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Jan 23, 2013 fannerz commented on Savage Love Episode 326.
@18: I think you can do both. Humans are complex and can hold multiple, even contradictory thoughts in mind. You can say "Fuck, that barely legal chick is hot" *and* "I am still ridiculously attracted to my partner of many decades, because of a long fostered mutual understanding and history." The problem comes when that second part is not articulated, and one or both partners simply assume that the other is aware. No. No one is ever just aware. If you think your wife/husband/triad of lovers is hot... TELL THEM.
Jan 23, 2013 fannerz commented on Access To Abortion Creates Stable, Two-Parent Families.
@5: That actually doesn't surprise me. After millennia of "sex = babies" we were suddenly free to have sex with no babies. And those first pills were HORRID. So there was more sex, with a not-so good pill.
Jan 23, 2013 fannerz commented on Access To Abortion Creates Stable, Two-Parent Families.
None of this surprises me. It all comes from the same thing: "Women aren't property anymore, and thus, must be punished."
Jan 22, 2013 fannerz commented on Savage Love Episode 326.
Also... (And I am *not* saying sex addiction isn't overused as an excuse, it is), but there are tons of non chemical things to which one can be addicted. Gambling is the most obvious example. You could use those exact arguments to say gambling addiction is a fraud. "You aren't really addicted to *gambling*, you're using gambling as a means to escape your real problems." And that is a very defensible argument, but no one would say gambling addiction isn't real. You can be really addicted to something, and be using it as a means of escape, the two aren't mutually exclusive.
Jan 22, 2013 fannerz commented on Savage Love Episode 326.
I agree with Dr. whathisface about the harms of pathologizing male sexuality. BUT, you can't just say women are "playing th victim" when they feel insecure in the face of porn. I am 100% pro porn, but I am also very aware that women are told from a very young age that their inherent value is inextricably tied to their physical appearance. The patriarchy made women insecure and now it's turning around and saying we're hurting by being insecure. If you want to live in a completely sex positive society (and who doesn't) then maybe we need to start challenging the ways in which very young girls are sexualized, and then demonized for being sexualized, and then blamed again for not being sexual enough later on in life. Jack off to all the porn you want, power to you. But your wife minds not because she actually thinks you are gonna fall in love with a jpeg, but because she was taught that the moment she is no longer fuckable, she is worthless. Just keep that in mind.
Jan 21, 2013 fannerz commented on Savage Love Episode 325.
That last caller's accent was so hot. Never thought I could be turned on by hearing talk about old come on gravestones... but the Irish can do strange things to my lady bits.
Jan 8, 2013 fannerz commented on Savage Love.
I call a cock between ass cheeks "hotdogging". Because, sausage in buns.
Dec 26, 2012 fannerz commented on Savage Love.
@7: Crushes can happen, yeah. But there is a long way between the first flutterings and being "in love." A responsible person in a good open relationship will *stop having sex* with a person to whom they are overly attracted, for the sake of the primary relationship. I know, it's crazy, turning down sex. But trust me, it can be done.
Dec 21, 2012 fannerz commented on Great Young Turks Segment on Olympic Athlete Caught Escorting.
Hobbyist? Really? That is hilarious. Also, TYT are spot on. But, really? Hobbyists? Hahahaha.
Dec 21, 2012 fannerz commented on SL Letter of the Day: Shopping Spree.
@3: Women aren't vending machines you pop niceness coins into until sex falls out. Lose the victim-y whine. No one owes you sex.