Nov 26, 2014
commented on SL Letter of the Day: Criminal in Canada
As a bi man I have actively invited past boyfriends to wake me in a variety of ways but, if anyone is interested, you tend to wake up when someone shoves their dick into you.
That is different from having a dick inserted when one is passed-out drunk.
But if this guy is going to get upset about his partner humping and licking him, no doubt he will need trauma counselling if he ever gets a puppy.
Nov 18, 2014
commented on Savage Love
Click mustn't forget that his kid will (and should) always be his priority - even over (?)her.
She is planning to move into his family space and shouldn't expect to call the shots.
Dan's advice is spot on but I am reading the early stages of a power struggle on Click's side.
Oct 1, 2014
commented on SL Letter of the Day: Least Favorite Question
LW, as @28 stated, the key word is self-medication (ing).
Take it from someone who smoked (dope and tobacco) daily from 18 to 40, couldn't go out socially without drinking to excess and had only ever hooked up when drunk/stoned.
It took way too long to work out that I had a problem and getting the right help in the UK isn't as easy as you might think.
Stop fooling yourself that you are choosing celibacy, don't get me wrong celibacy is fine if it is right for you but my guess is that you do crave contact.
So, get sober, get into any activity you can that allows you to avoid the pressure of meeting people for the sake of meeting them (bars, nightclubs, etc) because I suspect that this is where you are most uncomfortable. Do things that you enjoy in their own right - sports, hobbies, volunteering - things where you can build your confidence and esteem, and maybe meet someone you are happy to be with.
Sep 15, 2014
commented on This Is an IKEA Ad
I'm still trying to work out how their scene was going to play out. Are we talking the fork or the handle being jammed into the ass?
Jul 4, 2014
commented on I, Anonymous
@15 where did you get the "I, Anon put herself in a situation with people she should have had at least a smidgen of clue that she couldn't trust" from?
As it seems to be the basis of your argument, I think it's fair to challenge you to demonstrate that is a reasonable assumption.
Btw, if you think that everyone that disagrees with you is a hater then you really need to develop some nuance to your world-view.
I for one don't give a shit about you one way or another ;-)
Jul 3, 2014
commented on I, Anonymous
sounds like a case where less malt liquor might have been advisable eh Ziff?
The key question is: does the definition of rape include when the recipient says "no" in a variety of forms, is repeatedly ignored but eventually allows the act to take place when they *could* have prevented it?
I use *could* because this is the tricky point. Is Anon indicating that she lacked the self esteem/confidence to push him off or is she now blaming herself for becoming overpowered? - But how much difference does it really make? Haven't women been raped in this way since ... always, pressurised, manipulated, intimidated?
The "take more responsibility" stance seems similar to the age old advice to kids against bullying where one should "stand up for yourself" and "fight back" ... handy to know if you aren't already terrified. So, yes, it does sound like victim blaming to me.