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Jun 13 SifuMark commented on Mormon Church Stops Pretending It Gives Two Shits.
Recently missionaries showed up on my porch, I explained that I was already familiar with their beliefs, and whipped Discordian Pope cards out of my wallet, they had no idea what to do so they took them.
We Discordians worship the Great God of Chaos (Eris, who is a female God BTW), so it was basically a ticket to hell by their belief structure: they now have proof that they are Popes (as we all are) and I hope that it jump started their brains.
May 30 SifuMark commented on Headline of the Day.
Side note:
As a retail worker I have noticed that some young men still consider the purchase of condoms as an occasion for shame, not pride, and I don't think that in two years at a drug store I've sold to more than one woman.

Get it together folks, hold them over your head on the way to the counter (or just open carry) so people know "This is how it's done!"

/preaching to the choir
May 30 SifuMark commented on Headline of the Day.
My mind in fifth grade "You have a tree house hiding a box full of porn mags and you want to ride bikes? What's wrong with you?"
May 3 SifuMark commented on Coming Soon: Wind the Inheritance.
I was recovering from an anxiety attack and then I found out that H.D.A. was taking a bath in a sewer.

I need to hide, he was my hero.
May 3 SifuMark commented on At the Top of My Twitter Feed This Morning.
As Luis C.K. pointed out, if you have a ten year old boy he will fuck the couch if left alone.

If your male kids are grown, suit yourself, if they're not this thing is going to get messed up.
Apr 2 SifuMark commented on Man Who Raped Three-Year-Old Daughter Sentenced to Probation.
Was the judge a Catholic bishop?
Because he thinks like a Catholic bishop.
Mar 20 SifuMark commented on People Are Upset About Bill Maher's Comments About Noah (and Copernicus).
Plushsnail: I don't know what you mean by this "Religious thought" of which you speak.

Fortunate: good work unpacking that. I don't know what the word "spiritual" means and haven't seen any use for it since I figured that out several years ago. Humans need to cut loose and get high, so we tell stories around campfires, play music and go to movies, the day these stories came to be mistaken for truth they become lies.

Signed Sincerely:Rev. Dktr Saint Cephalopod
Mar 12 SifuMark commented on Savage Love.
Some guy out there who wants to be wants to be a dominatrix has an opportunity.

It happens one way, why can't it happen the other?
Mar 7 SifuMark commented on Savage Love.
Indulge every harmless fetish, dude, you will be rewarded. Some folks love to watch that, to us it's neutral.

We have a bathroom code: *Knock knock* "Serious business?"

If the S.O. says no then it's something no more than a piss, one may enter. If either of us say "yes" the other walks away. The door is never locked, nor is it opened if the business is serious. By which I mean poo.

Dan has made it clear that farting "openly" is what a relationship is all about, though. Farts are comedy for some reason.
Mar 6 SifuMark commented on Moonie Times Comes Out Against Your Wedding Cake's "Sexual Proclivities".
Okay I hate 95% of people so much sometimes, but may I share a restoring faith in Humanity moment:

I don't guarantee that The Inn At Morro Bay is still this cool, but when I worked there they provided a huge deck right on the bay. On a day around 1996 the people in the most expensive rooms ($450 a night or more) saw two women in tremendous bridal gowns walk down the aisle.

Both families attended in huge groups, and when they had the reception in a banquet room right off of the kitchen, and there were fifty or more people dancing to We Are Family, well you know, I'm crying while typing, I was so proud for everyone there, I wanted to dance with them so much it still kills me.

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