DAVIDinKENAI
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Feb 11 DAVIDinKENAI commented on The Definition of Insanity: Gay Republicans.
Trump: "Marriage is a sacred institution between one man and one, much-younger, immigrant third wife."
Feb 10 DAVIDinKENAI commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Using "Crazy" Like That Is So Gay, Dan, Really Lame.
Apparently, comments in brackets don't come through. I'd included *sarcasm* after my first paragraph. And *sigh* after my last.
Feb 10 DAVIDinKENAI commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Using "Crazy" Like That Is So Gay, Dan, Really Lame.
So referring the poo eaters or animal fuckers or dead animal fuckers as "sick puppies" is also out? Because "sick" denigrates people who have caught infectious diseases. And "puppies" denigrates canines.

I'm cool with the colloquial use of "crazy". That said, most times "crazy" arises in Savage Love, it would be more precise to say "asshole", "drama queen" or "asshole drama queen", so picking which of those apply could be clarifying.

But that would denigrate an orifice vital to anal sex, all drama majors everywhere, and female royal sovereigns.
Feb 8 DAVIDinKENAI commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: She Knows She's Bi Now—But Does Anyone Else Need To Know?.
That THEY should STFU if they push for sordid details. Not that you need to.
Feb 8 DAVIDinKENAI commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: She Knows She's Bi Now—But Does Anyone Else Need To Know?.
@5: yeah.

WHO you are is, ideally, part of your public persona for all the reasons Dan listed.

What you are doing in bed, however, is not part of normal, polite conversation. And if someone starts an interrogation: "When did you know, who did you first sleep with?" respond by (1) pointing out that they wouldn't ask that same question of someone progressing to be straight and therefore (2) to STFU.

OTOH, if someone is genuinely wondering about your journey, you could leave out the names and dates and explain that you mostly knew long before you acted on it. And trying the other gender (you needn't specify) left you sure.
Feb 2 DAVIDinKENAI commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: The Wife Has Issues (And a Boyfriend).
"then physically with a couple of people. This was more of an escape from life thing, as she has never been a particularly sexual person."

She's not a sexual person but she fucks a variety of other people including the gay male best friend? That's pretty fucking sexual. Just not with you.

Sorry, LW, you sound like a nice guy. Who is still in love with his wife. But she's not in love nor in lust with you. She's got you wrapped around her finger ("I cheated because I was depressed"?!?). People in love with you are more concerned with your well-being then your wife's behavior indicates she cares about you. People in lust with you fuck you more than twice a month.

Short term: "do what you need to do to stay sane" and, as Dan says, announce it and then do it, don't ask permission, hard though that is (it's pretty clear who wears the pants in this marriage).

Long term: Do you want to be with someone who isn't in love or in lust with you? Projecting your feelings onto her only goes so far for so long. Like 16 or 17 years, apparently.
Jan 28 DAVIDinKENAI commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Debt and the Maiden.
"Last night I found out that she has …. $170k total."

How does one even do that? Go to an undergrad school that is $42k+ per year, (that's almost Stanford / Yale realms), work NOT AT ALL during the school year, NOT AT ALL during the summer and get a degree that pays diddly squat forever? Of course there are other ways to get to that point - take more than 4 years to get a worthless degree, accrue debt by living beyond your means (not living like a college student while in college, etc), uncovered medical expenses (although I'd think he'd have disclosed that).

Sure, one can get out of medical school with $170k in debt (4 years undergrad getting good grades and then 4 years of med school studying hard) but continuing to live like a college student during residency and for another 3 years of professional practice especially with a job that offers loan forgiveness, and it could all be paid back.

So while the LW seems shallow for focusing on how long he'll be dealing with this debt, the more serious concern is what kind of judgement she has that she got into this predicament with MONEY SHE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE. Those people tend to do even worse when the money is someone else's (i.e YOURS).
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Jan 22 DAVIDinKENAI commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Who's Your Survey Monkey? I'm Your Survey Monkey!.
I'm with @22: the high-libido partner already knows the frustration of being less than fulfilled and likely fears past performance predicting future returns.

While the low-libido partner gets it whenever they want - they can snap their fingers and have an eager sexual partner, but they may have fears that not doing this icky sex thing very often is causing their partner to think about straying. So the cheating spouse is a bigger fear for them.

That said, we have a few exceptions already posted (@25 and @29).
Jan 22 DAVIDinKENAI commented on New Bernie Sanders Ad.
The NH Primary and IA Caucus are coming up. What if they used actual footage from NH and IA? I've been in all 99 counties in Iowa and all 10 in New Hampshire. I didn't see any scenes that appear be from anywhere else. Especially in the more iconic settings (dairy farms, rural small towns), you see almost all white faces. The only reason you'd see as many POCs as that video shows are if one was in Des Moines or Portsmouth, on a college campus, and/or at a political rally for a progressive candidate.

I realize "Sanders video shows representative numbers of different races" isn't a very click-baity headline. But it would be accurate.

And thanks for your story, @5.
Jan 19 DAVIDinKENAI commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: How Can I Unscrew This Screwed Pooch?.
"she was dating guys on the side"

No, she wasn't dating guys "on the side". You'd dumped her, and then she dated other guys. There's nothing "on the side" about that. The immature, self-centeredness in that wording is striking.

Dude, project a lot less. A whole lot less. Just because you can imagine a happy future with someone you've treated so poorly, doesn't mean (1) they still care, (2) they owe you anything nor (3) that it is a possibility.