Mar 2, 2015 xjuan commented on Anti-Gay Bigots Discover Surprising New Cure for Homosexuality.
Come on, Dan. What would convince you to play away the gay? I know it's nothing, but, what'd be in your list, if ever? World peace? A totally Democrat Congress? Canada taking over Washington? Don't let us hanging here...
Feb 22, 2015 xjuan commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Come On, Snoopy.
Use the balance technique: on one hand, put what you get from the relationship, the good stuff, what makes you love him, what you could achieve together. On the other hand, put what makes you suffer, your jealousy, how much would you suffer by breaking up and the other bad stuff. Then try to decide which side weights more. If you decide to save your relationship, follow Dan's advice; if not, break up.
Jan 28, 2015 xjuan commented on SL Letter of the Day: Noise Makers.
Next time wait for them to climax and applaud loudly and yell bravos and huzzahs. I'm sure they'll get the clue and she'll become self aware of her noises.
Jan 7, 2015 xjuan commented on Cartoonists Respond with Pen, Ink, and Courage.
Je suis Charlie
Jan 6, 2015 xjuan commented on SL Letter of the Day: Harshing His Smell-o.
Yep, I concur with the rest of the audience: this relationship needs to end. You both need to recover from this unhealthy situation. You are ready for therapy: go for it. He may get ready for it later on or not, but you can only follow up from afar. Let him learn his lessons and you go learn yours.
Jan 1, 2015 xjuan commented on Savage Love.
Yes, in LTRs there's the need for sex-when-tired or maintenance sex. Especially when there are kids at home, split schedules or a traveling companion, to mention some cases. If you wait to be "in the mood" and only have sex when in the mood, your opportunities diminish to about ten percent of what they could be. I'm all for "have all the sex you can" even if it requires an extra effort from time to time. Work it or lose it.

@SNIFF: Pick them, use them and return them afterwards. First problem solved. As for the moral issue, I don't know if that really amounts to non-consensual sex. The owner of the smell is not actually present when you masturbate and they'll never know, so, to me: no harm done. Enjoy!
Dec 19, 2014 xjuan commented on Savage Love.
Re: the therapist's question: it seems that her patient is looking for a proxy suicide, of course, but I wonder why she wants to do it in a dangeoun. Is she looking to die in pain? Does she want to take revenge at the BDSM community and why? Is she convinced that she is a reborn Spanish Inquisitor looking for redemption? It is a very sad and dangerous situation which would require, in my opinion, to Baker-Act her. It's not just her life what's at stake here. It seems to me that Therapist needs help from other professionals.
Dec 18, 2014 xjuan commented on To a Porn-Watching Dad, About Your Smut-Shaming Daughter.
That letter is just religious propaganda. Fake and all, it is directed to self righteous Christians with their heads full of bs transferred to them by their own inept parents. So sad.
Dec 5, 2014 xjuan commented on SL Letter of the Day: Two Graves, One Book.
In reading these letters where LWs say they've been reading Dan's column for X number of years and then plot and act the way AAHHWW did makes me doubt about the use of advise columnists. But then come those other positive letters where readers and LWs say how much good has come out of such advise. Then I remember: we're only humans.

Be the better human being, AAHHWW, and forget about your shitty ex and his shitty wife. They deserve each other. Prove to yourself that you deserve better.
Nov 19, 2014 xjuan commented on SL Letter of the Day: Advice Privileges Suspended.
Learn to enjoy your prostate.