report this user
Aug 7, 2015 Thexalon commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: The Reality Check.
I don't blame him, but I sure hope he learned from this. At least he got played not quite as badly as a 68-year-old millionaire (quite possibly ex-millionaire) I'm acquainted with.
Jun 24, 2015 Thexalon commented on Savage Love.
@21 "People are perhaps being just a little harsh about GETOUT's girlfriend (isn't anyone else considering that her problems may arise from sexual trauma in her past?)."

She may well have sexual trauma in her past, and that may explain some of her sexual aversion, but it doesn't explain this: Why does she want a husband so badly that she's threatening to kill herself if she doesn't get one?
Jun 23, 2015 Thexalon commented on Savage Love.
GETOUT needs to read up on emotional blackmail - threatening suicide is a classic move for those sorts of people. The key phrase to understand them is "It's all your fault!", and it will escalate however much it needs to in order to get what they want.

"I burnt the potatoes, and it's all your fault because you distracted me with text messages!"
"I lost my job when I flipped off my boss, and it's all your fault because you kept me up late last night!"
"I'm going to jump off a bridge, and it's all your fault because you refused to marry me!"
And so on.

The only solution is to leave. If you're nervous about what she'll do, call up her family or trusted friends and make a plan with them to prevent her from doing something stupid.

I write from experience.
Jun 13, 2015 Thexalon commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: The Worst That Could Happen.
"If you can't bear the risk of being dumped—because of an ex or some other issue—you'll have to be celibate."

I have to correct Dan on this point: The alternative to both of those is NSA hookups, which as a straight-out-of-college straight woman LW should have no problem making happen if that's what she wants.
Jan 5, 2015 Thexalon commented on SL Letter of the Day: Harshing His Smell-o.
"I can't kiss him without thinking about the teeth that need to be extracted, and it's very gross to me when he touches me with hands that smell like ass."

Tell him what you just told Dan and all of us. And tell him you aren't going to put up with that forever.

Also, 10 years? I'm guessing this guy has let himself go because he thinks that he can count on you being there regardless of whether he remains smart, funny, good, or attractive.
Dec 12, 2014 Thexalon commented on SL Letter of the Day: Just an Excuse to Link the Playboy Interview.
Dan Savage has just laid out a great new way of pushing an end to sexual violence: End sexual assault => women aren't as afraid of men => straight men get laid!
Oct 16, 2014 Thexalon commented on Savage Love.
The real meaning of "post-mononormative" in this context:

"I want to fuck other people, and you can either let me do that without making a fuss, or you can go to hell. But instead of just saying that plainly, I'm going to use a fancy word for it because that sounds nicer than just telling you what I'm going to do."

And I'm going to respectfully disagree with the argument that some people really think in that language. When somebody uses a big word to explain what's really a very simple concept, they're basically hiding their true feelings behind technical jargon. If what you're going to say without using the jargon makes you sound like a complete jerk, then you're still being a complete jerk even if you say it with a bunch of long words.

And in this case, I think both of them need to stop using their graduate-school social science discourse to hide what they really mean.
Sep 3, 2014 Thexalon commented on Those Leaked Celebrity Nudes: Have You Looked?.
I'm really not that curious: Any straight guy who can look at a woman clothed and not have a pretty good idea of what she looks like nude is lacking in either experience or imagination. As a female friend of mine once put it a long time ago: "A lot of guys want to know what I look like naked. Well, I look like me, but without any clothes on."
Apr 3, 2014 Thexalon commented on #Cancel Colbert: The Politics of Being Offended.
My instincts on this: She was in fact trying to claim Colbert's scalp and not really making some kind of satire, believing it would make her some variety of celebrity that would potentially make her a career of some kind. Her almost-success has been almost as good, turning a basically unknown 23-year-old into someone who's getting a lot of press (for at least 15 minutes).

She got as much attention as she did because there are lots of people who would like Stephen Colbert gone for reasons completely unrelated to the joke that got him in trouble when quoted out of context. I also wouldn't be surprised if some of the Twitter support she got was paid shills, which happens all the time to make certain hashtags "trend".

Stephen's original joke was clearly just that, a joke, and the whole point was that Dan Snyder's real foundation was no more acceptable than Stephen Colbert's fake foundation. Anyone with half a brain could see that.
Mar 26, 2014 Thexalon commented on Savage Love.
The question from the person who was definitely "the other man" in a married woman's life reminds me of the old adage: "If they'll cheat with you, they'll cheat on you." (And no, open relationships aren't cheating, but screwing somebody else and hiding it makes you a CPOS).