Strangercrombie Donor 2010
Awesome Person 2011
Capitol Hill, Seattle
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Jun 1 seandr commented on Science News: We Are Quick to Condemn the Shooting of a Famous Animal but Do Nothing About the Climate Change That Threatens and Kills Millions Upon Millions of Animals.
a pedestrian hit at 30 mph instead of 25 mph is 70 percent more likely to be killed.

Ok, but that comes at the cost of the vehicle arriving 17% later.
Jun 1 seandr commented on Savage Love.
@BiDanFan: Thanks for that!
May 28 seandr commented on Savage Love.
@Alison: If a man explains to me that sexual harassment is not a thing...

Sure. There are some things about the female experience that most men don't/can't see themselves, and part of being a good progressive is to know this, listen, and learn. I've only ever seen "mansplaining" misused on the internet (including here), yet I take for granted that it happens, often enough, in cases where I wasn't there to see it.

Are progressive women open to the possibility that they may have blindspots when it comes to men? That feminist memes can be misapplied and lead to the same sort of sexism that it claims to be against? Can they entertain the distant possibility that men are actually worth hashing things out with?

Hmm. I'm having that feeling again, like I'm standing in the doorway of a popular restaurant that is very, very sorry but can't seem to locate my reservation.
May 27 seandr commented on Savage Love.
@BiDanFan: to a woman, who knows more about the subject than he does... It's particularly funny when that subject is feminism

Given that feminism deals with the broader subject of how men and women should relate to each other, why should women be assumed to have more expertise than men? If feminism is truly about "equality", what am I to make of your statement?

It just seems so obvious to me that men and women should be equally welcomed into these discussions/negotiations (at least in progressive circles), and yet so many women, many of whom are intelligent and fair-minded and wonderful, seem to espouse views that are blatantly exclusionary and sexist.
May 27 seandr commented on Savage Love.
Re mansplaining: I'm sure the phenomenon exists. However, I've only ever seen the term used as a form of sexism whereby a dissenting point of view is dismissed on the grounds of having been expressed by a male.
May 27 seandr commented on Savage Love.
@BiDanFan: Fascinating. This only confirms my suspicion that you'd be a super fun party buddy.

And to be clear, I am a switch. My leather daddy outfit includes a collar, and my female friends are encouraged to grab me by it should they ever need anything.

I've just been fixating on my dom side lately because up until the last year or so that energy had been building up with no outlet.
May 26 seandr commented on Savage Love.
@nocute: I've also observed men who feel the need to explain literally everything

A very witty and smart friend of mine once quipped about "male expert syndrome", which compels its victims to respond to whatever conversational topic arises with a brief lecture, which may or may not be complete bullshit, intended to establish him as the resident expert in the subject matter. It was hilarious because all of us (men) could immediately think of guys who fit this description. It seemed to be common in fields that fetishize intelligence such as academia and tech.

My brother-in-law (professor in computational genetics, super nice guy, married to a former hardcore feminist turned stay-at-home-mom) used to suffered from it years ago, although middle age seems to have beaten all that pretentiousness out of him.
May 25 seandr commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Help Me Out, Sloggers.
Maybe hang around the U-District?
May 25 seandr commented on Savage Love.
@venn: The vibrations are forming of the European settler come to bring civilization to the savages and to reform their strange customs.

Funny, that was exactly the metaphor that came to my mind.

As for why she suddenly became interested in het men when she "entered her 30s", it could be for reasons similar to BiDanFan - they're easier to find and attract.

On the other hand, I know a number of former radical feminists who settled comfortably into traditional gender roles once they hit their late 20s/early 30s and decided having a career was overrated and they wanted to have kids. I wouldn't be surprised if LW is on that same track.

For me, the most worrisome thing about this letter and some of the comments above is the implicit suggestion that the boyfriend should abandon his friends and family for LW. I don't care what the circumstances, when a partner seeks to isolate his/her partner from his/her community, that is a form of abuse. She hasn't yet crossed that line, but I suspect that's because she doesn't believe she has the power (yet) to pull it off.
May 24 seandr commented on Savage Love.
My leftist-hippie-queer friends allow all people space to talk.

Even boring, hostile, opinionated people who think they're better than everyone else?