Mar 8, 2016
commented on About Those Consent Is Simple PSAs...
My takeway from the PSA was to consider that the onus is on the instigator to seek active signs of consent rather than wait for a no as the characters portray. It could have been made more obvious I guess but surely this plants the idea in their (mainly young men's) heads to realise that invading personal space without invitation is inappropriate.
@11 yes the consent and tea is better.
Feb 27, 2016
commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: The Box Under the Bed
@6 "one thing to organize," yeah, no, it is still creepy to organise the sex toys - only people with some form of developmental disorder would struggle to see that some things are by default private unless a direct invitation is made.
Feb 26, 2016
commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Meth Practices
"responsible drug users" ... ahh yes, that wonderful illusion that it is you that is in control of your substance consumption, PAY.
In the future, if you are lucky, you will look back to realise just how naive you were as you wasted so much of you health and youth on bombarding your body and mind with self-medication rather than developing the introspection to understand why you felt the need to take it.
Whatever the substance: pot, booze, tobacco, harder stuff; whether we take it once a month or once an hour, it is consumed for a reason. Regardless of how dangerous the habit may be - a couple of beers &/or a vape in the evening being at the better end of the spectrum - the fact that you feel the need to defend it speaks volumes to the fact that you depend on it.
Feb 16, 2016
commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: The Ex Files
He may be the only one she feels she can talk it out with. Certainly not the new guy and maybe friends and family aren't appropriate for some reason.
But I can't help thinking that this is important enough to her that she is bringing it up a while since they broke up. I suspect that this is something that needs the perspective of someone who understands the process of grieving for a lost pregancy - even an unwanted one. Surely Dan you could get a second opinion from one of your contacts at planned parenthood?
Feb 6, 2016
commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: A Tall Order
Speaking from experience I'm inclined to think that this relationship has pathological components. I certainly recognise the way in which (illegal) drugs are being used to self-medicate while being regarded as being taken recreationally.
I'm not suggesting that the relationship as it stands is all bad - it sounds like both parties have problems that being together helps - but I suspect this codependency is enabling avoidance of their underlying problems.
I am also not moralizing about substance use, I'm just highlighting that many years later these two may look back and realise that this didn't solve their problems, just made them more tolerable.
Before romance I would urge some therapy, they both need to understand objectively why they are doing everything that they can to make it virtually impossible to have intimacy with others.
Jan 14, 2016
commented on Savage Love
"I was feeling done in
I'd only ever kissed before
I thought there's no use getting
Into heavy petting
It only leads to trouble
And seat wetting."
... yes we have historically used the term in english speaking countries ;-)