, *why* does your husband hate condoms? Is there an issue with fit? (Try different brands and different sizes/styles in each brand.) Is there an issue with sensitivity? (Go check out Crown condoms - suuuuper cheap on Amazon - they're really incredibly thin, my husband loves them. We first heard about them here in the SL comments btw!) Is he maybe allergic to latex or a particular lubricant or spermicide?

Hormonal birth control is out of the question for me, too, so I chart my cycles (check out - free cycle charting) and we only have to use condoms during the week or so of possible fertility.

@28, thanks for that link, I didn't realize there was a mailing list to be informed of clinical trials held in the US for RISUG/Vasalgel! I know it's a long-shot here because it goes so heavily against the interests of pharmaceutical companies, but maybe if we're lucky, the Canadians will start offering it and allow American men to pay cash for the procedure. Fingers crossed!
Jun 13, 2012 MarleyBarley commented on Savage Love.
@53 - wonderfully, succinctly stated. I totally agree. Thanks for that.